Extremely loud kids& parents upstairs?!

[Notamumxxx19]

Ok so I’m not a parent, myself, my sister and my best friend moved into our ground floor flat 6 months ago (we’re all young professionals in our 20s) and love our flat! But we have been SUFFERING at the noise levels of our upstairs neighbours. They’re a family of 4 with both kids under 5. I can’t begin to describe the banging, stamping, SCREAMING, shouting that comes from above us. It physically reduced me to tears one weekend morning after a long working week in the city getting up at 6am every morning (which I have to listen to them at that time too) and getting home about 6/7/8pm (to which I’m greeted by more noise from them). It’s so awful, aside from the kids screaming, crying, jumping and shouting I hear taps, light switches, drawers being shut etc. We’ve never once complained because we understand they’re kids and thats what kids do...
however I recall one evening me and my boyfriend went up and knocked on their door out of sheer concern from the screaming. Honestly it sounded like the kid was in horrible pain. The mum answered and told us her 4 year old was just throwing a tantrum because she couldn’t watch TV... not once did we hear a parent shouting at this screaming? I took the opportunity to politely tell her “we can hear everything to wanted to make sure she’s ok”.

After that the noise kept coming with no real follow of an authoritive parent being heard to stop the jumping/banging/running. It’s Becoming more frustrating for all three of us as my sister works shifts (with the police lol). We’ve had 2 parties within 6 months and for one of them the music stopped and we were out the flat by 9.30pm to go elsewhere.
Don’t get me started on night time noise. My bedroom is right underneath the parents bedroom and I hear EVERYTHING! IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. I’ve had to bang on the ceiling to shut them up at 1am. The kids will then start crying at 2/3am after the parents have had some fun.. ITS AWFUL.
So the final straw this morning (bank holiday) it was 8am and all three of us were woken up by horrendous banging and stomping honestly I thought they would come through the roof, it wasn’t aggressive or anything though the kids are obviously playing lions with the dad because he’s running about too roaring and shouting? At 8am on my bank holiday weekend? I go back to sleep and I’m woken up a second time at 9.3am by the same racket. I DONT GET A GOOD SLEEP BECAUSE THEY MAKE SO MUCH NOISE!!! So I wrote a note and posted it through their letterbox, basically saying “the floorboards are very thin and we always hear everything. You’ve just woken the three of us up again, please be more considerate of noises and banging.”
The mum’s just come down and said that she doesn’t appreciate a note through the door, and that we’ve already complained about her child screaming a few months ago (referring to the time me and my boyfriend went to her door to ask if the kid was ok). She said she’s got carpet in the flat and has 2 kids under 4 so there’s nothing she can do about the noise as they’re only kids. She said she’s already had complaints from her upstairs neighbour and researched the council policies that noise after 6am is classed as acceptable noise. She said “it’s acceptable noise so I don’t know what you want me to do, no more notes.” Gave me the note back And walked off?

I think she was so inconsiderate, I explained to her that we hear everything and shes welcome to come and sit in our bedrooms for half an hour to really hear how much noise comes from upstairs, to which she said “I know how much noise we make.” ... ?

I’m so p**d off. All I was hoping for was a little sympathy and got told to shove it? I have a lovely (small) speaker that doesn’t blast the roof off but is certainly enough for upstairs to hear seeing as the floorboards are so thin - i’ll be playing my music loudly until 11pm every night if that’s how inconsiderate she wants to be? At least it’ll drown out their noises too..

Thoughts? What do I do? I feel like she’s taking advantage of my age and talking down to me. Like she’s got kids so she can make as much noise as she likes?
Once again i really can’t tell you how loud the stamping and tantrums are, it’s blood curdling screams.. awful.

Can you move out?

That sounds bloody awful!

Honestly I’d move if possible. Much as you love your flat I couldn’t put up with that.

Screaming is torturous. I had BIL & SIL stay for 3 weeks last summer and their kids are screamers, it was absolutely awful.

We’re renting! :( Our contract ends in September so yes it’s a possibility but the location of the flat is perfect and we love the condition of the flat compared to most in London on a budget. :(

Well, a really mean method is to make noise when you think they might like some peace and quiet. It worked on my metal-head neighbour, but not sure about the effectiveness with kids.

We have one above and one below just now. The dad below makes as much noise as the child. Both children scream from early o’clock to bedtime. I has to laugh when I bumped into one of the mums and she was grumbling about the people below her making a noise.

Earplugs.

If you can even hear them switching the lights on you have extremely thin walls and floor, it probably doesn't seem that loud to them if you are hearing tiny noises it's probably just the normal noise from a family that they are making. If it was me then i would move out when your lease is up

Move. I don’t know anyone that lasted more than one tenancy in a ground floor conversion flat because of noise. Even if the kids were to move out, you’d still be suffering if the soundproofing is so none existent that you can hear light switches, drawers and taps. In the meantime earplugs. And next time look at only top floor flats or modern buildings.

not once did we hear a parent shouting at this sceaming?

Shouting at a tantruming child will (a) not help the tantrum (b) teach the child that we shout at people whose emotional state we don't agree with, and (c) only add to the general decibel level anyway.

It sounds awful but they are entitled to wall around their flat, have sex in the night, and put the lights on and off, etc. I think for you you need to decide whether you can live with and investigate noise cancelling and sound proofing - hoping that this family will change their ways is going to drive you mad.

