Genuinely not sure if IABU.
Backstory is i've been friends with this woman since our kids were babies - so about 7 years. Met at a baby group and had a friend in common. Friend had PND, which I suggested at the time only to be sharply told I was 'catastrophising' by her. Didn't mention it again but was supportive in whichever way I could be. She has recently admitted she probably did have it. We've both had various struggles and become single mum's since then; her ex is around and she has family in the same town. My ex isn't and my sole family member lives miles away, so less support.
Recently we got together and I had said I was feeling emotionally delicate (mainly issues with money, low confidence, no job prospects and lack of direction). We met up, I made dinner and found things for kids to do. We had some wine and got chatting. She managed to say in the conversation that I always think of the worst option and go with it. I was a bit hurt tbh as it's not as if I am not trying and the reason I felt delicate was because it has been hard, not that I haven't even tried because it would be hard. However I brushed over it and acted fine because I do sometimes spiral with anxiety and thought she could have a point and tried to take it as advice/constructive criticism.
Anyway this last week she has been low and was messaging me that all she can think to do is drink. There was an issue with a man turning her down and stress in her workplace. I invited her over for dinner.
I cooked what I could in advance. She turned up 45mins late and barely apologised. She bought her kid, who she had said would be with her mum. I like him, but my daughter struggles a bit as they get on but have few shared interests. So that was kick No. 1. actually adding the late 1&2.
We sit in the sun and she has some of the wine I bought. She immediately asks how much I spent on it and calls me a 'cheapskate'. We are both single parents and my income is low as she well knows. I brush it off at the time but now see that as kick No.3.
We talk about her issues and try to put the world to rights. I go in and finish off the cooking, despite her saying they ate before they got here - kick No. 4 as I messaged her at 10am asking if what I was going to cook was OK. Had already left it half an hour past our usual dinner time as her son had said he wasn't hungry. It seems they were late because they ate en route in town 
.
I serve up and she immediately says "it's cold!" and insists on microwaving it. Had done rice for kids in advance but cauliflower rice for us as she is very concerned about her weight. Doing both meant the rice wasn't steaming but the chicken was... so of course I say "Oh no! Yes do microwave it, sorry!" - kids are tucking in regardless and it's fine for me. Maybe I'm just taking umbridge in hindsight but that was rude I thought, so K5.
She sits to eat and pushes it around her plate a bit. Suggests cauliflower rice isn't as nice as she had thought it might be. Leaves half of her chicken - K6. Kids polish it all off as do I.
We go back outside into the evening sun and do egg hunt for kids that I bought chocolates and eggs for. I bring out a choc egg from Aldi I got for myself for us to have while kids eat theirs. It was pretty grim tbh and I said "Ugh, sorry for the horrid chocolate, Aldi is usually pretty good but I can't eat it!" she then went on about how the kids had M&S mini wrapped eggs and I tried to feed her the rubbish Aldi chocolate! I had explained it was actually my egg for Easter, which I don't even usually do, but I wanted to share it with her... felt that was a bit rude too so K6.
We then talked about holidays we'd like to do with the kids and a mutual friend who lives abroad. Got the distinct impression she didn't want to make plans with us and she kept saying "we won't be as organised as you usually are you know, no advance planning or anything". Then tried to railroad me into going on holiday with her and her ex instead! I have spent 7 years listening to how horrid this man is and why she would want to go away with him is strange to me. I manage to wriggle out of it as I fear she merely wants me to bear witness to his odd parenting or to share the 'load'.
She then talks about her dream holiday - not likely to happen in next 5 years and v. expensive. I mentioned that the area is volitile atm and I personally would be a bit scared to go there. She immediately snapped at me "thanks for completely shutting down any hope I had for my ideal holiday situation with you incessant worst case scenario attitude. FGS!"
I was 
as it was pretty forceful and went quiet for a few seconds tried to explain I wasn't trying to be negative but she repeated the same over me. Kick 7. I changed the subject and we moved on.
She goes on to say I am basically ruled by my daughter and whatever she says goes. I am not a "shouty" parent like she is. I am very calm and only shout when I really need to. DD and I have a good relationship but recently she is being more defiant and I had confident it is challenging at times. This felt like she was using it against me and I said actually I do tell her off and cited something just this morning - she smirked at me and insisted that was "nothing" (K7). About 10 mins after this she declares her taxi is outside and they rush off! She hadn't event told me she had booked a taxi (thought she was being rude looking at her phone tbh!).
So, AIBU to feel that it was a bit of a shitshow, despite my efforts, and my friend has been U?