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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to feel shamed

69 replies

ShinyShoe · 16/04/2019 12:02

by my DH every time we socialise lately?

We've been married a long time and have small kids. Things have been difficult over the last couple of years but we've had marriage counselling and are working through things. I'm prepared to be told I'm being over-sensitive and mostly when he makes shitty remarks/comments I just gloss over it or ignore but I'm feeling shamed? Maybe. I'm not sure. I just feel really annoyed lately when he says something wrong/inconsiderate to me or about me when we are out with friends in social situations. I've noticed that other peoples DHs don't do that. they might rant about politics or other people but they don't say shitty/shamey things about their spouses in front of others? Its happened 4 times over the last 3 social occasions in the last couple of weeks. All different occasions and different friends. For example, yesterday we were all chit chatting about holidaying with parents/in laws and he started talking about my mother, how diffficult, aggressive, angry, loud she is and that "explains why ShamuShamu is the way she is" taken aback I then glossed over it and made a jokey comment about my family been like a big italian family and you have to fight your ground which isn't actually true anyway. Nobody dwelled on it and conversation carried on but I'm left thinking WTF? It feels that he's writing a narrative that isn't actually true about me and my personality? Does that make sense? Can anyone throw any light on this? My friends and family tell me how kind and lovely I am. I have friends that I've known for many many years. I hate confrontation so I'm not an aggressive type at all! In fact my family tell me I should stand up for myself more! My kids come to me and my DH tells me I am a pushover with them and mollycoddle them so I'm not sure how that fits at all with this angry/aggressive narrative?!! Anyway, its not the content of the remarks thats important really as they are all different content/narrative. Comments about me being a bad parent, angry, lazy etc...its the fact that he's making them in public? Has anybody else had this and can anyone advise? Its impossible to bring this up with him because he then goes into defense mode. I'm being difficult and accusatory or he didn't say it or mean it like that. Any advice would be very gratefully received.

OP posts:
Boysey45 · 16/04/2019 15:07

I'd just get a pitcher of water or beer and pour it over his head every time he did it.He soon stop it off.

Hes a cunt and has no respect for you at all.

Teddybear45 · 16/04/2019 15:14

My husband used to do this to me until I started doing it back to him. Turned out I could find a lot more things wrong about him than he ever could about me, and he stopped really quickly.

NewFoneWhoDis · 16/04/2019 15:14

My uncle used to do this all the time to his wife and it was dreadful. I definitely judged him for it, and wondered how she put up with him.

In all other ways he was lovely and could have been someone I admired and respected as a child except for the way he spoke to his wife. So it's a shame that those are the enduring memories of him that I have. His wife was a beautiful person inside and out and I remember her for that.

You probably need to think up a few stock phrases - several on thread here are good, pick ones you feel comfortable using and privately practice a way of delivery that works in public for you.

Unburnished · 16/04/2019 15:21

My ex used to do this.

He’s doing it because he has low self esteem, is jealous of you, and wants to put you down so that he feels better about himself.

My ex had a horrible father who did the same to his mother. That's where he learned it.

When we were out socially, he' d make one of his remarks and other people would just stand and stare silently (probably thinking WTF?)

He'd say things like "Oh Unburnished wouldn't know anything about nice things as she comes from a council estate in Stoke - it's just like Beiruit - ha ha!" He'd look at me for a reaction and then laugh (I was young so didn't know what to do or say beyond "You know that I grew up in a private house in Stowe-by-Chartley (Stafford)." He'd do it with other things as well, like clothes, cars, education etc.. I was very quite and eager to please and keep the peace so didn't say anything.

Twenty years later, he found me, told me that he was in therapy and had been encouraged to approach those he'd 'wronged' and said that he'd done it because he was insecure and wanted to keep me down and unsure of myself so I didn't leave him. H also said he enjoyed bringing me down publicly as it made him feel powerful.

Don't show him this thread whatever you do.

ginghamtablecloths · 16/04/2019 15:32

He is being cruel and a taste of his own medicine wouldn't go amiss.

