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Original poster

Guest who is fasting coming for dinner

139 replies

learieonthewildmoor · 19/04/2019 19:16

My brother-in-law’s mother is coming for Easter dinner tomorrow night. She is fasting for Orthodox Christian Easter; so won’t eat meat, dairy or olive oil.

Every year I make vegetarian dishes made with vegetable oil for her, which she recoils from in horror and doesn’t eat. She then eats the lamb and the halloumi salad and the pumpkin roasted in olive oil, and makes comments about how bad she feels about breaking her fast, and what a shame it is there was no food for her.

If I skip making the vegetarian dishes this year, am I being a bad host?

OP posts:
gamerchick · 19/04/2019 19:45

Why are you hosting your brother in laws’s mother for Easter every year.?

Kinda wondering that myself Grin . Are we supposed to adopt all the families to infinity when we get married?

IHateUncleJamie · 19/04/2019 19:47

If you aren't willing to cater for her at least tell her in advance so that she can bring her own food or choose not to come at all. I think it's a pretty poor host who doesn't cater to her guests dietary requirements whether it be for health or religious reasons.

Heh? Did you read the OP’s full post? Confused

Op How rude of this person to turn her nose up at food you provided. I would buy a vegan ready meal as pps have suggested and plate it up for her. If she’s a CF again then either don’t invite her again or ask her to bring her own (suitable) food.

TapasForTwo · 19/04/2019 19:47

Why no olive oil?

Ohtherewearethen · 19/04/2019 19:49

It appears many of you have misread or misinterpreted the OP. It is absolutely nothing like expecting a Jewish person to eat pork!
The OP states that she made a vegetarian, olive-oil free dish suitable for this lady's fasting requirements but she chose to ignore that and instead tuck into all the other dishes OP had prepared for those who weren't fasting.
OP, she sounds extremely rude and ungrateful. She's obviously only pretending to fast to keep up appearances. I wouldn't invite her again to be honest. Very bad manners.

lljkk · 19/04/2019 19:49

I hope you ask her what you should prepare for her.

And I hope she doesn't kick the ball back to you with some vague comment like "Oh don't' make a fuss over me." which is no answer at all.
And then tell us what she said you should make, & what she actually ate.

WhereYouLeftIt · 19/04/2019 19:52

Liking your style, Sexnotgender Grin.

Aeroflotgirl · 19/04/2019 19:52

She is very rude, she can bring her own then!

TheInvestigator · 19/04/2019 19:53

@motheroftinydragons

Did you even read It? OP does cater for this woman but she ignores those dishes and eats everything else... then complains there was nothing she could have without breaking her fast! There is, she just wants to eat the other stuff so why should OP continue to waste food by making something the guest won't eat!

Halloumimuffin · 19/04/2019 19:53

Ask her what she wants, then when she refuses it, say very loudly that oh, I made this just for you because you told me that's what you wanted. If she's awkward she gets to look rude.

WhereYouLeftIt · 19/04/2019 19:53

I wonder what BIL's mother would do if you sat everyone down to food suitable for her fast?

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 19/04/2019 19:54

My DMum did similar - she wasm't eating dairy so I made a birthday cake with one of the dairy free spreads . Not as nice as butter or Stork and the cake was quite crumbly so a pain to ice . Also didn't keep as well/

We went out for a meal , she had apple pie (butter in pastry) and ice-cream ( milk/cream) . "I just eat a raw cooking apple" she said to overcome the effects Confused . I could've made a 'normal' cake and she could've done her cooking apple remedy !

HarveySchlumpfenburger · 19/04/2019 19:54

I think I’d either do what’s lljk says or ask her to bring something herself.

I don’t see much point in continuing as you are. If she’s going to complain about you not providing anything suitable even if you do, then you might as well not bother.

timeisnotaline · 19/04/2019 19:58

I am a big fan of sexnotgenders approach. I do know I wouldn’t slave over anything unless I was going to make a big effort to have her actually eat it!

ReanimatedSGB · 19/04/2019 19:59

She's an attention-seeking cunt, isn't she? Some PP seem to have missed the fact that OP does provide appropriate food, and the cunt ignores it, eats the 'inappropriate' food and then whines.

Some people are like this. Just laugh and remind her she did it last year and will probably do it next year.

(And, BTW, if you are fasting for superstitious reasons, it's not really very polite to go out to dinner at someone else's house anyway.)

VanGoghsDog · 19/04/2019 20:01

Make the whole meal meat, dairy and olive oil free for everyone......

watermelonlove · 19/04/2019 20:04

@learieonthewildmoor just get her a bowl of fruit and vegGrin she can't complain about that! Clearly has no self control 😂

Good luck OP! I'd be tempted to point out to her that she's obviously very weak willed & difficult.

Ellenborough · 19/04/2019 20:04

Every year I make vegetarian dishes made with vegetable oil for her, which she recoils from in horror and doesn’t eat..... and makes comments about ....what a shame it is there was no food for her.

Really? Do people honestly do this sort of thing? Confused

Stop hosting her. She doesn't need to be there, she's only your brother in law's mother. Just don't invite her again. Job done.

Boysey45 · 19/04/2019 20:04

I'd get her 2 Greggs Vegan sausage rolls a quid each, she can have those with vegetables etc.

Cherrysoup · 19/04/2019 20:05

Stop inviting her!

watermelonlove · 19/04/2019 20:05

@motheroftinydragons The OP DID cater for her last year though and the MIL broke her fast willingly simply because she's either fussy or weak willed. That's not a religious fast, she's probably trying to get attention by saying she's doing it.

watermelonlove · 19/04/2019 20:07

@VanGoghsDog why should everyone else suffer though?Hmm
And I say that a veggie myself.

CupOhTea · 19/04/2019 20:07

I’d also ask her what she would like. Or do a salad for her with a few boiled eggs or chickpeas or something.

IncrediblySadToo · 19/04/2019 20:11

Ready meal. Serve it on a plate at her place at the table. No spare plate. Do NOT let her get away with blaming you for her breaking her ‘fast’

I know you HAVE cooked for her, but even if you hadn’t she doesn’t need to eat things that she shouldn’t. She could miss a meal and would if she was serious about it.

I’m vegetarian, when there is nothing I can eat, I don’t eat. I don’t eat a plate of meat and blame the host.

Yorkshirelady · 19/04/2019 20:14

I have never met this woman, but I have absolutely no patience for her. You are a bloody saint for putting up with this shit every year! She is clearly attempting to transfer her guilt to you because she is so greedy she can't even achieve the goals that she has set for herself. I'd play her at her own game....buy a suitable microwave meal and only make enough 'nice' food for the rest of the guests....when she complains, tell her to fuck off. Bad host (I know) but for goodness sake? When does this crap end??????? Next year? The year after????? She probably lives for this moment every year so that she can see you squirm....well don't allow it this year! Slap a Carrot on her plate and tell her to do one!

Sagelistener · 19/04/2019 20:19

She seems hard work, but out of curiosity- what vegetarian dishes did you make for her?