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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Are WE the CFs here or neighbours??

553 replies

TigersRoll · 16/04/2019 16:56

3 houses share our driveway (including ours). So you get the 1st house and then ours next to each other and then at the end you get the 3rd house. 3rd house is a big house and has a double driveway (prob enough room for 3 cars anyway). 1st and 2nd house have a tiny section of driveway each, ours been the smallest, barely big enough for one car.

Anyway, DH likes to faff with his car, our driveway is too small to do anything on so during the day when everyone is at work he pulls it into the shared bit. Occasionally he parks his work van on the shared bit but basically, if anything is on the shared bit, 3rd house can’t get to their driveway which is why DH does it when everyone is at work.

This worked well for ages, occasionally woman next door would come home early but would park at the top on the street and walk down. One time all of a sudden she came home at 11am (!) came storming down the driveway carrying a number of bags (she’s a nurse) and muttered something about so much for buying a house with a driveway”. DH was confused as she’s never mentioned it before but he moved his car straight away anyway.
A week or so later we had workmen at the house and they parked on the shared drive. She came home from worked, marched up to the workmen and told them they had to move. This meant packing up tools, ladders and various other stuff before reversing out of the drive just so she could park next to her house. As soon as she was in they moved everything back, low and behold they came out almost immediately and said they had to move as she was going out. They did, she went out and reappeared 15 minutes later again telling the workmen they had to move everything!!! Surely if she knew she was going back out she could have just parked at top of drive where there is tons of room??

Anyway she appears to be making a point of doing this now everytime DH has something on the shared driveway but has never actually spoken to him about it!

Last night we got an angry knock on the door. Her husband was stood there and he looked at our car and said “can you move it” in a really snappy tone. It’s a big car (Land Rover) and as our driveway is so small the arse of it sometimes sticks out into the shared bit. Unfortunately neighbour also has a Land Rover making getting past a bit of a squeeze. DH looked at the car and the space (as it was on our driveway) and the bloke snapped “I’m not scratching my car again trying to get past. Move it”. DH then had to move the car so it was practically touching our garage door. This bloke has always been very pleasant before so it seems so out of character!

AIBU to think his wife has started some kind of vendetta against us and roped him into it or is it our fault??

OP posts:
AdobeWanKenobi · 16/04/2019 17:17

Yep, you're the CF's

It usually states that shared access is to be kept clear at all times. You can't suddenly decide to pick and choose a time to block it.

Whodafeck · 16/04/2019 17:17

I’m actually staggered at your cheek.

AryaStarkWolf · 16/04/2019 17:17

This bit though?? Cheeky fuckery of the highest order. If this isn't a reverse you need some self awareness OP

"AIBU to think his wife has started some kind of vendetta against us and roped him into it"

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 16/04/2019 17:18

You are. We used to live somewhere with a very similar driveway and it's beyond annoying when it's blocked by someone being selfish.

You'll find they would have let the workmen use it, most probably, if you hadn't already royally taken the piss. Now they are going to fiercely defend every inch of shared driveway.

DH needs to drive up the road to tinker, do it on your drive or in the garage. You both need to make sure you are not blocking the shared driveway at all. It'll die down into civilness at some point.

SomewhereInbetween1 · 16/04/2019 17:18

Yabu

GetOffTheTableMabel · 16/04/2019 17:19

She is entitled to drive up and down that bit of road all the live long day and you are NEVER entitled to park on the shared access. There are no circumstances in which your behaviour is reasonable. It is not sure that your neighbours have finally lost all patience with your ill-mannered, selfish behaviour. I find it staggering that you would have to ask this. Your poor neighbours.

Dottierichardson · 16/04/2019 17:19

YABU you don't know what's happening in your neighbour's lives, and it sounds as if you're making day to day things difficult for them. Having to carry shopping - which may have been a final straw and for all you know the neighbour may have health or other problems that make that even more of a pain. Also if your workman parked without notice presumably you didn't give them a heads-up about the work either which may also have been disruptive. We all let each other know about things like that where I live and as a consequence hardly ever any neighbours falling out. Sometimes people put up with things and finally they snap, they were being accommodating and it doesn't sound as if you ever recognised that, thanked them...also tinkering with cars can be very noisy and annoying particularly if it's regular. I lived near someone like this for a while and the constant noise was really irritating. If they also damaged their car that's another point against you. YOU plural are the problem here.

