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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my summer born will be fine starting school in September 2020?

93 replies

worriedwinfred · 17/04/2019 12:31

DS was born mid July. I'm just asking if I'm being unfair to expect that he will be ok to start school in the year group he is expected to start in rather than applying to delay for a year?
He's really confident and intelligent and I feel he will definitely be ready however i wouldn't want to send him if it's not the best decision. Does anyone have experience of sending summer born children to school the September after they turn 4?were they ok?

OP posts:
Nnnnnineteen · 17/04/2019 12:35

Delaying a start is relatively rare, which means the majority of summer born children start in their relevant year group. As a teacher, some children do struggle, but this is not limited to summer borns. The hardest areas are often around self care skills, but a NT child does not need an extra year at home in order to master such skills. Chances are he will indeed be perfectly ready for school and other than potentially being really knackered, it shouldn't be an issue.

Thepacksurvives · 17/04/2019 12:35

I'm end of June and was always top of my class until high school. All my GCSE's bar one were B or higher.

My dd is summer born and starting this coming Sept. I've got absolutely no doubts about sending her.

My younger dd is July born. While I hope she'll be at the same stage as dd1 if I get worried I'll delay her. There's no point delaying for the sake of it, only if it's necessary

It's a very individual thing

NoSauce · 17/04/2019 12:36

I think it largely depends on the child, some children would fare better being held back a year and some do just fine. Sounds like your son would be ready from what you’ve said. One of mine is a late summer born and we couldn’t defer then but he would have definitely benefited from it. He’s year 9 and is just about catching up.

PlainSpeakingStraightTalking · 17/04/2019 12:39

Im sure there is some statistical data, but TBH, in my experience (large primary with 3 form entry) the summer borns stormed the 11+ and took up grammar places, they also did exceedingly well at A level and GCSE. IMHO it's all a bit of a myth.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 17/04/2019 12:39

I blooming hope so, my August baby will be starting when she should.
My understanding (from watching my niece and nephew start school etc) is its making them practically ready, i.e. able to use the loo by themselves/ their communication etc- I dont believe those things are solely down to when they are born.

Original poster
worriedwinfred · 17/04/2019 12:40

See I did think it was only if necessary however my friend added me to a Facebook group where they talk about the children deserving the extra year of play etc and it's made me feel really guilty!

OP posts:
Bythepath · 17/04/2019 12:41

I have 3 DC. My youngest and oldest are born in the summer (July and August) and my middle in November. They are all girls and it has been my middle one who took the longest to adjust to school and if she had been born in August, deferring may have been right for her. The other 2 despite being only just 4 were fine and thriving straight away. So in my experience it is all about the individual child.

Hellohah · 17/04/2019 12:42

DS is a July birthday, and where I live they can go to school from 3. (It's the nursery, but same hours, teachers, uniform etc in the same building as reception). He was absolutely fine

Putthatlampshadeonyourhead · 17/04/2019 12:43

My daughter is July born.

She was fine. Always was and still is an academically high achiever. She is now 15.

You know your child. I think if a parent really thinks it will impact their child and want to defer, that's fine. It's also fine to just crack on and send your child

NoSauce · 17/04/2019 12:43

Ignore your friend. Look at your child and decide. Every child is different.

Angrybird123 · 17/04/2019 12:44

My August born boy would have hugely benefitted from delaying but it wasn't option a few years ago. He is about 18months behind in most areas I would say and suffers also in being less often picked for sports etc because he is simply smaller than his peers who are 11 months older. But as others have said it absolutely depends on the individual child.

firawla · 17/04/2019 12:44

I have an August born and a late June, both were fine! I can understand delaying if the child was premature and really due in October but born in August or something but for the typical child it seems unnecessary to delay them - someone has to be the youngest! I have an August birthday myself and it was never a problem

Moonbea · 17/04/2019 12:45

@worriedwinfred

Reception is basically play though. It's really not that different to nursery in that respect.

dangermouseisace · 17/04/2019 12:45

YANBU. Your son will absolutely be ok. Reception is not much different to nursery. I have 2 summer children and they both really enjoyed reception. My eldest is a mid August baby, and I’m so glad he started when he did as he is intelligent, and has always been one of the higher achievers. If I’d waited a year I dread to think how bored he would have been.