HollowTalk · 16/04/2019 17:00

I would start to get your ducks in a row, OP. This man is clearly angry at you for whatever reason. It could be he's just a nasty piece of work. It could be he's jealous (sounds like you have more friends/you're easier to get on with.) It could be he's seeing someone else and he's sort of showing off to her even though she's not there at the time.

How do others react when he says those things? I think this acts as a good reminder to us that if someone said that in public we should be on the woman's side.

What's your home situation - mortgage/rented? Do you have joint accounts? Do you work full time?

HollowTalk · 16/04/2019 17:01

And don't show him this thread. This should be your safe space.

ShinyShoe · 16/04/2019 23:01

Thanks everyone. I’m reading all of these comments and absorbing. I tried approaching him earlier to talk about it and started by saying I’d like to talk because I feel hurt and embarrassed by his behaviour since the weekend. It didn’t go well. He admitted he had said those things. So that’s a change from normal because he’d normally deny even saying it. He said it was in context with other people moaning about their parents. I said yes, they were moaning about THEIR parents. You moaned about mine and then used it to derogorate me. Nobody else did that or ever does that. He didn’t apologise. Acknowledged that I felt that way but apparently I always feel that way, it’s not his issue it’s mine and once again I’m getting angry and shouting, which I wasn’t at that point but the conversation deteriorated and I did end up getting upset and telling him to piss off after also telling him that he makes me feel like shit, it’s not ok to say those things and I’m considering ending the marriage because of it. Not proud of swearing at him but I’ve had enough of the way he talks to me. I don’t do that to him in front of friends, other people don’t do it to their partners and I am not a psycho for being upset at his behaviour. I have a right to expect to be treated at least with basic courtesy. I’m sort of past caring now. I’ve spent years trying to just get him to be nice to me. He has been better but it’s precarious (like this weekend has shown). Even if he said “oh my god I’m so sorry I didn’t realise I’d said it like that” then I could work with that. I’d have sympathy and understanding but to ride roughshod over my hurt feelings is pretty shit. I know that if somebody told me that I’d said something that hurt them then I’d do everything in my power to make that up to them and not do it again. I just feel like I don’t even know who I am anymore because the things he says about me are so crappy that if he’s right then I have no idea why we are even still married. Then I think well, I might as well get out now then because the hammers going to fall at some point right? None of this is good and my mental health is at an all time low

OP posts:
Babdoc · 16/04/2019 23:10

I think your mental health would mysteriously improve if you got rid of your awful partner, OP!
Don’t let him grind you down or lose confidence in yourself. The problem is him, not you.

EKGEMS · 16/04/2019 23:14

I'm glad you gave him a piece of your mind-just reading your posts on his behavior enrages me! I think you should preemptively strike and file for divorce on the grounds of cruelty-you deserve a happy,peaceful life. He deserves to kept in a cage and be fed with a stick

AtrociousCircumstance · 16/04/2019 23:22

Oh OP. It sounds awful really. It doesn’t sound like he’s a nice person to devote your one and only life to. Your mental health would buoy up without that kind of gaslighty undermining criticism in your life.

Remember it’s very basic and very true: no one likes being undermined and criticised by anyone. It’s never ok. Your life partner should be your support and your cheerleader. Not your school bully who tries to force you to pretend that he’s nice really or that your feelings about it don’t matter.

Peachesandcream14 · 16/04/2019 23:30

My ex always used to do this, it was honestly heartbreaking at the beginning, we would be out with friends and I would really notice the difference in how they spoke to/about their partners and how he would put me down and mock or belittle me, it wasn't just lighthearted teasing. He would also make up things I had supposedly said which I couldn't refute without looking crazy, such as saying I was insecure that people thought we were a mismatched couple because he was in such good shape and I wasn't (I was a size 8 and had recently had a baby) I had never thought that, and actually felt very good about my body at that point - he just needed to dent my confidence publically. By the end I fucking hated him for it, and I still do tbh because it decimated my self esteem, even though I knew what he was saying wasn't a true representation of me, it just hurt that someone who claimed to love me could treat me with such utter cruelty and contempt. I doubt men like this can change, they are deeply insecure misogynists and need to feel powerful by keeping you down. I'd be LTBing if I were you, I highly doubt this is his only bad point

Jux · 17/04/2019 00:19

Well done for getting through to him as far as you did! That's no small feat.

