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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think this is a bit strange? (ex MIL)

41 replies

Pippa489 · 21/04/2019 12:54

Ok hands up.. with too much time on my hands the past few days, I looked up my EXH on FB and saw that he recently got married again. I saw that the EXMIL was wearing a stranded necklace with matching earrings, the very same one that I made for her to wear to match her outfit at my own wedding to her son over 10 years ago (I make jewellery as my FT job). It is a distinct six stranded pearl and crystal necklace. I just found it odd she would wear it again to her sons wedding with the earrings, particularly more so as I made it... her EXDIL and we never really got on too well.

OP posts:
Birdie6 · 21/04/2019 12:57

Maybe she just likes it ? That's all I can think . I'd take it as a compliment.

NoSauce · 21/04/2019 12:58

She obviously doesn’t hold any sentimental value to the jewellery but still likes them.
Not sure that it warrants much head space if I’m honest!

HairycakeLinehan · 21/04/2019 12:58

I’m not sentimental about these things so I don’t find it odd.
It’s also a compliment to your work as she obviously really likes it!

MRex · 21/04/2019 13:00

She might just really like it and not even remember that you made it. Why were you Facebook stalking though? It can't be entirely out of the blue, had you heard something about him?

RosamundDarnley · 21/04/2019 13:00

Maybe she doesn't attach any sentiment to things.
Maybe she just likes it.

EL8888 · 21/04/2019 13:01

Strange and odd. I wonder if her new DIL knows 😂

BlueMerchant · 21/04/2019 13:03

You're not looking at it as a 'sign' are you?
Looking up your ExH.... seeing the necklace and earrings....
Wink

DianaPrincessOfThemyscira · 21/04/2019 13:05

I don’t see how this is weird? I still wear costume jewellery my ex boyfriend bought me, I like it and it goes with my outfit? What you made is obviously wedding appropriate.

FrogFairy · 21/04/2019 13:09

She probably just really likes it and it sounds too posh for everyday wear.

DisplayPurposesOnly · 21/04/2019 13:10

No, it's not strange. It's just jewellery that goes with her outfit.

sammylady37 · 21/04/2019 13:22

I have a few necklace that an ex bought me, I wear them often, it doesn’t mean anything.

Sugarformyhoney · 21/04/2019 13:27

Lol her new DIL should find it weird!

Original poster
Pippa489 · 21/04/2019 13:29

I think it's the circumstances.. the fact it's a wedding, that her exdil made it, the fact it stands out (the style and colours) so is a bit of a statement piece of jewellery. I just thought it was a bit disrespectful IMO under the circumstances. I was just surprised to see it TBH.

OP posts:
pessimisticstateofperception · 21/04/2019 13:34

Someone gives her a gift she likes, she uses it more than once. Why on earth is it disrespectful 😂

Should everything to do with you have been burned when you split up?

sammylady37 · 21/04/2019 13:37

Disrespectful? To whom? You? Her new DIL? Or her son?

I really don’t see the issue, I have to say.

It’s entirely possible she doesn’t even remember that you made the necklace for your wedding - obviously you remember because you made it, it’s your line of work and it was your wedding, but it won’t have had the same significance for her, and it was years ago. I’m struggling to remember what outfit I wore to my DSis wedding, let alone what jewellery.

Original poster
Pippa489 · 21/04/2019 13:40

I didn't give it as a gift, I designed it to go with her wedding outfit at the time.

OP posts:
Peakypolly · 21/04/2019 13:42

I wonder if it is a little passive aggressive to new DIL?

Alsohuman · 21/04/2019 13:44

It’s jewellery. Should she have thrown it away?

GarthFunkel · 21/04/2019 13:48

Perhaps she's going to wear it to all of her son's weddings Grin Did you have any overlapping guests that might have noticed? Apparently Kevin Clifton used the same speech at his 2nd and 3rd weddings.

donquixotedelamancha · 21/04/2019 13:49

I didn't give it as a gift

Was it a loan then?

I just thought it was a bit disrespectful IMO under the circumstances.

To whom? It's not your wedding and I doubt her new DiL is so insecure as to be worried about her wearing something you made.

If you think she did it to, in some way, insult you on the off chance you see the wedding photos then you have hugely distorted expectations of how much a former DiL will figure in her sartorial choices.

Original poster
Pippa489 · 21/04/2019 13:53

Ok I found it strange, I guess I'm in the minority! I didn't expect her to bin it but to wear it again to her son's second wedding. I guess IABU to think it's just a bit 'off'!

OP posts:
TestingTestingWonTooFree · 21/04/2019 13:56

If I was the second wife I might find it a bit odd, but I don’t think you should be marked about it.

LagunaBubbles · 21/04/2019 13:58

What do you mean you didn't give it to her as a gift? Did she buy t from you then?

NoSauce · 21/04/2019 14:12

Did she buy it off you?

Mapril · 21/04/2019 14:19

I think you’ve already given it way more thought than she did.

Honestly, I wouldn’t have given it a second thought