Neighbour let himself in our garden and started knocking on our patio door

[Dontcomeinmygarden]

So. DH is in the shower. I’m upstairs. Ds is up and down. He comes and finds me and says ‘mummy, I think there is a man in our garden!’. I was thinking WTF and followed him downstairs to the garden door where indeed there was a man- my dopey neighbour standing staring in to our living room door. He had let himself in to our garden by putting his hand over the fence to unlock the gate, and decided to knock on our back door instead of going round the front and pressing the doorbell. I was really pissed off that he did that, I was walking round the house in my pjs and ds was panicked when he saw someone out there.

Turned out he just wanted to ask if we minded if he had a look at the guttering in case there was a blockage and needed to come our side a bit.

AIBU to be annoyed? My view of this might be a bit coloured by various other crap including them installing a set of drums in the kids bedroom, nicking a bit of our garden when they put the fence up, being offish and also him winking suggestively at me once just after I met him!

Babu it's her neighbour not a complete stranger!!

None of this "could I ask you..."

TELL him.

He's chancing his arm. Pushing boundaries. Seeing how much you're prepared to put up with.

Put something on the gate to stop him entering that way again and tell him personally or in a note "Do not enter my garden again...I have security cameras and if I catch you on my land I will call the police"

Costanza where are you from? Balamory?

A village in the north of England. My neighbour just brought my wheelie bin back into my back garden. He didn't ask and didn't need to.
Totally normal round here.

it's her neighbour not a complete stranger!!

even if my kids did recognise my neighbour, they are still be told to call the police if a grown-up man suddenly pops at the window when they are home alone.

How would you feel if you come home to see a male grown-up neighbour having a word with your teen daughter in her underwear? Unless there's a genuine emergency, there's no valid reason for trespassing onto other people's property.

Babuchak If your kids can’t be at home alone without having to phone the police when someone comes to the door, then they are not old enough or mature enough to be left.

And why would your daughter answer the door in her underwear?

The police are not there to vet visitors to your door and will tell you it’s not a police matter.

How would you feel if you come home to see a male grown-up neighbour having a word with your teen daughter in her underwear?

That's not what happened here though is it? That is a whole other issue.

when someone comes to the door, then they are not old enough or mature enough to be left.

And why would your daughter answer the door in her underwear?

we are not talking about someone at the front door, are you reading the thread?

We are talking about a neighbour walking into someone's back garden and tapping on the patio door. In my house, and many others, that means trespassing, walking past the bay windows/french doors and have a full view of the inside of the house.

My daughter is perfectly entitled to be in her underwear in the privacy of her own home. If someone trespass, that's what the police is for.

If I find someone in my kitchen or in my bedroom, I would call the cops too.

I didn’t say front door, I said “door”. The back door is a door.

And your daughter can obviously wear what she wants in the house, but would she really answer the door to the postie or window cleaner just in her underwear?

And trespass is a civil matter in England if I recall so not a police matter. Finding someone in your bedroom is clearly a matter for the police.

We really need to start educating the public about the misuse of police resources and the telephone system.

but would she really answer the door to the postie or window cleaner just in her underwear?

the postie and window cleaner ring the door bell of our FRONT door.
We are talking about neighbour letting themselves in and tapping on the PATIO door.

Can't you see the difference, really? I don't live in a bunker, my back door and side doors are definitively not the same as our front door.

Our neighbours knock and walk in the house. We do likewise to them

Like fuck would I ever be part of such an arrangement! Christ

that's exactly what the police is for!

It’s still not a police matter. You were the one that introduced your teen daughter in underwear to the thread which was random.

babuchak No it’s not. Take a wild guess at what I’ve been doing for a living for nearly 17 years?

It’s not a police matter for a neighbour to come to a door that isn’t the front door.

You were the one that introduced your teen daughter in underwear to the thread which was random.

why random? It could be any of us in their underwear, the back garden is private and if you come and have a look through our patio doors you will intrude our privacy and see what is none of your business.

Nicknacky
I don't know where you live, but there are constant reminders around here to call the police every single time you see someone in your back garden - usually low life coming to steal stuff!

If it happens to be innocent, the police can sort it out, it's not up to my kids to have to guess who is legit and who isn't.

Yes, but not a neighbour who has chapped a door or window!

And if your kids have to phone the police because someone comes to the door then they are not mature enough to be left.

Even my 11 year old can manage that.

it's not the door...

can't you really see the difference between a front door and a patio door which is exactly the same as walking into your home uninvited?

I haven't got such issues anyway, the dogs would take care of everything

I still teach my kids (and my mother!) to call the cops when someone trespass, it's safer.

can't you really see the difference between a front door and a patio door which is exactly the same as walking into your home uninvited?

it really isn't.

Calling the police because someone ( and in this case someone you KNOW!!) is a massive over reaction.

And the police will tell you it has nothing to do with them that the neighbour has chapped a door (no matter what door it is)

MN is never going to agree on this - it depends on where / how you've been brought up and your relationship with your neighbours.
I don't float around the house naked, and I've never had neighbours that I didn't get on with so I wouldn't have an issue with this.
I realise you will never convince a lot of MNer that this is a normal thing to do though.

And the police will tell you it has nothing to do with them that the neighbour has chapped a door

bollocks, if you call the police to tell them there's a man standing on your patio, they come.

If you call them to tell them there's a man standing in front of your front door, they'd tell you not to open the door if you're that worried

If you phone and tell them it’s your neighbour (which is what the thread is about, after all) they will politely tell you to piss off

I still teach my kids (and my mother!) to call the cops when someone trespass, it's safer

With a few exceptions, trespass is a civil matter. The police wouldn't be interested.

With a few exceptions, trespass is a civil matter. The police wouldn't be interested

I wasn't aware of the legal term, but in real life, we would not call quoting a "trespass" but telling the police that there's an uninvited man in our back garden which is a threat. Thankfully the police around here doesn't demand a law degree when you call them to report something