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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU or is DH re car seat

35 replies

SmallPinkBear · 19/04/2019 06:42

So we were lying in bed and DD (3) comes in. We are talking about what we are doing today (trip to the theatre and then to DFILs for food) and DH mentions FIL will drive us to his house as he will be nearby.
I asked what we will do about car seats as it is breaking the law and I want DD to be safe etc and DH has stormed off calling me ‘fucking anal’ and 99% of people would not care.
AIBU to want my child in a car seat? It is a couple of miles across central and will probably take 20-30 mins depending on traffic

OP posts:
Original poster
SmallPinkBear · 19/04/2019 06:43

We have recently been abroad where obviously she wasn’t using seats all the time (no seat belts in taxis etc) so maybe that is why he thinks it is ok...

OP posts:
moreismore · 19/04/2019 06:43

Your husband is being v v unreasonable! And the driver of the car would be in a lot of trouble.

moreismore · 19/04/2019 06:44

Why would you put your children in harms way when you don’t have to?

UCOforAC12 · 19/04/2019 06:44

It's the law for a reason.

Iggly · 19/04/2019 06:44

isnt it just a case of moving car seats to FILs car?

Sally2791 · 19/04/2019 06:45

Car seat essential every time. Do not be cowed by obnoxious dh

dementedpixie · 19/04/2019 06:45

He is BU as it is not an unexpected journey so it is the law that she uses an age appropriate seat

collectingcpd · 19/04/2019 06:47

DH IBU. I’m assuming he feels able to live with the guilt if something happens to dd while being transported unrestrained, aside from the fact that it’s against the law? We travel a lot with DC. We take pretty robust car seats with us.

Original poster
SmallPinkBear · 19/04/2019 06:47

Thank you! I can’t understand why he thinks it is ok! I told him
It was against the law and he doesn’t care 🙄

Can’t swap seat over as we will be going into central London on train...

OP posts:
TixieLix · 19/04/2019 06:49

How else would you get to FILs if he doesn't collect you? If you got a taxi instead would they have car seats? I'm not saying it's right not to have them - obviously the law is there for a reason - just asking a genuine question. Could you get another form of public transport?

Nuttyaboutnutella · 19/04/2019 06:50

Aside from the fact it's the law, why would he knowingly put his child at risk. An accident can happen 2 mins after leaving the house.my son is still RF at age 2, so I don't take car seat safety lightlyt at all.

Original poster
SmallPinkBear · 19/04/2019 06:50

tixie
We will be in central London and dh is the king of public transport so would use buses like we normally do

OP posts:
BeanBag7 · 19/04/2019 06:59

I would never put my child in a car without a car seat. As you are able to take public transport, your DH is basically being lazy and gambling with your child's life in the process.

TBH I probably wouldn't have gone in a taxi without a car seat abroad either, it's not less dangerous just because you're in another country.

YouJustDoYou · 19/04/2019 07:02

Maybe he'll care more about the huge fine he'll get then for driving round without a car seat for half an hour more than his own child's life. My mum once mocked me for the same thing but it's just not worth the risk. 2 minutes down quiet back roads maybe in an emergency, but not 30 minutes on main roads.

BluishMoon · 19/04/2019 07:03

Obviously DH is being unreasonable. I've taken baby in taxi without a seat only when absolutely essential, no way would I do it in any car otherwise, and I'm sure the vast majority feel the same

MerryMarigold · 19/04/2019 07:07

I think you're being a bit hypocritical OP if you've just come from a country where you did it a lot. I'd do it, but then I'd do both. Some people take car seats when they travel abroad. It's unclear to me if you have conviction on the danger (don't do it abroad then) or if you're worried about being caught by the police (highly unlikely). I can see that dh is probably able at your moral superiority despite double standards.

stucknoue · 19/04/2019 07:07

You need a car seat but it is reasonable to use a booster in such circumstances that can be bought far cheaper than the large reversible ones popular here. At one point you could buy a booster than could be carried as a backpack. From 3 mine had high backed boosters and my parents had spares

MerryMarigold · 19/04/2019 07:08

Dh is able = dh is annoyed

stucknoue · 19/04/2019 07:09

Boosters can be used from 15kg

adaline · 19/04/2019 07:12

Is there any other way to get to FIL's?

Youngandfree · 19/04/2019 07:15

To be honest even though it’s “ok” to do it in a taxi I still wouldn’t do it then!!

BluishMoon · 19/04/2019 07:23

To be honest even though it’s “ok” to do it in a taxi I still wouldn’t do it then

No choice in an emergency if you don't have a car

Thewheelsarefallingoff · 19/04/2019 07:27

Can you buy a car seat for fil to keep on his car? Also would not have travelled in a car without a seat belt while abroad

Youngandfree · 19/04/2019 07:30

@BluishMoon I accept that not everyone has a car but you should have a car seat!

PurpleCrazyHorse · 19/04/2019 07:37

We bought a Trunki booster backpack. Not as good as our usual high backed booster seat but portable for taxi's etc.

Your DH is being unreasonable. It is legal in a taxi and you could ring and ask if they have child seats or a booster seat.