@makingmammaries that’s exactly my thought process now after this morning! I’ve always been respectful about playing music on my speaker if the kids might be asleep but feel so p**d off she doesn’t seem to care about us downstairs. I’m just nervous if I start playing music in the evenings (not after 11pm) she’ll take it further and report a nuisance? Ugh. :( she’s so lucky we don’t have parties all the time lol!

Can you complain to the landlord if they are renting like you?

Your problem isn't your neighbours, your problem is the shitty soundproofing in your conversion flat. If you can hear taps, light switches, etc then of course you're going to be able to hear the children playing or having tantrums and the parents having sex. Either speak to the landlord about the lack of soundproofing or start looking for somewhere else ahead of your lease being up in September and if you do move then tell the landlord it's because there is no soundproofing.

i’ll be playing my music loudly until 11pm every night

Why escalate an already fraught situation? Grown ups don't play tit for tat games and you'd be opening yourself up for a formal complaint to the landlord and/or council. Living noise can't be enforced against but creating malicious noise (e.g., blasting a speaker as "revenge") can be.

The mum answered and told us her 4 year old was just throwing a tantrum because she couldn’t watch TV... not once did we hear a parent shouting at this screaming?

Why would the parent shout at a 4yo for having a tantrum? Many small children have tantrums, they grow out of it, but shouting at them for it is counter-productive.

If she has two under 4 then she probably is limited in how much she can control noise.
Kids scream and have tantrums it's a phase some have to get through.
" not once did we hear a parent shouting at this screaming"
That's actually really good. Shouting at screaming doesn't work. It escalates things and gives kids negative attention which some of them then go after.
You need to move from an unsound proofed building point of view, if you can hear light switches. You also need to back off this family. They know they're loud but they probably can't reasonably do much to keep things quiet with children that young.

Should they stop using the tap and switches too?
Neighbour isn't the issue the property is.
Ear plugs and move.

Join forces with the upstairs neighbours who have also complained about the noise. Complain in tandem with them,
Start hoovering at 11pm, discover a fondness for death metal.

I think you have a flat problem not a neighbour problem. If my neighbours complained about normal family noise I would probably say something similar.

Well as they are above you , you cannot do what I do to my noisy NDN ( put the vacuum cleaner up against the skirting board of the wall next to The Noisy Ones Room )

But you could play music on a loop ( think of that episode of Inspector Morse when someone broke into his house and programmed repeating classical music. Doesn't have to be Def Leppard )

And when they are 'At It' , cheer loudly when they finish . Award them marks out of 10.

If you can hear the light switches then I doubt it really is unreasonable noise. Playing lions at 8am may seem excessive, but they've quite possibly been up since 5 and keeping the kids quiet, so it may be hard for them to change much.

Agree it does sound a bit like a flat problem more than neighbours - I've been on both sides of your situation and it is so hard, but also difficult to actually do a lot about.

Sounds like normal day go day noise. Are you in a new build?

Your flat is cheap because the sound insulation is nonexistent. Complain to your landlord not your neighbours.
How long ago was the conversion done? You can try to get your local council involved if work has not been done to agreed standards but it will be easier to move when your lease is up. Tell your landlord why as eventually they may decide that they would like to keep tenants for longer.
Your neighbours have carpet not laminate floor so not sure what else they could do to mitigate noise. If you are hearing light switches, drawers etc I can understand how louder family noise must seem unbearable but the parents shouting at a child having a tantrum would not help. You say you have had two parties and 'for one of them' had stopped music and moved on by 9.30pm. Presumably that means the other party went on later? Did you let your neighbours know in advance you were planning a party and ask them to come down if they were disturbed?
Escalating the situation by being deliberately childish will only make things worse between you, it won't make your neighbours any quieter and it won't make you feel any better. I sounds as if they are as fed up as you are so may be looking to move out. However, even professionals like you and your flatmates will still turn on taps and light switches and have sex so your flat is never going to be peaceful.

It doesn't sound like your neighbours have done anything wrong.

Children have tantrums and you didn't hear them shout becuase that's a pointless to deal with that.

After 7am and before 9pm, I'd expect a lot of noise from children, they're playing.

Part of living in a flat is the noise I'm afraid.

I have sympathy for the mum. No one wants their kids making that amount of noise (I have sympathies for my own neighbours) BUT her attitude would have me blasting those speakers. Do it! There was no need for her to be so rude to you.

I agree it sounds like shit building work. Of course you'll hear children playing if you can hear light switches turning off and on. That's probably why it's cheap rent. I've lived in a badly converted ground floor flat before and just people walking across the room upstairs sounded like they were doing aerobics. You could talk to your landlord but soundproofing costs money. I'd just move. It's a poor quality build. Fwiw I've lived in flats since where I hardly heard the neighbours at all, so it's not inevitable for all flats. But with cheap builds, it is.

Move.

Offee to swap flats with.them. crap conversion if you can hear normal noises but.i.can see.how.frustrating it is. Speak to your l.l. and.ask him to speak to.them

And yes people getting on with their daily lives, playing with their kids etc at 8 am and especially 9.30 am is perfectly reasonable activity. Not everyone stays in bed half the day.