AIBU to think this is a bit strange? (ex MIL)

[Pippa489]

Ok hands up.. with too much time on my hands the past few days, I looked up my EXH on FB and saw that he recently got married again. I saw that the EXMIL was wearing a stranded necklace with matching earrings, the very same one that I made for her to wear to match her outfit at my own wedding to her son over 10 years ago (I make jewellery as my FT job). It is a distinct six stranded pearl and crystal necklace. I just found it odd she would wear it again to her sons wedding with the earrings, particularly more so as I made it... her EXDIL and we never really got on too well.

Sorry, I mean if I was the one wearing it I wouldn’t have given it a thought, other than ‘does this look good?’

I wouldn't find it strange that she was wearing the jewellery in a general sort of way, but I would find it odd that she was wearing things made by her son's first wife for use at his first wedding at his second wedding. I bet the new wife doesn't know!

Of course it's a bit weird but if she's getting on a bit she's probably forgot you even gave it to her

I can imagine the thread from the new DIL's pov! I'm surprised someone would wear a piece of jewellery made for a wedding to the same son's second wedding. That's a bit odd to me, but mostly as I think i'd be far too worried that the new wife would see it as some sort of symbol or sign of dislike.

More ageism. It’s bloody rife on MN.

I think it’s a bit strange Op.

Odd, but you could consider you made a great set if she's still wearing it. I assume she has worn it inbetween and loves it.

If it was something I loved, I'd wear it. I bought wedding shoes when engaged to my ex & used them for my wedding to current dh. Meh.

OP, my exH married the OW and they went to the same place for their honeymoon as we did, the Maldives. I thought that was a bit odd! It’s crap but just be glad your out of that shit show.

*you’re

I expect she’s wearing it because she likes it and it goes with her dress.
Can’t quite see where respect comes into it.

her EXDIL and we never really got on too well.

perhaps she doesnt get on with the new DIL either and its a massive FU to her. My DM HATED all my sisters exes. But the minute theyre gone she tells the next victim how amazing the ex was. She even moved one of my sisters exes in with her (and my DF) when he was in between houses. My sister and her new boyfriend (now husband) found it mega awkward and had to stay away from the house for 6 months.

No but I think the necklace sounds magnificent and that she loves it.

Perhaps it’s the universe telling you that history can never fully be erased and you’re gone but not forgotten.

I think the new partner would be displeased if she knew.

Please Pm me link to your business if you feel like, it sounds amazing.

I think the bigger issue in all of this are your feelings. What are you really searching for ? Sounds like your are deflecting your feelings onto your MIl. It is really hard to go through this, it may be worth exploring this, they were a massive part of your life.

Relationships are complex, situational and have multifactoral. They can really impact your self esteem though. Remember there are so many factors why this didn’t work, There are plenty of lovable, wonderful people that get divorced for a multitude of reasons, you are lovable and worth someone wonderful.

She's probably wearing it because she likes it. I've got jewellery I've long forgotten the provenance of.

I don't think it's any more "odd" than looking up pictures of your ex's wedding and closely examining the jewellery his mother is wearing to be honest.

Three possibilities:-

1. She’s forgotten it came from you and was just searching through her jewellery box for something that matched her new outfit.
2. She knows it came from you but doesn’t care because it looks good on her.
3. She knows it came from you and is wearing it to wind up the new wife.

That is a positive, she really loved what you made, I would think nothing else but that.