To say mums of girls are smug

[TheMidiMitch]

Just been at a party where my son along with the other boys have been repeatedly told off for fighting (quite rightly so and largely by me). Whilst the girls are busy braiding hair and pretending to make cupcakes, the boys are looking like Lord of the Flies. Not meant to be a goady post but please let me know there's light at the end of this tunnel...anyone...

[MargoLovebutter]

I have one of each - I’m so smug, I have no wrinkles from the permanent look of smugery!!!!

[NoSauce]

I wou not want boys tbh. So yes I'm smug

These type of comments baffle me. You didn’t choose to have a DD, you could have quite easily had a boy. You would have loved him the same as your DD.

[Babuchak]

the traits could land in any mix unless parents consciously or unconsciously socialise their children to confirm their expectations

could, but they don't.
It's not all about glitter you know. Boys and girls are different, there's no need to deny it. Yes, each child has his own personality, it doesn't change the fact that genders have differences. They don't develop at the same rate, don't have the same behaviour, the same strengths and weaknesses. Nothing wrong with being a girl or being a boy.

It's usually (not always, but usually) mothers of girls who deny the differences ,

[fattylawmaker]

I had a boisterous terror DS and an angelic book reading, jigsaw loving DD...

During their teens DS was a dream and DD was a witch & nearly broke us all!!

They are grown up and both fine now

[ChariotsofFish]

Why has no one sent my DD this memo that she should be sitting quietly colouring and braiding hair?! Why is she off climbing scary things and running at high speed and jumping?

[SolitudeAtAltitude]

What age?

Talk to those mums again.when their girls hit their teens

For many, the tables turn

A good friend of mine who has girls (I havd boys) actually apologized for her early years smugness when she cried it out over a G&T

Boy teens can be problematic too, but girls' issues seem more complex and worrying and especially hard after the early years of crafts and home baking and pretty dresses. Strictly speaking from my own experience though!

[stayathomer]

I know how you feel OP. I have 4 boys and nearly all of my friends have girls. When we do anything the girls seem a million (billion, trillion) times easier, they either sit playing with something or at least come back when their mothers tell them and I'm the one running in circles and apologising all over the place. And I think boys and girls are probably equally difficult in puberty!

[Babuchak]

I wish I was smug, I have 2 of each and I am too exhausted by it all!

What I find most amusing is having play dates, the difference when any of mine, boy or girl, invite boys or girls is amazing. Much easier to host little girls than little boys, but that doesn't last.

[M3lon]

I wonder how many people who complain about their boys always play fighting let them watch a lot of boys fighting on TV? My Dnephew constantly watches pokemon, nijago, X-men etc. and guess what? He play fights all the time...

I wonder how many people who complain about their girls being manipulative and obsessed with social hierarchies and appearance let them watch endless friendship drama shit on TV? DD has been watching Just add Magic and has suddenly become obsessed with who is best friends with who in her music class...coincidence? I don't think so.

We DO make our kids like this...if boys watched MLP FIM all day everyday while the girls watched ninjago all day everyday, you'd soon see the behaviours swap.

[archivearmadillo]

Babuchak they're different once puberty hits. Before that it's personality and socialisation, not sex differences.

My boys are as different from one another as they are from my girl. My girl is more similar to one of my boys than the boys to one another, though obviously they're all different.

[SpeedyBojangles]

I have two girls and I'm constantly telling them off for fighting (with each other!)

[Chickychoccyegg]

my 3 dd's can be lovely, they can also be stroppy madams, with endless drama, people often say "girls are a nightmare" and "glad ive got boys", so guess they all have their moments

[AestheticPerfection]

I have two girls and I'm anti-smug. One in particular is goddamned awful. I don't like the choice of wording. Be proud of your spirited kids. Better than the bland kind.

[FunnysInLaJardin]

My boys were both hard work as toddlers but now my 13 yo DS1 is lovely, esp when compared to what I hear about 13yo girls.

There had to be a pay back at some point!

[Lacypants]

My DD is 7 and is usually instigating rebellion. Examples include the time she just marched into the middle of some yr 5s boys playing football and made them let her play, the time she started a "battle" of girls v boys at breakfast club, the time she screamed at my dad that gardening isn't a boys job because you don't need a willy to do it....
My DS is 9. He plays rough and tumble, but certainly doesn't assert himself or start arguments half as much as my DD.

Its possible that my rabid feminism is rubbing off on her.

[Silversun83]

They're currently only toddlers, but my DD is far more disobedient, boisterous and 'spirited' than my DS who is the most chilled out person ever.

Isn't it just personality rather than what sex they are?

[HateIsNotGood]

But afaik teenaged girls can be way, way more 'problematic' in ways that have yet to be invented, as many MNers already know from being teenaged girls themselves.

Hold fast OP, and watch that smugness dissipate quite rapidly in a few years.

Then sit back and enjoy, whilst 'sharing' an anecdote or two about how 'ill-behaved' they thought your ds was, and who would have thought how much grief their dear, darling teenaged girls are causing now.

[TheFormidableMrsC]

My daughter was bloody hard work from the moment she could walk. She has given me more stress over the years than I could have imagined. When she was 13 I had DS. Nothing prepared me for him either...however, now they're 21 and 8, I have to say he is far far easier than she ever was at that age. Even with a diagnosis of ASD. It probably helps that it's just him and I now, so we have a really close relationship and there is nobody else vying for my attention. I have no doubt it will change though as he grows and I am dreading puberty (again). I've never felt smug as a parent with either of them...they've both had their challenges!!

[archivearmadillo]

M3lon exactly.

People who think it's innate don't realise how deeply ingrained their prior expectations are and how unconsciously they're socialising their children to behave in gender stereotypical ways. It's a drip, drip of insideous little things from how parents and extended family respond to behaviours to what TV they put in for them, which toy they hand them, where they take them, how they dress them.
Presumably everyone with even a vague passing interest in child development has seen this before, but worth posting anyway:

www.bbc.com/news/av/magazine-40936719/gender-specific-toys-do-you-stereotype-children

[stucknoue]

Teenage girls are trouble, I have 2.

[BarbarianMum]

Ds1 has been gold as gold since day 1. Ds2 not so much. He takes after me.

I'm not so sure you can clearly divide this by sex.

[Insertinspirationalquotehere]

Fuck this "teen girls are awkward bitches" shit. Put certain expectations on them and they may be. Jesus, have we advanced at all?

[keepforgettingmyusername]

I think it's easier for mums of boys because people just say 'oh well boys will be boys' and all bad behaviour is instantly written off.

[TooBusyHavingFun]

I'm a smug mother of a daughter I have to admit (and that's after the teenage years!)

[Disappearedtothe80s]

Honestly, my DD was high maintenance all her life, she was a fairly tame teen by all measures but my god there were some moments. And yy to being so emotional, everything from friendships, vanity to just being stroppy. Everything is very bitchy, they take everything to heart. She's 20 now so I can say I survived!.

Compared to my two DSs, youngest is only 14 so I can't count my chickens just yet but my 17yo DS has honestly been a walk in park, really minor issues I cant honestly think of any major melt down in recent years.

DS1 was quiet, liked to read, just potter around with toys etc. DS2 was quite boisterous when he was younger but so long he got a decent run around everyday he was fine. And yeah there were a few fights with DS1 but it never dragged on, DD's has dramas that have gone on for months.

I love my DD dearly but sometimes I think it would be easier with another boy.

That said, teen boys eat you out of house and home.