Guest who is fasting coming for dinner

[learieonthewildmoor]

My brother-in-law’s mother is coming for Easter dinner tomorrow night. She is fasting for Orthodox Christian Easter; so won’t eat meat, dairy or olive oil.

Every year I make vegetarian dishes made with vegetable oil for her, which she recoils from in horror and doesn’t eat. She then eats the lamb and the halloumi salad and the pumpkin roasted in olive oil, and makes comments about how bad she feels about breaking her fast, and what a shame it is there was no food for her.

If I skip making the vegetarian dishes this year, am I being a bad host?

"For those wondering why I invite her: most of the time she just shows up. She assumes that any invite including her son includes her too."

Well that's just weird. If she staying with your Sis and BIL over Easter and you invite them while she's staying, then they are going to ask if they can bring her along, surely? And if she's not staying with them over Easter then there's no need for her to assume anything or even to know about the invitation.

If she's genuinely just coming along without being invited then you need to speak to your Sis and BIL about it. That's rude. But I imagine it's more like ' learie I take it it's okay to bring MIL as usual on Easter Sunday because she'll be on her own otherwise.' And you say 'yeah fine.'

Clearly you do expect her and therefore must in some loose way invite her, or at least agree in advance to her being there or you wouldn't be making special dishes for her.

Play her at her own game, tell her the priest has given her a dispensation (OK I'm thinking of this from an RC point of view so it might not wash) to eat what the rest of the family are eating.

I told my husband I wanted to make a rice salad for her, and he cracked it! He says if she's coming, she can eat what we're offering. "If she doesn't like it, she can stop coming!" My hero!
Then he rang his sister, who says m-i-l is not fasting.
She's done that before. Said she's not fasting and then showed up saying she is fasting.
It's all a bit Games of Thrones for me.
Have decided we will have mojitos before dinner. Mojitos make difficult people so much easier to deal with.

She can eat fish becased meal. Doesnt have to be outright veggie

We definitely need an update when fussy bugger turns up.

Why can’t you tell your sister and bil not to bring her? Or tell her she’s not invited? This is your home.

Pumpkin tastes better roasted in rapeseed oil

She lies about fasting? Why would you do that!?

Mojitos will definitely help

Mojitos a great idea.
I also want to know what she eats this time😀

Rice salad sounds wonderful, by the way, as does tomato and basil

I would honestly just ask her what she'd like and say something like "I seem to have got it wrong on previous years". Let her tell you what sort of things are acceptable.

OP your husband is a star!
Please update this thread with the reaction of the CF mil when she arrrives and is not being pandered to.

@motheroftinydragons
Did you not read the OP?

Silly me, I thought that 'fasting' meant not eating at all.

Sit her in front of an empty plate - this is proper 'fasting.'

She's just being awkward and if she huffs and puffs about there not being any food which is suitable for her I'd pointedly not invite her again. Has she not disappeared up her own backside yet? Or stay at home.
She could at least be honest about not fasting properly and say thank you for your efforts.

If she is fasting she shouldn't be eating meat or fish but can have shellfish, no eggs or dairy, no olive oil.
If she's making a fuss for attention, and the main problem you have with this is that the food goes to waste, then why not touch base this morning and ask which dishes from your list she will eat? That way the irritation is up front. If she still insists on not fasting then your conscience is completely clear and she's made that decision. Frankly salad is a bit drab for a dinner party unless its alongside something else, even if its a lovely salad.
orthodox fasting recipes
Yemista recipe from pp but you'll need to swap out the EVOO

Please update us after her thrilling visit OP!

I would tell this uninvited guest to bring her own main.

Just speak to her directly and ask what she’d like to eat.

Does your sister think it's normal that her husband's mother shows up to all your events?

Iceland do amazing 'no bull' vegan meats.

It's not about the food and the only way to win is not to play the game, which I think you've already worked out.

So yes, just make food that you'll eat anyway and smile indulgently through a gentle mojito haze when she asks for more lamb.

BILs mother is extremely rude. I would never complain like that. DH and I were invited to a barbecue yesterday. I am RC (dh isn’t) so abstain from meat on Good Friday. I just offered to make a pasta salad as a side dish, which was gratefully accepted. As far as I was concerned I would just eat this and ignore meat offerings. Luckily prawn skewers were first thing on barbecue . Ate a couple of those and salad. And no one noticed I didn’t eat any meat.

You could take it as a twisted compliment - she clearly bloody loves your cooking, even if she has to the herself in knots to seem to do so reluctantly.

Why have you allowed her to just keep showing up uninvited all these years?

What a CF.

AnneLovesGilbert you can buy lactose free cheese.

Why not just laugh along with her conspiratorialy? Who here hasn't held a value they aimed for and missed? Prepare a display amount of food that meets her ideal and turn a blind eye when she eats the other things.