Extremely loud kids& parents upstairs?!

[Notamumxxx19]

Ok so I’m not a parent, myself, my sister and my best friend moved into our ground floor flat 6 months ago (we’re all young professionals in our 20s) and love our flat! But we have been SUFFERING at the noise levels of our upstairs neighbours. They’re a family of 4 with both kids under 5. I can’t begin to describe the banging, stamping, SCREAMING, shouting that comes from above us. It physically reduced me to tears one weekend morning after a long working week in the city getting up at 6am every morning (which I have to listen to them at that time too) and getting home about 6/7/8pm (to which I’m greeted by more noise from them). It’s so awful, aside from the kids screaming, crying, jumping and shouting I hear taps, light switches, drawers being shut etc. We’ve never once complained because we understand they’re kids and thats what kids do...
however I recall one evening me and my boyfriend went up and knocked on their door out of sheer concern from the screaming. Honestly it sounded like the kid was in horrible pain. The mum answered and told us her 4 year old was just throwing a tantrum because she couldn’t watch TV... not once did we hear a parent shouting at this screaming? I took the opportunity to politely tell her “we can hear everything to wanted to make sure she’s ok”.

After that the noise kept coming with no real follow of an authoritive parent being heard to stop the jumping/banging/running. It’s Becoming more frustrating for all three of us as my sister works shifts (with the police lol). We’ve had 2 parties within 6 months and for one of them the music stopped and we were out the flat by 9.30pm to go elsewhere.
Don’t get me started on night time noise. My bedroom is right underneath the parents bedroom and I hear EVERYTHING! IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. I’ve had to bang on the ceiling to shut them up at 1am. The kids will then start crying at 2/3am after the parents have had some fun.. ITS AWFUL.
So the final straw this morning (bank holiday) it was 8am and all three of us were woken up by horrendous banging and stomping honestly I thought they would come through the roof, it wasn’t aggressive or anything though the kids are obviously playing lions with the dad because he’s running about too roaring and shouting? At 8am on my bank holiday weekend? I go back to sleep and I’m woken up a second time at 9.3am by the same racket. I DONT GET A GOOD SLEEP BECAUSE THEY MAKE SO MUCH NOISE!!! So I wrote a note and posted it through their letterbox, basically saying “the floorboards are very thin and we always hear everything. You’ve just woken the three of us up again, please be more considerate of noises and banging.”
The mum’s just come down and said that she doesn’t appreciate a note through the door, and that we’ve already complained about her child screaming a few months ago (referring to the time me and my boyfriend went to her door to ask if the kid was ok). She said she’s got carpet in the flat and has 2 kids under 4 so there’s nothing she can do about the noise as they’re only kids. She said she’s already had complaints from her upstairs neighbour and researched the council policies that noise after 6am is classed as acceptable noise. She said “it’s acceptable noise so I don’t know what you want me to do, no more notes.” Gave me the note back And walked off?

I think she was so inconsiderate, I explained to her that we hear everything and shes welcome to come and sit in our bedrooms for half an hour to really hear how much noise comes from upstairs, to which she said “I know how much noise we make.” ... ?

I’m so p**d off. All I was hoping for was a little sympathy and got told to shove it? I have a lovely (small) speaker that doesn’t blast the roof off but is certainly enough for upstairs to hear seeing as the floorboards are so thin - i’ll be playing my music loudly until 11pm every night if that’s how inconsiderate she wants to be? At least it’ll drown out their noises too..

Thoughts? What do I do? I feel like she’s taking advantage of my age and talking down to me. Like she’s got kids so she can make as much noise as she likes?
Once again i really can’t tell you how loud the stamping and tantrums are, it’s blood curdling screams.. awful.

@someoneonlyyouknow my flat is not cheap LOL, we pay through the roof for a 3 bedroom flat in london so to hear the amount of noise that we do is frustrating. The party when we first moved in went on later yes, until 12 and we were not aware of how much they would have been able to hear at that point.
We’re all respectful and feel insulted she’s come down and shoved our 1 complaint up our ass

We just moved out of a ground floor flat for the same reason. It was horrendous. Unfortunately you're probably going to have to move. Our upstairs neighbour had 2 children one of them would bang something against the radiator until she got out of bed (she was lazy and wouldn't get out of bed when her kids got up) she threw parties and smoked drugs. You could hear everything from the kids running round to sex noises.

We complained to the letting agent who did nothing. After 8 months we moved. The day we moved out a member of the letting agent staff actually admitted to us that their manager had the council in her ear telling her not to evict her despite complaints from neighbours. I'm guessing she received help from the council as she privately rented like we did and they didn't want her evicted as the councils as we all know are under immense pressure to house people.
It's probably not what you want to hear but just move.

Just move honestly life is short. In the mean time live your life without a care in the world for being considerate. Dont deliberately be a nuisance yourself but if you want to have a party every weekend and play music til 11pm that's 100% acceptable so dont be considerate anymore and turn it off at 9.30 etc. Just live your life and get ready to move in September.