SuperSara · 16/04/2019 17:20

Sorry, OP, but YABU.

Illberidingshotgun · 16/04/2019 17:20

Sorry, YABU. Your DH should not be tinkering on the shared drive, that's not essential, and he is working on the premise that everyone works the same, regular hours each week. If you have anyone working on your house who needs temporary access to the shared drive (eg to transport heavy items etc) then you would need to agree this with your neighbours first, and agree a suitable time.

Katterinaballerina · 16/04/2019 17:20

This has to be a wind up. Surely noone could be that oblivious.

Whodafeck · 16/04/2019 17:21

How long have you been being so cheeky for?

Wellfuckmeinbothears · 16/04/2019 17:21

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Chocolate1984 · 16/04/2019 17:21

I’m surprised you had to ask. You are blocking her access, she had to park on the road and walk down. She tolerated it for so long but now she is completely pissed off.

JonSlow · 16/04/2019 17:22

Eagerly waiting the “of course it’s a reverse” bullshit when they realise they are being a cockwomble of the highest order.

Knittedfairies · 16/04/2019 17:23

A unanimous verdict is something of a rarity on MN!

TickTockBaby · 16/04/2019 17:23

Must be a reverse surely?!
Of course you're a CF for blocking someone's access to their property!! It doesn't matter what time of day they come home they paid for their house with the reasonable expectation of being able to get to it!

If your husband has a car tinkering hobby you should have considered this when looking for a property surely? Same with having "a Land Rover that can barely fit on the drive"

You are definitely being a CF.

BossAssBitch · 16/04/2019 17:23

You and your DH are a pair of CF.

Go and apologise profusely for your thoughtless behaviour; flowers, waving a white flag and your tail between your legs should do it.

Good neighbourly relations are so important.

Sunonthepatio · 16/04/2019 17:23

Your post reads "we need this, we like to do that".

The neighbours don't care, and why should they? You live in a house with particular rights. Do not exceed them, and expect people to accommodate your extra wishes. Wanting what you don't have means that you are in effect taking theirs. They shouldn't have to tolerate it and you and your DH should already have worked that out.

yourestandingonmyneck · 16/04/2019 17:25

From my understanding, your problem stems from thinking that part of the set up is a "shared driveway". If parking there prohibits neighbours from accessing their house/driveway, the shared bit is not a "driveway". My guess is that it is a right of access to each driveway, and as such, it should not be blocked. Therefore you are in the wrong.

JustTwoMoreSecs · 16/04/2019 17:25

Is this thread now going to be deleted for «privacy reasons» or will the OP be gracious and admit she was wrong?...

CocoCharlie83 · 16/04/2019 17:25

OP you are a prick if you act like this with the shared drive and you are a prick if this is a reverse as the shared drive like this is so obviously prick behaviour of the highest order that it is a waste of everyone's time because a reverse isn't needed

78percentLindt · 16/04/2019 17:25

We have a shared drive and it can be a pain. You are being seriously unreasonable even asking the question. It doesn't matter how many cars they can park on their drive- you are stopping them getting to their spaces. Your workmen really would have annoyed me in their position.
If we or our neighbours might potentially block each other in, we always knock to check if the others need to go out and say how long we will be. 9/10 we can get in or out round each other. Might you, it was a near thing with their JL lorry last week!
I guess they have got to the end of their tether with you.

IvanaPee · 16/04/2019 17:27

OP is gone. Again.

TheHodgeoftheHedge · 16/04/2019 17:27

Yes you’re epic CFers and it sounds like your neighbour has finally had enough.

Stop being wankers. Simple.

Order654 · 16/04/2019 17:27

You are cf. stop parking on the shared drive.