To gently have a word about inappropriate drunken behaviour

[PJLove80]

A colleague and friend of mine who is very senior in our business (and also happily married with young kids) was spotted at a recent work event holding hands with his (gorgeous) PA when absolutely hammered. He is a really lovely bloke and gut feel tells me he wouldn’t actually do anything physical but he does get absolutely hammered at any events. WIBU to tell him that people noticed and he might want to consider how much he is drinking when out on a work event? I honestly think he would be mortified but as I say I know him and his wife who is amazing and I think he might need a bit of a wake up call. Or should I just stay out of it? Will go with majority.

stay out of it

Stay out of it.

Oh for goodness sake, stay out of it. It’s none of your business.

And as for commenting on his drinking.....l

Ok - consensus so far and definitely the easier option

Oh God no, don't say a thing!

just quietly judge like everyone else

How is the PA? I've had an inappropriate boss in my time and it was awful. He was "a lovely bloke" too, and i don't think wanted anything from me but was way too handsy, as far as i can tell just for his own amusement or gratification.
It was horrible, he was my boss and everyone loved him. I was young and a bit scared and not the confident woman i am now. Horrible. I left as soon as i could find a new job and my leaving do was dreadful. He spent the entire time with his arm draped round me telling every one how much he'd miss me - i was screaming inside while everyone else smilled and laughed at him. Gross.

How much of a friend is he to you? If I was the one behaving that way, I would appreciate a friend telling me. I wouldn't however, appreciate someone I worked with and barely knew commenting... so to me it depends on the relationship you already have with him. If it's mainly professional, stay out of it.

How close are you as friends?

If it was a genuine close friend of mine I wouldn't hesitate to tell them if they were acting like a dick while drunk around mutual colleagues.

X-post !

Yep we are friends and socialise with our families out of work.

Still stay out of it.

Stay out

He's a grown man. He can sort his own shit out.

Hmmm. How close are you to his wife?

I would say something along the lines of 'mate you gotta watch that shit for sexual harassment'.

Chiming in to reiterate that you should absolutely stay out of it.

Stay out of it?!

What the creep is drunk and flirting with someone who works for him. I wouldn't bring it up with him directly but i would have gone straight to HR

Why is he a creep? Because he is male?

Is it ok if she flirts and holds his hand but he isn’t allowed to do that?

You know him better than us - how does he take criticism?

I don't think you should stay out of it, but I'd approach it from a work perspective - you're a bit grabby with your PA, I know you don't mean anything by it but it's not fair on her, she can't tell you to back off, you're her boss...

Let me help you out knicky. It's because he is her BOSS.

And she is a ADULT. They were holding hands. That’s all. Don’t assume it’s all on him just because he is more senior.

Many posters on here will have married their boss or people superior to them. Or been their husbands boss. Doesn’t make them creeps.

Say something. He’s humiliating himself and his wife. Poor pa.

As far as I am aware (and he really has no form for creepy behaviour) it was just holding hands but people saw and are gossiping. They are not that different in age but yes he is her boss.

Many posters on here will have married their boss or people superior to them

Most people married their boss?

Did I say most? You have quoted me when I clearly said “many”

To look at it another way...if I was doing something embarrassing when I was drunk, to the point where people were gossiping about me, I'd rather hear about it from a friend than it get worse and end up with HR