AIBU to cancel health visitor?

[Thejoysof2boys]

Hi

AIBU?

DS2 is 11 days old, and I live in London but I am currently staying out in Essex with my parents for a couple of days as DP had to go away for work unexpectedly. The health visitor called on Monday and asked to come on Weds but we had planned a day out, I tried to schedule the appointment for next week but she was very insistent that she must come this week and Fri and Mon are bank holidays. She said she would try to move someone else and come on Thursday instead which I agreed to.

I have to travel an hour to get home just for this appointment and there are lots of protests going on right now in London where I live practically outside my door which is causing travel disruption. I know I am going to struggle in the morning to get home on the tube with a newborn and a toddler (22 months), and I am very tempted to just cancel and stay at my parents.

I know they have their time limits but I have no concerns with DS2 and we have already been visited by the midwife, would it be bad to cancel and would there be any implications?

Does anyone else have experience of a similar situation? I would feel very bad cancelling at the last minute especially if she had moved someone else but this is really going to be inconvenient for me. It's also not really my fault that they're struggling to fit everyone in before Easter bank holiday.

Can you not leave the toddler and nip home with the baby?

Don't bother, they don't turn up half the time anyway! Can you call to cancel?

Anything to do with the skin prick test?

Cancel. You aren’t legally obliged to opt in to the health visiting service anyway.

it's their target to see you by 14 days postnatal - not yours.

Just tell them you are away until X date - I'd give them your parents address and if they are that desperate for a HV to come then one could come to you there

"they don't turn up half the time anyway!"

That might be your personal experience, but not mine. I am a little out of touch because DD is now 18, but don't health visitors have to do certain checks at around 11 days?

The health visiting service visits are optional not compulsory. Our midwife did the heel prick. You need to do what is best for you and your children and if that is rearranging (or cancelling) then so be it

We had to go to a hospital for the heel prick test as the day fell on a bank holiday.

If it’s a usual HV visit, I’d cancel. No point ruining your time away

www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/newborn-blood-spot-test/

You’ve prob already done this. If you have then I’d prob rearrange and apologise.

Just call in the morning and say the protests are making the journey impossible. She's trying to fit you in before Easter for her own convenience. I opted out of seeing the health visitor with my second dc, it's not compulsory.

They should make come to your parents home. If not, cancel! The whole point of the health visit is to make sure you and baby are ok.. so why stress you out in order to make sure you're ok? Seems silly.

If they can't come to your parents, cancel and re-strange when you're back home.

*should come
*re-arrange

I agree, hv shouldn't drag you back home, stressing both you and baby out, just for her convenience. She should be working around you. I would rearrange until next week.

Just stay op.

They can offer services for you and you and you child and give great advice regarding development. They do a full top to toe assessment of the baby which can identify health issues missed by the midwife.

Sorry posted to soon. You need to tell them where you are and they will come to you or arrange with the local team to attend.

We ended up telling our HV to not come back with 2nd. She came out the same day as the midwife and wanted to weigh my baby again. I said no. She insisted and made me unlatch him at 10 days old to weigh him. Exact same weight as the morning, which I already told her had been done.
They're not a legal requirement. Don't stress yourself out OP

A local HV (to your parents) can do the visit, just tell them you are at your parents and will be for a couple of weeks or so

I am a HV. We have to do the primary birth visit between 10-14 days. If you were my client and you had no concerns I would be happy to re-schedule for when you were home and document the reason why it was late.

I had one say she would
report me
to SS if I didnt see her. As soon as I found out they were optional I never seen her again. She told me she had to see my baby by a certain date.

If you were my client and you had no concerns I would be happy to re-schedule for when you were home and document the reason why it was late

It doesn’t really matter what you’d be ‘happy with’ though does it? It’s not a compulsory service?

@SoyDora no it isn't but some parents want the HV in! What was wrong with what I said? I always try to be accommodating for my families

From what I read of OP's post was cancelling that initial visit - not the service. I may be wrong though!

Is it the same HV who sees your toddler? I'd have been too scared to cancel a visit with my first but now that I'm known to the HV I wouldn't think twice about postponing a visit.

Sorry nespressowoo I came across snippier than intended. I just meant that you can cancel/rearrange as you wish, there’s no obligation to see the HV.
I had a bad experience with an HV with my second DC, id just come out of intensive care having developed sepsis from mastitis when my baby was a week old and she turned up a day before she was due (I’d had a letter with an appointment time) and she yelled at me on my doorstep (me in a nightie with newborn attached to my breast) that I had to let her in as she was there for my benefit. So I’m probably a bit defensive!