I don't think anyone would blame you for ending the marriage, and I'm pretty sure most of your friends have noticed how he speaks to you anyway and are wondering how and why you put up with it.

If you do leave him, make sure you tell everyone the truth of it. He deserves that at least.

Ce7913 · 17/04/2019 02:29

Your husband is emotionally and verbally abusive, and does not seem to like or respect you much at all.

Your normal meter is broken from years of exposure to him.

You are his wife, the mother of his children. He made vows to love you, to honour you, to protect you, to put you first, to have your back.

Instead, he repeatedly belittles you in public, making contemptuous and derogatory comments that malign you, your character, your contributions etc.

There are any number of reasons why men like him do this:

A. To manipulate others' perceptions of you, either

  • to make himself look better in comparison, or
  • to undermine your social network and thereby your exposure to outside perspectives and access to potentially supportive outsiders.

B. To assuage his own personal feelings of inadequacy or social anxiety by putting you down

C. To undermine your self-esteem and social confidence, to 'drag you down' and make sure you 'don't get too big for your boots' and 'know your place'.

D. A natural continuation of the casual, everyday contempt he has for you

E. Any delightful combo of the above, plus other things I'm too dosed to think of right now.

...For your purposes, it doesn't really matter why he does it, except in the sense that knowing his agenda can help you protect yourself and your children whilst you take your next steps.

What does matter is that he is a terrible husband and partner.

...That he so resents you laughing and relaxed, enjoying yourself socially, and so hates people to be enjoying your company and thinking well of you, that he just has to say something awful about you, so that you and everyone else stop relating to each other and instead remember just how inferior and flawed and unlikable you 'really' are.

By way of reference:
My partner has never, ever said a negative thing about me in public, much less a seriously insulting, contemptuous thing like you describe. The opposite, in fact - he talks me up, to the point where it can be embarrassing, as I'm fairly modest.

Storytime:
At a party quite a while ago, my partner and I frequently found ourselves in separate little 'gatherings' in different areas of the house. He'd come over occasionally, ask if I was having a good time/tell me I looked gorgeous/offer me a drink etc., but for the most part we were doing separate things. He was playing cards for a couple of hours with five or six others, including my sister. Anyway, the next day, I was chatting with my sister and she said that whilst they were playing and talking, nearly every time he heard me laugh from the other room, he would involuntarily smile and look in my direction. (My sister teased him about it, of course, even though she though it was adorbs).

...The point though, is it made him happy that I was having fun.

There was no desire whatsoever on his part to squash me or smother my socialising by making me look bad or feel bad about myself.

Because he loves me and thinks well of me. He respects me and demands that others do the same. He wants me to be happy.

Your husband does not have your best interests at heart.

You deserve so much better.

I shudder to think what he says to/in front of your children, and what lessons he's teaching them about men, women and marriage.

Shoxfordian · 17/04/2019 05:56

It doesn't even seem that your husband likes you. He's being consistently rude to you. Maybe he's trying to convince other people that you're not nice so when you divorce him then they'll feel sorry for him. Its pathetic nasty behaviour.

StealthPolarBear · 17/04/2019 06:25

So he hurts you and he's confirmed you don't care. But he gets upset when you shout, poor love.

ShinyShoe · 17/04/2019 09:04

Thanks for all your advice.

OP posts:
Jux · 17/04/2019 12:41

Two quotes for you from a thread by a wise old MN regular, which I think fit your situation:

Don't be fooled into thinking the abuse isn't 'bad enough to leave'. If you are treated in any way less than cherished, loved and respected, it is bad enough to leave.

We should expect respect and admiration and love from our partners (which most people get), and not put up with mockery, name calling, violence, belittling and control.

Do you feel loved, respected and cherished?

AtrociousCircumstance · 19/04/2019 11:26

Hey Shamu how are you? Don’t let this slide back into your normal.

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