To just go to bed?

[fanciedabitofachange]

I'm exhausted. I've been fighting a virus for over two weeks, and it's not going anywhere. Saw a GP last night in desperation, but they told me it was viral and that I just needed to rest.

I can't rest. I have a baby and an autistic four year old. My husband is upstairs working and will not come down and help me with the children.

I can't do this any more. My whole body aches.

Tell your husband you need rest now otherwise you could collapse for a week and he’ll have full care of the kids.

Selfish prick.

I just want to lie down for an hour without anybody crying at me or asking me for a drink. Just an hour.

He will be taking a lunch break soon surely? He can eat whilst looking after the kids and work a bit later tonight. My husband works from home and if I was struggling with DDs he would let me have a break.

I have to beg. And when I do it's met with sighing.

Aibu to just have a little cry instead?

Yes you would BU to cry instead of telling your life partner you need a rest because you’ve been carrying on as normal for ages with a horrible fucking virus!

Let the dickhead sigh. Ugh the selfishness.

What a prick. Id be taking the kids up to his office and saying “I am ill and I AM going for a lie down for an hour”, then walking out the room and shutting the door behind me. He can cope for an hour.

A few months ago I got so ground down that I was self harming and having intrusive thoughts. He didn't see it was because I get no help at all. He didn't realise his behaviour was the cause.

He just says he has to make money for our family, and that take precedence over everything.

My DH sometimes tries that on but gets very quickly shut down.

Yes money is important but so is your health, otherwise you won’t be able to look after the kids at all. Sorry but your husband is a major problem here !

Is there anyone else (grandparents?) who could help you this afternoon if he simply won’t help? X

No one to help. The 4yo is off nursery.

He's being a lazy entitled bastard. You can quote me on that. Unless he's in the middle of surgery or putting out a fire he can stop for a couple of hours to let you rest. What does he think will happen if you end up in hospital?

I can feel myself going to a very very dark place in my head and I'm scared. I don't know what to do. He won't help me.

Put tv on, feet up, have a nap

Unhelpful @HoraceCope

DH is working in our bed instead of in his office. It just feels like he's taunting me tbh.

Not meant to be

Step away from the Internet and give the dh the children

Are you actually reading what I'm posting here @HoraceCope - he will not help

He’s sat in bed ?!!! Honestly just take the kids into the room and shut the door behind you ! Do you have a spare room? Can you drive the car round the corner and just sit there with your eyes shut for an hour ?

This isn’t sustainable Op

Give him the dc and go out

Hide in the bath

Wanted to add that the nature of the work my DH does, and it being from home, means he is never finished. He will never ever say that he has finished something or got to a point where he can stop. He is always “swamped”, “behind”... which used to make me feel like I couldn’t ever ask him for help. Until I realised that he is ALWAYS going to be swamped and behind and he needs to let me have a break despite this. An hour or two is not going to bring his world crashing down.

Take the kids into him.

Go out.

Frankly, if you could afford it, I’d book a hotel room (unless the baby is EBF). If you can’t do that go anywhere you can get some peace and hopefully a nap. If I knew you, even loosely, from nursery/school drop offs or whatever you’d be welcome to the spare room for as long as you wanted to sleep. Don’t be afraid to ask someone.

Then you need to work on leaving that wanker.

HoraceCope is talking sense, you are just not sin a place where you can see that. You need to take the children upstairs, tell your DH that you are unwell and cannot cope a moment longer and that he must look after the children for an hour to allow you to rest for a while.

Let him know that if he does not you will be forced to take yourself out of the house and book into a hotel to recuperate and he will have to care for HIS children.

Erm fuck that. Either turn the Internet off or the electricity. He'll storm downstairs like a sulky teen. Tell him you're going to rest as advised by the GP and go upstairs. Lock your bedroom door so he can't disturb you.

If you're not up for that, can you put the TV on and rest on the couch at least?