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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Are WE the CFs here or neighbours??

553 replies

TigersRoll · 16/04/2019 16:56

3 houses share our driveway (including ours). So you get the 1st house and then ours next to each other and then at the end you get the 3rd house. 3rd house is a big house and has a double driveway (prob enough room for 3 cars anyway). 1st and 2nd house have a tiny section of driveway each, ours been the smallest, barely big enough for one car.

Anyway, DH likes to faff with his car, our driveway is too small to do anything on so during the day when everyone is at work he pulls it into the shared bit. Occasionally he parks his work van on the shared bit but basically, if anything is on the shared bit, 3rd house can’t get to their driveway which is why DH does it when everyone is at work.

This worked well for ages, occasionally woman next door would come home early but would park at the top on the street and walk down. One time all of a sudden she came home at 11am (!) came storming down the driveway carrying a number of bags (she’s a nurse) and muttered something about so much for buying a house with a driveway”. DH was confused as she’s never mentioned it before but he moved his car straight away anyway.
A week or so later we had workmen at the house and they parked on the shared drive. She came home from worked, marched up to the workmen and told them they had to move. This meant packing up tools, ladders and various other stuff before reversing out of the drive just so she could park next to her house. As soon as she was in they moved everything back, low and behold they came out almost immediately and said they had to move as she was going out. They did, she went out and reappeared 15 minutes later again telling the workmen they had to move everything!!! Surely if she knew she was going back out she could have just parked at top of drive where there is tons of room??

Anyway she appears to be making a point of doing this now everytime DH has something on the shared driveway but has never actually spoken to him about it!

Last night we got an angry knock on the door. Her husband was stood there and he looked at our car and said “can you move it” in a really snappy tone. It’s a big car (Land Rover) and as our driveway is so small the arse of it sometimes sticks out into the shared bit. Unfortunately neighbour also has a Land Rover making getting past a bit of a squeeze. DH looked at the car and the space (as it was on our driveway) and the bloke snapped “I’m not scratching my car again trying to get past. Move it”. DH then had to move the car so it was practically touching our garage door. This bloke has always been very pleasant before so it seems so out of character!

AIBU to think his wife has started some kind of vendetta against us and roped him into it or is it our fault??

OP posts:
TwoBlueFish · 16/04/2019 17:08

YABU i’m Afraid, you bought a house with a drive that’s too small for your car. It’s really annoying having to keep asking a neighbour to move.

I live in a small cul-de-sac and all the neighbours have to be courteous, if someone is having a delivery that may block the road they let the affected neighbours know so that we can maybe park around the corner for that day, but nobody takes the piss and does it regularly.

Janleverton · 16/04/2019 17:08

Sounds like you guys are in the wrong. And if you can’t park your current car fully on your land, then you need to think about getting a smaller car that will fit.

VanillaCoconutDove · 16/04/2019 17:09

It sounds like what you’re describing is an a shared access, access being the operative word, blocking the access by parking obstructs your neighbours use of their property.

This makes your husband a dickhead.

TigersRoll · 16/04/2019 17:10

Diagram. The diagonal lines are the private driveways. Sorry it’s not very good!

Are WE the CFs here or neighbours??
OP posts:
Whodafeck · 16/04/2019 17:10

You are in the wrong

You’d need to see the deeds but if they have the right of way over the shared bit to get to their drive you can’t block that. Ever.

They’re doing the right thing making you move every time.

Cheeky fuckers you are. Move the car and don’t block the drive way

PCohle · 16/04/2019 17:10

So you're often using the shared section of the driveway in a way that prevents them from accessing their private section of the drive?

Yes, YABU. The shared bit for access, not for your DH to ticker with shit. It must really piss your neighbours off constantly having to ask you/your workmen to move.

I'm really not sure why you think your neighbours are being cheeky - for wanting to use their drive way? Or for not speaking to you nicely enough about it? What were you expecting "I'm so so sorry, but pretty pretty please could you move so that I can use my own driveway"?

flumposie · 16/04/2019 17:10

my first yabu - sorry .

MadisonMontgomery · 16/04/2019 17:10

Surely this is a reverse?! If not you and your DH need to give your heads a serious wobble if you think there is any way you are not massively in the wrong.

Holidayshopping · 16/04/2019 17:11

You are being cheeky. People should be able to access their own driveways!!

howabout · 16/04/2019 17:11

YABU

Infuriating when you have private parking only to have some entitled arse of a neighbour who thinks they can block it cos you don't happen to be going in and out of it every 5 minutes.

IHateUncleJamie · 16/04/2019 17:11

Yikes, YABU I’m afraid. 😳 You’re preventing your neighbours from accessing their own driveway. No wonder the woman is huffy.

Is the front of your house wide enough to have a double driveway? Do you have a front garden you can convert?

IvanaPee · 16/04/2019 17:11

This reply has been deleted

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DiagramFan · 16/04/2019 17:12

You and the husband are cheeky fuckers. Deep down, you know.

harriethoyle · 16/04/2019 17:12

Yadbu

enjoyingscience · 16/04/2019 17:12

It’s you. Sorry. Blocking shared access is rude, and if you instructed workmen to use it it’s embarrassing for them and you. Tinkering in the access road is also rude.

ThatssomebadhatHarry · 16/04/2019 17:13

Yabu. I think your perception of “occasionally” is different to theirs. The husband is not suddenly rude, you have done this. You can choose to fix it by apologising and taking them some flowers, reassuring them it won’t happen again. Or continue to be a dick.
She’s a nurse so massively stressed and wants to be able to use the drive she paid for. Do the right thing op.

FFSFFSFFS · 16/04/2019 17:13

You and you're husband are being VERY CF

Candleglow7475 · 16/04/2019 17:13

You’re the CF - you are blocking / hogging the shared bit.
You are trying to grab a bit of extra space from the shared bit for yourself Can’t you see this?

RaptorInaPorkPieHat · 16/04/2019 17:14

YABU

Shared driveways are the work of the devil though.

CocoCharlie83 · 16/04/2019 17:15

YABU and a CF. You are causing your neighbours inconvenience for the sake of your own convenience

JonSlow · 16/04/2019 17:15

1/10 for the diagram. Where is the car when in dispute?

SosigDog · 16/04/2019 17:15

All three of you have a right of way over the shared bit to access your houses. You can’t block that right of way. In fact, even if the shared bit wasn’t shared and you actually owned it yourself, you still couldn’t park on it and block peoples right of way across it. I’m surprised they haven’t consulted a solicitor by now!

Roussette · 16/04/2019 17:16

I'm not sure how you would think blocking a shared driveway is an OK thing to do!

Ever!!

(It sounds like you do it all the time!)

DeathyMcDeathStarFace · 16/04/2019 17:16

Wow, if you want a lot of responses just start a parking/access thread!

OP, your OP could have been shorter. We keep blocking neighbours access to their two driveways with our car/van/workmen's vehicle. They are getting ranty. We are being unreasonable and entitled, yes?

Or, of course, it could be a reverse.

Scrumptiousbears · 16/04/2019 17:17

I agree with others that your are in the wrong. If the drive wasn't big enough for your needs you shouldn't have bought the house.

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