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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

DP annoyed that I didn’t get him an Easter egg

38 replies

Eastermoaner · 21/04/2019 08:48

Been with DP 3 years. The last 2 I’ve got him an Easter egg. He’s never bought me me but I’m really not that arsed - I’m an adult in my late 30’s and it’s a bloody chocolate egg so I couldn’t care less if I got one or not.

I have 2 kids from a previous relationship and have just had a baby 2 weeks ago. I had a pretty bad birth and haven’t been too well since. The baby is completely consuming my time and I also had to sort the Easter eggs for the other 2 kids so it completely slipped my mind to get him an egg this year.

I got up with this kids this morning to give them their eggs and a few little Easter activities (while he lay in bed) afterwards, the kids came in and gave me an egg they said it was from them and DP. I went into the bedroom and thanked him for the egg and apologised that I’d completely forgotten to get him an egg this year. He gave me this look and said “eh, ok. I was looking forward to eating a bit of chocolate but it doesn’t matter” in a really snide tone. I explained my mind has been on other things and I genuinely forgot and all I got was “it’s fine”

So I went into the sitting room, got the egg he gave me, went into the bedroom, sat it on the bedside cabinet and told him to knock himself out and eat as much chocolate as he wanted. He didn’t answer me.

I honestly feel quite pissed off about this. I don’t even want the egg he got me now after his reaction. AIBU?

OP posts:

SauvingnonBlanketyBlanc · 21/04/2019 08:50

Just ignore the sulking.Seems a weird thing to be bothered about.

MarthasGinYard · 21/04/2019 08:51

Ignore

Lazy arse

TreadingThePrimrosePath · 21/04/2019 08:56

Yet another woman putting up with a sulky lazy arse. You’ve just had a baby. I’d be expecting breakfast in bed, an egg of my own and a partner having organised a meal or six.

Littlebluebird123 · 21/04/2019 08:57

Whilst it's understandable you forgot (as you have a few other things on your mind 😉), you didn't forget the kids. And so, he probably feels lower on your priority list. You've done it for the previous two years but not this year.
Then you took the egg he'd got for you and said he could have it. Which could be interpreted as you giving him his present back as it doesn't matter.
I understand that he's not being particularly grown up in his response but it sounds like he doesn't feel appreciated by you.
It's so hard when you have little ones as they are all consuming, and I genuinely don't think men often get it as they aren't the ones who have a baby literally attached to them all the time!
So whilst it seems like an over reaction, it's more likely a response to your current relationship than a chocolate egg.
I guess in this instance you're both being a bit u.

dementedpixie · 21/04/2019 09:00

I bought my own and dh's and the kids. That way I got to choose the one I wanted

Drogosnextwife · 21/04/2019 09:01

And so, he probably feels lower on your priority list.

Yeah, that's because he is because that's what happens when you have kids and it's just tuff shit. He is an adult and he needs to grow up. Don't make excuses for a man child that couldn't even be bothered to get up for Easter morning with the children.

Original poster

Eastermoaner · 21/04/2019 09:03

little

I took the egg he got for me and told him to eat it as he seemed more arsed about an Easter egg than me.

And the not feeling appreciated by me part - I literally do everything in terms of housework, meals and looking after the kids so I’d say it’s him that doesn’t appreciate me, not the other way about!

OP posts:

DocusDiplo · 21/04/2019 09:04

Incredible. Absolutely incredible.

EleanorLavish · 21/04/2019 09:05

The OP has literally done nothing wrong here. And to tell her that she is equally responsible for a sulky grown up over a bloody chocolate egg is disgusting.
As mentioned above he should be up, organising the older kids and the day ahead, not whining about chocolate.
Who was up with the baby all night, out of interest?

ElloBrian · 21/04/2019 09:05

He sounds like a massive arse I’m afraid.

AlphaJura · 21/04/2019 09:07

I've bought dp an egg and have for the past 3 years because when we got together he admitted he hadn't had an Easter egg since he was a kid. And he does like chocolate. He wouldn't care or notice if I didn't though. I've bought the DCs eggs. I don't think dp has ever bought me an Easter egg but tbh it's probably because I'm not a massive chocolate fan so it really doesn't bother me. It's for kids really! If your dp wants some chocolate he can always go to the shop and buy some.

Original poster

Eastermoaner · 21/04/2019 09:07

eleanor

I am - he’s done 1 night feed since the baby’s been born

OP posts:

hidinginthenightgarden · 21/04/2019 09:07

I thought you were going to say you didn't get him an egg because he never gets you one. That I think is justified and possibly deep down the reason you "forgot" whilst buying eggs for everyone else. You clearly feel like he doesn't appreciate you.
Personally I think he should have bought you a shop of chocolate eggs for carrying and delivering his baby!

Whatsnewpussyhat · 21/04/2019 09:08

You had a bad birth 2 weeks ago and the sulky man child wants a chocolate egg?

AuditAngel · 21/04/2019 09:09

He clearly isn’t pulling his weight. Let h8m sulk, and take your egg back.

notacooldad · 21/04/2019 09:09

I'd tell him to grow the fuck up and put his face straight if I was in your shoes!

Whatsnewpussyhat · 21/04/2019 09:09

And my DP would have sorted the other kids eggs etc too.

Wonkydonkey44 · 21/04/2019 09:10

He’s an idiot. Give him the baby , sit down open the Easter egg and eat it all you deserve it

NaomifromMilkshake · 21/04/2019 09:10

You have a reason, you both have.

My tit of a DH does not.

Mintandthyme · 21/04/2019 09:10

I am - he’s done 1 night feed since the baby’s been born

More fool you then.
Is this going to be the way he is for the future?

ricepuddingme · 21/04/2019 09:13

Jesus it's a bloody Easter egg?!

You're 2 weeks pp too. He needs to grow the hell up and quickly!

Me and my husband don't do gifts to each other at these times of year. If we want an Easter egg we'll just nip to the shop and buy one.
Egg hunting and exchanging is for the children surely?

pudcat · 21/04/2019 09:15

He should have bought the kids' eggs not you, just having given birth. Miserable selfish and lazy.

timeisnotaline · 21/04/2019 09:20

Op take your egg back. Say ok second thoughts I need this much more as the one recovering from a birth while doing all night wake ups. And as far as you’re concerned the Easter bunny died. You’re not one of my children, you’re supposed to be parenting with me and I’m seeing fuck all parenting from you.

Littlebluebird123 · 21/04/2019 09:32

Eastermoaner
I get it, honestly. I've got 4. My DH can be absolutely amazing most of the time and a self centred idiot sometimes. Sulking over what I would consider nothing.
Yes, he should step up more.
But that's not what your aibu was about.
This is the first time he's been a parent. Yes it means he is lower in priorities, but he's not had that before. He needs to get used to it.
But what I read in your op was him feeling unloved and unappreciated and you feel it too.
You need to talk about these things. I don't want to sound patronising so I apologise.
People ranting about how he should do more doesn't help. Yes, he should. Yes he shouldn't be sulking. But you also need to talk to him and discuss splitting chores, him helping etc.
If this continues, it can break a couple. And you'll just build in resentment.
I didn't want to minimise his sulking but wanted to point out it was unlikely to be just because of an egg. Just as your annoyance is not really because he's sulking, but because you think he has no reason to sulk as you're doing everything.

Chloemol · 21/04/2019 09:34

So now he knows what it was like for the two years he didn’t get you one. Tell him you already have three children you don’t need another.

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