To ask if any alcohol loving drinking party animals who are now teetotal or practically teetotal their experiences?

[fortunatelynot]

Just that really.....I know this doesn't sound like a major thing but I used to love drinking and the socialising and partying that came with it throughout my teens, part of my twenties and thirties. A couple of years ago I got sick of the hangovers and feeling depressed after drinking and cut back. Dp and I have fallen into a leisurely stay at home more or less teetotal existence regarding our social life. I went out today to just have a few drinks in this beautiful weather and it made me feel weepy, tired and basically shit so I stopped.

This sounds really naff but as somebody whose life was partly defined (sad I know) by this lifestyle, I feel a bit, well, lost. Dp doesn't get why I even think about it and just says I must have come to a point in my life where I am just sick of it. He has cut back massively on his drinking BUT if he does have a drink, he enjoys it, wakes up hangover free the next day and all is good. I know I shouldn't give it another thought but I also know that it is on my mind as to why I have changed so drastically.

I have also learned ( sadly) that alcohol used to make me a bubbly, outgoing, carefree and energetic woman (at the time I was drinking it). Now, if I do go out in pubs etc, I feel withdrawn and anxious. I also feel a little nostalgic - when dp and I met, we met in a pub(!) and had some great times at the bar. I almost feel like I have lost that carefree aspect of our relationship.

I'm not sure where I am going with this but just wondered if anybody had had any similar experiences?

God, there are quite a few of us aren't there?!

I agree @holly873, I too would be disappointed if I was still into drinking now, I think it's quite sad now!

I was a big clubber back in the noughties; the other week on Facebook I saw one of my favourite DJs was playing at one of my old haunts and for the first time ever I thought to myself 'thank fuck I'm too old for that!'

Just a theory - do you think we are the products of that party time/nightclub time??

It's interesting to wonder about the wider social influences, I often think I had disordered drinking because of childhood trauma and a way to cope with the emotional pain, so as quite an individual thing, but it wasn't that I drank alone it was all going out binge drinking, and it felt like pretty much everyone else was doing it too, I think particularly working in London it was normal to go to the pub straight from work two or three nights a week and stay there pretty much til last orders.

Like a PP I feel I've gone back to my pre-drinking teenage self in terms of my interests. I always thought I wouldn't feel like me if I gave up the mad party lifestyle, but actually I feel much more like myself and regret the years I spent partying and it's possible effects on my physical health.

I’m exactly the same, would never have seen the day I wouldn’t love a session.
Had it all planned that when my kids were older I would have boozy weekends .

Alcohol now gives me migraines and wicked hangovers.

I was in a pub today and had one drink, we came home and I opened another, didn’t drink a drop.

I need to come up with a new plan!!
I’m 43 so a similar age to ye.

I was the big drinker/party animal that you describe in your OP. I'm now pregnant, due soon and went teetotal whilst TTC so it's been a long time since I had a drink.

I think feeling anxious/withdrawn at the pub will fade away with time. It will gradually become more normal to you and you will feel confident again in these settings as you lose that feeling that something is missing.

Regarding the stuff about you and DP at the bar getting drunk together and having a giggle... I totally understand where you're coming from. My DH and I used to do lots of this. Also sometimes when he finished a long stint of night shifts I'd get lots of nice booze in, favourite snacks, and we'd get absolutely blotto by ourselves at home and have a fantastic night, watching old films, dancing to loud music, chatting about the meaning of life, and it usually ended up in clumsy but fun sex and then a long lie in the next day. To be honest I haven't found a replacement for this so I don't have much advice. I think we're gradually getting used to not doing this anymore and we do still have fun together, it's just a different kind of fun. And we still dance to loud music and watch old films together, we're just not drunk while we do it. It's still an enjoyable experience

I was like you OP - party animal in my late teens, 20s and early 30s. Then I noticed my hangovers seemed to get worse, so I drank less, then I had kids and never really drank at all (breastfeeding, sleep deprived, couldn’t face child care with a hangover). DCs are now 10 and 13, and I probability average about 5 units per year!

If I drink now I feel fine after half a glass, but more than that gives me heartburn, makes me feel headachy, and gives me an awful hangover. So I just don’t bother.

But yesterday I could smell barbecues all around me, and I could hear people laughing in nearby gardens, and I felt slightly nostalgic for the drunken summer parties of my youth.

But I’m happy as I am. I hear my contemporaries (we’re all late 40s or early 50s) talking about big nights out, embarrassing themselves, throwing up, feeling like death for 2 days afterwards, and I think how much I would hate to go back to that .

thank you all for your responses, it is very interesting to hear about other people's experiences.

Whoops75 - I had it all planned out too! Ironically since ds left school, I've hardly had a drink!

Pregnantsea - dp and I have had some wonderful boozy times.

For me, alcohol used to be fine and actually relax me. For somebody who has always worked really hard and am a very busy person, it was actually an advantage in my life (or so it seemed). I obviously know that logically that isn't the case due to its ill effects but my feelings towards it as well has made me do a full about turn which is just taking some getting used to.

I drank enough for a nation until I realised it had all got rather out of hand and I was turning off into my alcoholic Dad.

I have been tee total for 10 years and don't miss it at all. DH joined me 6 months ago. The one thing I miss is having a dance. I take full advantage of each and every opportunity to dance like I'm drunk at weddings, 40th bdays etc

My friends and dh are similar so I’d say we’ll
fall into a new way of partying together.
I definitely see myself having a drink too many in the future and suffering the consequences.

I stopped drinking abut 2.5 years ago. I was a daily drinker, with a large capacity for drink (never had a hang over though) but I still love pub culture, still go to the pub once or twice a week, I am the default driver these days though .

Was a massive drinker starting at13-throughout secondary school4nights a week clubbing&eventually raves(alcoholic parents so masses of freedom to come&go)held downPT job,arrested&cautioned 6times in 2years for drunk&disorderly,lifting cans&bottles from local Spar toorder etc..got thruGCSES&Alevels onto uni&raves..carried on binge drinking/black outs,then as i started working abroad&travelling literally for10 years it kind of just faded away from the massive binges&all nighters to work drinks/meets-then had DC&ended up lone parent-stopped drinking as felt like i was heading into familiar territory-(goin down a rabbit hole back into early90's but as my mum)Excitedly bought a load of cocktail mixers&spirits few years back for an Xmas do&they just gathered dust so gave them away..never miss it as i feel a bit reborn since i emigrated years ago&set up a business&left scene behind.Bloody fantastic memories tho,a few scars&tons of pictures 😂

@BlueJava
Thank you I will look into this