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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Summer family BBQ

35 replies

RomanyQueen1 · 21/04/2019 19:09

Please can I urge people hosting BBQ's this year take responsibility for those who have been drinking.
An accident in my area, hit and run has seen a mother dead and children seriously injured.
Rumour has it the young man driving had been drinking.
If nobody else steps in, please don't let innocent people die.

OP posts:

Spoddy · 21/04/2019 19:18

With the greatest of respect it is not the responsibility of others to police adults in their alcohol consumption and I think it is very unfair to push this onto others.

screamifyouwant · 21/04/2019 19:21

I agree with @Spoddy
I like a drink at a bbq but wouldn't dream of setting foot being the wheel.

Original poster

RomanyQueen1 · 21/04/2019 19:21

Oh Spoddy, I agree, but far better to take their keys and order them a taxi than see innocent people die.
There are at least 5 children from this accident who have lost their mother, and other children are seriously injured and not out of danger yet.

OP posts:

Raspberrytruffle · 21/04/2019 19:32

I agree with @spoddy it's there own responsibility to ensure they are not daft enough to drink and drive

bridgetreilly · 21/04/2019 19:34

YABU.

It's not the host's responsibility to check who has had how much to drink and if they are safe to drive. It's the driver's responsibility not to drink.

Raspberrytruffle · 21/04/2019 19:34

I also dont see why I should have to shell out for a taxi because said person hasn't thought to arrange it, I dont fancy taking someone's car keys off them that's been drinking

Original poster

RomanyQueen1 · 21/04/2019 19:34

I know and I agree except this accident made me think how many people would have known the driver had been drinking and was a danger?
I've not got involved before, but I would now.
All those innocent people who died or are badly injured, small children, the youngest 4 years old.

OP posts:

Raspberrytruffle · 21/04/2019 19:35

At most I'd suggest they stay on my sofa

Hahaha88 · 21/04/2019 19:36

I don't even know anyone who would be so stupid and selfish as to drink and drive. I have a feeling those that socialise with someone who would do so, would probably do so themselves

DisplayPurposesOnly · 21/04/2019 19:39

I'm gobsmacked by the responses here.

Of course the driver shouldn't drink. That wasn't the point. Are you honestly saying you'd let someone who had been drinking drive because, well, they shouldn't have been drinking so it's all on them?

Craziness

Yesicancancan · 21/04/2019 19:40

This has nothing to do with asuer bbq and Yabu to lecture others

multiplemum3 · 21/04/2019 19:40

So if I'm hosting a bbq I'm supposed to monitor everyones drink intake, take the keys off those who I feel have drunk more than two drinks amd organise a taxi for them? Aside from people thinking I'm a twat and probably losing friends for being a patronizing dick, how on earth is this achievable?

Yesicancancan · 21/04/2019 19:40

Summer

bigchris · 21/04/2019 19:45

I think it's great to raise awareness

Thanks op

ifeeltheneedtheneedforspeed · 21/04/2019 19:45

I cannot believe the responses on here!!
I would have thought any decent human being with any sense about them would step in when they knowingly see someone about to drink and drive, sadly a lot on this thread would turn a blind eye. shakes head in disbelief

magicstar1 · 21/04/2019 19:48

I took my friends keys from him one night after a christening where he’d been drinking all day. I told him if he got in the car I’d call the Gardaí and report him. He didn’t speak to me for six months after, but it was worth it to me. It’s only right to try to stop drink driving.

Spoddy · 21/04/2019 19:58

I cannot believe the responses on here!!

Well good for you. Because hosting a summer event really means preparing and serving food, having to monitor the alcohol consumption of numerous adults, try and remove keys, call taxis or arrange sleeping spots.

Theimpossiblegirl · 21/04/2019 20:03

Maybe it's just my circle but if we're hosting or attending a BBQ, there is always a discussion about driving so designated drivers may do an extra trip, or people may stay/pitch a tent.

It's just not worth getting behind the wheel if you've been drinking and I would challenge someone in this situation if I thought they were over the limit and attempting to drive.

BarrenFieldofFucks · 21/04/2019 20:08

If someone got drunk at my house I wouldn't let them behind the wheel of a car, no sane person would.

Bluelonerose · 21/04/2019 20:16

I don't see the harm with the host asking if their guests are ok getting back if they've been drinking.
No it's not the hosts responsibility but why wouldn't you double check if you knew someone had had a few drinks and was going to drive home?

ifeeltheneedtheneedforspeed · 21/04/2019 20:16

@Spoddy
No one is asking you to police your guests but surely if you happen to notice one of your guests about to drink and drive you would step in to convince them not to and to help them arrange an alternative. For their sake as much as others too!

Original poster

RomanyQueen1 · 21/04/2019 20:16

Aw, thanks to those who agree, not because they agree, but because I can't stop thinking about the dead woman and the seriously injured children, it was such a bad accident and totally avoidable.

It doesn't just have to be the host though, I meant be responsible and step in, perhaps tell their partner or parents suggesting they call the taxi or ask someone to take drinking person home.

OP posts:

canadianbanana · 21/04/2019 20:17

I realize drinking laws are different, but I know in my country, Canada, a host can be held responsible for a guest who overindulges. It may not be the case in the UK, but I’d check before sending a houseguest off in his/her vehicle if they’re drunk.

Biancadelrioisback · 21/04/2019 20:20

I think what OP means is if you see someone clearly intoxicated getting into their car rather than monitoring every person's drinking and either cutting them off or removing keys when you think they've had enough. If I can see or know someone is pissed and they indicate they are going to drive then I will try and stop them. I have threatened people with the police before and I will again. I don't care about losing friends in that situation, a real friend wouldn't hold it against you.
However, I am not going to play teacher to my friends and monitor their drinking.

Nofunkingworriesmate · 21/04/2019 20:20

My parents were killed by a drink driver, the next generation of children have missed out on fabulous grandparents
The drivers life was ruined too
Call a taxi or let them sleep on your sofa please

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