Funnily enough the only one if my children that struggled at all with reception was my February child- he would be knackered by the end of Thursday. I kept him at home on Fridays for about a month with the agreement of the school, each child is different and you can’t tell how things will pan out from birth month alone.

Gizmo79 · 17/04/2019 12:46

My son is end of August and no problems so far in yr1 and my daughter is mid July, and again absolutely no problems in year 8.
They catch up quick, and mature at the rate of their peers.

pinksquash13 · 17/04/2019 12:46

Statistics show summer born children are the worst performing in primary tests at year 2 and year 6. That is just the average child. Of course plenty of summer born children do very well just like some September borns will struggle. In my experience, there are very few children not ready for full time school when they are due to attend e.g. maybe 1 or 2 out of 60.

Glitterblue · 17/04/2019 12:51

My DD is summer born and has always been in the top groups at school whereas some of the September born ones, who are almost a year older than her, are in the bottom groups or even sent to the class below for some subjects. DD's best friend has a mid July birthday and is in the top groups.

AmethystRaven · 17/04/2019 12:53

I have a June baby who is in foundation and she has been absolutely fine all the way through. I know she would be bored to death if she'd been kept back a year!

With my nephew we celebrated his 4th birthday on the August back holiday weekend then he started school that week! He has had no problems whatsoever.

If you don't have any concerns he will likely be just fine. The teacher will be well used to having varied abilities and ages in the class too.

MaverickSnoopy · 17/04/2019 12:56

Same boat here. DD2 is July born and due to start foundation in Sept 2020. She'll be starting at the school nursery this September to become familiar with the surroundings, make friends and get a basic understanding of school which I hope will help her to settle in faster at foundation stage. She'll only be doing half days in nursery though so that she can come home and nap and have lunch etc.

I've been working on lots of self care things for a while - getting dressed, toilet on her own, drinking out of open top cup, putting her own shoes on, using stairs unaided etc. She's been out of her buggy for 20 min walks for about 7 or 8 months and I've been trying to encourage independence where possible. She's really thriving and I think the more you practice the faster they get it. We also do counting, colours, animals etc at home and once she starts nursery that will pick up the pace too.

I think the more you do stuff at home the easier it will be for him. Personally if she needs to be kept back then that's what we'll do, if she doesn't then we won't. We'll see how it goes. Try not to put too much pressure on yourself.

Fwiw I was kept back in year 2 and repeated it having started school the day after my 4th birthday. I was fine to start school age 4 but I wasn't emotionally ready to start year 3 only just 7 years old. I was sad at being away from my friends at first but I made lovely new friends and was fine.

RavenLG · 17/04/2019 13:07

I was an August baby and youngest in my school year. I was always miles ahead in primary, top of reading, maths etc. Was in top set classes in secondary school, did triple science and double english GCSE. I was fine (I achieved average grades but that was because I was lazy rather than capable) but went on to do a degree so not all bad.

I think it depends on the child as an individual not an age. And as Snoopy said, doing things at home as much as possible gives them a great boost,

Sunshineandshowers81 · 17/04/2019 13:08

Summer born boys statistically do worse when it comes to GCSE and A-levels. Of course you will have lots of summer born boys that do just fine but the statistics show that overall boys born in the summer do worse than their peers.

Spaceman101 · 17/04/2019 13:15

I think it's a good idea to defer. It's not really a problem in reception it's from then on that I foresee problems. For those who are saying their summer born were fine in my opinion wouldn't it be better if they were more than fine. Obviously each school and child is different so only you can answer this really. I've chosen to send my summer born to an independent school where he will be get lots of of support but realise not everyone can do this. You know your child better than anyone else but I would definitely give it some serious consideration.

TwoBlueFish · 17/04/2019 13:25

My youngest DS is late August birthday and started school on time. Academically he’s always done fine (Y10 now) but was emotionally young (especially during nursery & reception), this raised a couple of issues with friendships but was soon sorted.

yoursworried · 17/04/2019 13:28

My mid-July boy is off to school in September. He is toilet trained, can listen and behave, write his name, count to 20, recognise numbers to 20 and behave appropriately socially. Can't see what holding him back would achieve.

BarrenFieldofFucks · 17/04/2019 13:30

Some are, some aren't. My daughter was a mid August baby and not ready for school at 4 and a few weeks.