They all sound horrid. I have no sympathy for that woman because she clearly doesn't care about anyone else besides those brats making a nuisance for everyone else. Honestly I would get together with your other neighbors and continue with the complaints until they feel upset enough to consider everyone else or move. Why should you move?

Why do they sound "horrid"? For doing normal things that normal people do and getting fucked off by someone putting a note under their door complaining about them playing with their kids? People have sex, they open drawers (!), kids have tantrums (and only once in six months is pretty good going), young children don't play silently.

No matter who lives upstairs, be it a family or a nun, they will be "noisy" because the soundproofing is crap.

Yes but the odd and inconsiderate times that they are allowing this to go on makes them horrid. And that womans attitude to another neighbour's complaint as well as the OP note, makes her very selfish. Why should her 2 kids trump the needs of everyone else.

What is "odd and inconsiderate" about playing with children at 9.30 am?

Nothing the OP has described is outside the bounds of normal family noise.

If you can hear light switches then there's never going to be a solution to that noise. Kids are entitled to play in the home, it's not their fault the insulation is completely crap.

Do you have carpets or flooring?

Honestly I'd be looking to move as it's always going to be an issue - even if they move out you'll still likely end up with another family if it's a 3 bed place. Or a snorer. I lived under a snorer in a badly insulated place once - absolute hell.

What constitutes a considerate time to open a drawer? Or turn on a tap or light switch? Or even have sex in their own bedroom?

I can see a lot of different opinions, I understand this is normal living noise which is why we’ve never complained, I understand children don’t play in silence, I understand people have sex lol I was just making a point of how much I can hear and how they all keep us awake at night. It’s the fact that’s shes come down and completely disrespected us.

Yes but the odd and inconsiderate times that they are allowing this to go on makes them horrid. And that womans attitude to another neighbour's complaint as well as the OP note, makes her very selfish. Why should her 2 kids trump the needs of everyone else.

What's odd and inconsiderate about 8am? They've likely kept the kids quiet until then.

And she's probably got the attitude because she's fed up of people complaining about her turning taps on, using light switches and living like a normal family. The insulation is the issue in the flats, not the people.

It’s the fact that’s shes come down and completely disrespected us.

Can you not see it at all from her pov?

They're simply living a normal family life, as you've said yourself. Yet you are posting passive aggressive notes through her door when she's probably doing her best to limit noise (most kids are awake before 8am so she's likely keeping them quiet until its reasonable) and your other neighbour is calling the council.

Your landlord is the issue here, not the woman and her family. And there's nothing disrespectful about speaking to a neighbour who is complaining about your noise to point out that you are not being noisy - she was just making her point...

I wouldn't be showing much respect for someone who complained about me participating in a normal activity in the middle of the morning. It was 9.30, not 2.30. You were impolite.

It’s the fact that’s shes come down and completely disrespected us.

How exactly has she disrespected you?

You put a passive-aggressive note through her door complaining about her children playing when it was after 9am.

She told you she's checked with the council to see if they're doing anything wrong and she isn't so don't send any more notes.

Disrespectful would have been writing "fuck off" across it and supergluing it to your front door.

Tbh she's probably stressed out that she and her family are going to lose their home because some lazy arse downstairs wants to lie in bed all day.

Notamumxxx19

You said in London so I meant cheap but not cheap! It's a rubbish situation but it doesn't sound as if it would improve much, whoever your upstairs neighbours were. I'm not saying you have behaved badly towards them but they honestly don't seem to have been deliberately noisy either. They would have to be much more unreasonable to get evicted. If you were going to mount a campaign of nuisance (unless you are a naturally nasty person and you don't sound as if you are) I think you would find it very wearing and not really enjoyable.

Have a nice "we are professionals in our 20s" party at your flat a few week day nights :-)

some lazy arse downstairs wants to lie in bed all day

Oh don't be so fucking ridiculous. Being in bed at 9.30 am on your day off is NOT being lazy. Christ almighty.

The fact that upstairs have complained too suggests that OP is not being unreasonable or over-sensitive here.

Notamumxxx19 Take a look at the council guidelines yourself, they'll be on the website. Contact your landlord too - perhaps they could do something re: insulation/soundproofing.

@sighrollseyes we’ve never had a weeknight party not sure where you got that from :)

Not, I think sigh is suggesting that you start having them!

Hahaha it’s so funny how quick people are to judge from just a snippet of information I’ve told you. We’re not lazy arses laying in bed all day. My sisters studying in her bedroom for the police and due to work night shifts. I work in the city I’m up at 5.30/6am every day making my hard earned money thanks :) speaks more than most 20yr olds in our generation

Kids, up and about at 9:30 am is perfectly fine and if you can hear light switches flicking on and off, then they are bound to sound like a herd of elephants playing very normally for children.

They'd have to tiptoe around the house like pantomime robbers to not disturb you with that little soundproofing.

Sounds like a shit flat and a normal family. And no, you don't shout at a tantruming child. There might be a reason your perfect flat is affordable