People “helping” in the kitchen

[MrsSteve]

I have a “difficult” relationship with my sister.

24 hours is an effort and I have to bite my tongue. She can be bossy, highly critical of me (in front of my children for years), and explains things to me as if I am a bit dim. She will argue black is white to me.

I am in my 40s, have professional career and brought my children up alone before I married my DH.

She visited with her family. I planned out and cooked meals (I used to have a career in catering - cooking - like to pride myself on being a fairly decent cook and cook for 8/10 people on a regular basis). I have a smallish kitchen and tbf it’s my “domain” and two small for two people.

So she comes and “helps” and I give her jobs so she can’t take over.

This results in her basically standing over me telling me how to cook (put olive oil in the pasta so it doesn’t stick together - I have heard advice re this on the contrary but did it anyway, that bacon needs turning, we fry our mushrooms whole etc etc) I joked at one point “I do cook when you aren’t here” but in the end I just snapped at her as she was stood over me bloody scrutinising everything - and she said “ there’s no need to get stressed”

How the fuck to other people deal with people like this?!

Wine.

😂😂

@mbosnz
Totally agree
I just give them chopping jobs at the kitchen table.
If you give them the shortest jobs possible they’ll soon give up!

shittiest even

DH can be like this (never cooked a meal in his life!) .... a simple “f@#* off” usually works.

Draw faces on your mushrooms. Her face. Will make chopping so much more satisfying...

She is your sister and obviously feels comfortable enough around you to be herself with out any social nicieties.
I would follow suit and say something like “You’re actually doing my head in sis, why don’t you leave me to it so I don’t fucking punch you.”
Or something to that effect.

I just would not dream of standing in someone else’s kitchen and telling how to cook.

I’m with you op.
I tend to get them to chop up onions
Or just say I would rather you poured me a wine and then buggered off.

Or you could try presenting her with a very large chef's knife, pointy end towards her, asking 'do you want to take over'?

Thing is the relationship is so bloody tense 😂😂

Every time my mum comes into my house she stirs whatever is on the stove. Every time! She turned egg fried rice into eggy rice pudding once. I feel your pain.

mbosnz

😂😂

Omg the stirring!!!!!

My mil dithers in my kitchen when shes over.
I snapped once and told her I like to do things my way in my kitchen, she snapped back and said she feels the same but I'm always bothering her to 'help'
Now we just ignore each others kitchens and get on bloody famously.

I would straight up tell her you don't need any help and you don't like people in the kitchen when you're cooking.

Drives me mad when there’s more than 1 cook. DH is a great cook. MIL is a great cook. Whenever she stays, they cook “together”. It takes them forever, they debate method and make a big bloody mess. I’d prefer to cook it myself ALONE

Fuck knows. I'm terrified of my DSis. Love her but she bites.

I’ve just fashioned myself as a nazi in the kitchen and everyone now knows the score.

You need to be more assertive!!

I said she could come and chat to me 😂😂

Schoolboy error!!!
She takes that as “help” you

Meandwinealone

😂😂

You and I should meet up. And get takeout. . .

@mbosnz

😂😂😂

The relationship is tense because you don't tell her to fuck off. It does wonders