To be a bit pissed off by no child rule at wedding

[RoseLillian]

Invited to the evening reception of a family wedding (not immediate family). No children allowed apart from those of immediate family. No issue with that. For me the kids made our wedding, but everyone has different feelings, so their wedding their choice. Unfortunately we were unable to go as youngest DD is breastfeeding (the wedding a distance away so would require an overnight stay). Plus no childcare. Without going into too much detail one side of family at wedding and other side parent very sick and has since passed away. Explained about childcare issues when declined the invite.

Since the wedding photos have appeared on Facebook including pictures of none immediate family with their DS’ in the picture. It turns out the couple have split up and he asked if he could bring them and couple who’s wedding it was agreed.

Feel sorry for the couple that split up. I do think you can’t make allowances for one person and not another though. AIBU to feel a bit pissed off that we couldn’t go because of no child rule and then they let someone else bring along their kids.

YABVU.

It’s their wedding, not yours

We were invited to a child free wedding when DS1 was tiny and still breastfeeding. It was 250 miles from home and a relatively early start. We had to decline, as there was no way we could have left him for two nights.

I had only met the couple at our wedding, so I wasn’t too bothered. My in laws were upset though, as they did attend and there were loads of children there. I understand that it can sting a bit when you feel that child free wedding means not your child (or in this case, grandchild, because DH & I were unbothered) and I think especially so when you have a baby who doesn’t require a seat/a catered meal.

They might have had spaces left near the end (e.g. because you and others had declined) so said he could bring his children. I think some people invite some children and not others to try and prevent it turning into a childrens disco. I went to a wedding where only the couple's family could bring their children and one of their friends kicked off in the run up when they were told it was only family children invited. She turned up with her 2 children with no excuse other than she thought no one would mind really and that was the end of the friendship.

Maybe they agreed out of pity, because the couple had split up.

@lulubella
"Have you not thought about the poor bride and groom who were clearly asked if someone could bring their children, putting them in an awkward position after they’d said no children?
They obviously said Yes, probably to be kind and keep the peace.*"

I agree with Lulu here, I actually feel sorry for the Bride and Groom, they didn't want any kids at their wedding but probably felt put in a socially awkward position by that dad who wanted to bring his DS and the couple felt they had to agree despite it not being their plan.

We were invited to a child free wedding, fine, made arrangements but were then seated on the same table as the bride’s nieces & nephews - I completely get that it is OK to invite family but please think about the seating plan. We had a really tedious experience & I am sure the children didn’t want to sit with us either.

Yes you are. Let it go.

Well I think YANBU! I’ve been to a child-free wedding before but BF babies were the exception and were allowed. There’s nothing you can do about it now though.

Yabu. I don't think people should try and carry through with the same rule for everyone but in honesty there are people I would have made an exception for.

At my wedding we only had DD and DNephew. Inviting kids would have meant 45 kids! 3 of husbands family asked if they could bring there's 😩 I said no and they declined to come (totally fine no falling out or anything). One of my best friends called up 4 days before and said her ex was refusing to have their DS so she couldn't come, I said she could bring him as it was really important to me that she was there. In the end he agreed to have DS so she came without him but basically my point is whether people like it or not some people are more important to the bride and groom

My husbands cousin turned up with his kids (teenagers who neither of us have ever met) to our wedding despite us saying no kids as we did it late in the day & not enough space. They weren't even embarrassed that a couple of our friends had to stand so for the ceremony as their kids had seats & then they dragged chairs over & added them to their table for the meal. The kids weren't a problem, however we'd never met them & friends had to make childcare arrangements for children we knew (even my goddaughter!). No apology, nothing!

Why can't people seem to understand that "no children" does not mean "no children except yours"?

I can see why you’re annoyed. But let it go, people make contradictory decisions all the time and you could spend your life feeling pissed off.

To the pp who said people who don’t have kids at their weddings are miserable gits, nope, not a miserable git, wouldn’t have had kids at my wedding regardless of the reasons. Love kids l,work with them all day, just didn’t want them at my wedding, end of.😁

@eurgh wow! That’s so out of order!!!

@TrendyNorthLondonTeen because people often think these rules / requests apply to everybody apart from them. Because they are different / special / unique in some way (delete as applicable)