Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

To still feel like crap that I had my ddog PTS when my baby was 3mo

45 replies

HalyardHitch · 19/04/2019 14:29

When ds1 was 3 months old I had ddog put to sleep. He had cancer. He went to the vet with his first sign of ill health and was gone within five days. He had no hope, he was too poorly. He was only three.

I just feel like shit that it's a one in one out thing. DS came and I can't help but feel like I got rid of ddog. I've just read a thread that has brought up all of the horrible, conflicted feelings and I just feel sick.

Eldest is now 2. It's almost two years to the day we had ddog PTS as it was over Easter

OP posts:

lyralalala · 19/04/2019 14:31

There is a huge huge huge difference between having a pet pts because they are dying and getting rid of a pet because you are having a baby.

You did what was best for your dog.

The timing was just a coincidence.

nrpmum · 19/04/2019 14:32

Awful timing, but you did the kindest thing for your ddog.

PotteringAlong · 19/04/2019 14:32

You did the very very best for you very ill dog. And at a time when you had so much going on you took him to the vet and did all he needed you to do. That’s not ignoring him

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 19/04/2019 14:33

@lyralalala is right - you made the hardest decision, with your beloved dog’s welfare at heart.

{{{hugs}}} for you.

hammeringinmyhead · 19/04/2019 14:33

I agree. In the nicest possible way, if you hadn't done the kindest thing he would have died very early in your baby's life anyway.

Original poster

HalyardHitch · 19/04/2019 14:34

The vet didn't give us a choice or even time to decide. She said he was far too poorly and we should do it that night. I 100% agree but it was so sudden.

I'm tinged with guilt though because I know ddog would have been awful with kids. I trained him so much but he was still unpredictable

OP posts:

ThePlatypusAlwaysTriumphs · 19/04/2019 14:34

Please don't feel bad. As a vet, I can assure you that your vet would not have euthanased your ddog if it wasn't the right thing to do. It sounds like there wasn't anything else you could have done.

If it's the cat rehoming post that has upset you, that is a very different situation. That is people who believe animals are disposable items, which is not the same as letting go a pet who is ill and has no hope!

ChopinIn10Minuets · 19/04/2019 14:34

to you. It's a difficult anniversary but you did the right thing, 100%. Poor dog had no hope of surviving and you saved him months of suffering.

AwdBovril · 19/04/2019 14:36

You didn't get rid of your dog because he was an inconvenience, because you had a baby & you'd not thought ahead, though. You had him humanely pit to sleep because he was dying anyway; the timing was just a terrible coincidence. Please don't blame yourself, you did your best for him when he needed you.

Original poster

HalyardHitch · 19/04/2019 14:37

I think it's just made me feel crap because I know I should have rehomed him but now it's karma because he's dead. I'm sat here crying about a stupid thread I've read.

OP posts:

krustykittens · 19/04/2019 14:37

You did the right thing, OP. It was a kindness to spare him suffering and that was the only consideration for yourself and your vet. Your baby arriving was a coincidence, nothing more.

AwdBovril · 19/04/2019 14:38

The fact that he may have been difficult with kids isn't actually relevant - you had to have him put down because he was dying. His suitability, or lack of, around children doesn't negate the fact that he was dying.

minmooch · 19/04/2019 14:38

Op you did the best thing for your dog. And it was nothing to do with the arrival of your baby.

Having witnessed my eldest son die from cancer and its treatment I would not hesitate to put my dog to sleep if it had cancer. My dog currently has lumps (he's a Labrador so very common) but if any of them ever turn out to be cancerous my vet knows that I will have him put to sleep straight away. I would not want him to suffer a single day.

Weepingwillows12 · 19/04/2019 14:38

I had a 3 month old when my grandma died. I felt guilty for a long time that I hadn't grieved for her "enough" because I was focused on the baby and life had to go on. She was the one of the most important people in my life and I cried and was sad but life didn't stop. Now I realise that's how it should be. I miss her loads. She would have loved my kids.

Weepingwillows12 · 19/04/2019 14:39

Sorry. My point was, do you think you are feeling something similar?

Witchofzog · 19/04/2019 14:39

I am sorry if it was my thread that brought up all the bad feelings again. Your situation was entirely entirely different. Your dog was pts because he was very very unwell. Your ds was 3 months old therefore you tried to integrate the 2 within the same household. You 100 percent did the right thing

Original poster

HalyardHitch · 19/04/2019 14:39

We picked him up, took him for his last walk. He was so happy and care free (drugged up to his eyeballs on every kind of medication). He had dodgey hips but we let him chase the ball as hard as he wanted. He did tricks, we played.

I've never really grieved him because ds1 was a poorly baby and still is a poorly toddler. He's expanded to fill the gap and we also have a one year old

OP posts:

AwdBovril · 19/04/2019 14:39

The very fact that you still feel badly about it shows that it wasn't a decision you made because he was an inconvenience to you, you clearly loved him. Please try to go easy on yourself. There really was no alternative.

user1483387154 · 19/04/2019 14:40

oh sweetheart, you really have not done anything wrong. Your poor dog needed to be at peace. It is such a difficult thing to do but you absolutely did the right thing x

Original poster

HalyardHitch · 19/04/2019 14:41

I feel pathetic at just how upset I am right now

OP posts:

Samind · 19/04/2019 14:41

He might of been difficult/unpredictable due to undiagnosed cancer? Pain or the cancer spreading?

By the sounds of it, you looked after your dog so well and you shouldn't feel guilty! Better for him not to be suffering. 💐

Original poster

HalyardHitch · 19/04/2019 14:44

He was always a bit of a project tbh. The behaviourist said she couldn't believe such a lovely, well trained dog could have such behaviour problems.

I got him when I was signed off work for a year with depression.

It just feels like he'd finished being useful.

The vet said his cancer levels in his blood were just far too high to even leave him till morning. They had him every day and we had him every night. By the final night he just slept in his own urine

OP posts:

Bambamber · 19/04/2019 14:49

Having a dog PTS at the right time is the kindest decision you can make for your dog.

Totally agree with a previous poster that if the vet advised your dog be PTS, it was absolutely the right thing to do. A vet would not advise this unless they felt this was the best course of action, especially if you was given no other option.

It sounds like you gave your dog some wonderful last moments, and allowed him to pass away in a calm, controlled manner. Although it's not easy, it's often the kindest thing for a sick animal

pigsDOfly · 19/04/2019 14:49

How could you have rehomed him, when he was so ill?

I'm sensing that the reason you feel guilt over this is because you were possibly a bit worried that you wouldn't be able to cope with an unpredictable dog and your new baby; and then he got ill and suddenly he was gone.

As pps have said the timing was very, very unfortunately and there was nothing you could have done, except the kind thing you did do and let him go quickly.

You didn't get rid of him because you had your baby, you've got nothing to feel bad about.

If you need to talk to someone about your feelings the Blue Cross has a pet bereavement service 0800 096 6606.

MitziTheTabbyIsMyOverlord · 19/04/2019 14:52

for you. If you're talking about the "friend" on FB thread, OP, then your situation is a million miles away from that.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I agree with PPs - you did the kindest thing for your pet and you honour him by continuing to miss him and holding a place for him in your heart

Flip

1 2

Swipe left for the next trending thread