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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

About not wanting to go in fully paid holiday to v expensive destination with ILS during PGCSE

54 replies

Chillyegg · 15/04/2019 20:01

So boyfriends have offered to take all the family to v v expensive holiday destination fully paid holiday. Very generous of them. THIS however falls during whennim on my PGCSE course so I’ve mentioned I don’t think me and dd can go. Dd isn’t boyfriends child. Boyfriend thinks I’m ungrateful . And that if I want to go “I’ll make it happen”. I’m royally pissed off . I’m a single mum that works full time with children with mental health problems and juggling court battles with my ex . While also prepping for my PGCSE that’s been long dreamed of. He said if I have lots of essays I can just stay in the room and do them in the holiday place while he takes dd to the parks. I don’t know whether I’m being a rat or he’s being an arse but I’m on my period and have a sprained knee so I’m cross anyway.

OP posts:
SandAndSea · 15/04/2019 20:20

A PGCE is extremely intensive, unless it's one of those longer, part-time ones. If it's a full-time, 1 year course then I probably wouldn't go.

If he doesn't understand this, how's he going to be when you qualify and have loads of planning and marking to do?

CrunchyEggshells · 15/04/2019 20:21

Sorry I’m on a train and my post took ages to load so I hadn’t seen your updates.

It sounds like timing-wise it could work, but you should not feel under any pressure to go and your boyfriend is being extremely unreasonable to pressurise you about it

Theimpossiblegirl · 15/04/2019 20:21

Honestly, of it's in the Easter holidays it's do-able and you might even enjoy the break with your bf and DD. It's a busy year so a bit of quality family time might be well needed. You can make it work.

Guyliner · 15/04/2019 20:22

Boyfriend sounds like he doesn't think you're very important.

CrunchyEggshells · 15/04/2019 20:23

You and your course take precedent whatever he might say to the contrary!

SandAndSea · 15/04/2019 20:24

I posted and then a whole load of other posts appeared above me.

bridgetosomewhere · 15/04/2019 20:24

You'll manage.
Check there is no Easter school though before you confirm - I am doing PGDE this year and spending this week in Easter school!

Original poster
Chillyegg · 15/04/2019 20:25

Sorry so it’s a 1 year school based PGCE and I have lots of school experience.

OP posts:
SandAndSea · 15/04/2019 20:26

Not going doesn't make you ungrateful.

sighrollseyes · 15/04/2019 20:26

Tell them to pay for you if they want you to go so much! If you can't afford it don't stretch yourself you won't enjoy it if you are stressing over the cost.
Well done on pgce :-)

Redlocks28 · 15/04/2019 20:29

THIS however falls during whennim on my PGCSE course

?

If it’s to Disney, don’t do it! We went last Easter and it nearly killed me-I was so bloody tired when we got back, I didn’t feel like I’d had a holiday at all. If I’d had essays and planning to do it would have been a nightmare.

CrunchyEggshells · 15/04/2019 20:30

@sighrollseyes they are paying for it, but I think this is leading to the boyfriend piling on the pressure.

Original poster
Chillyegg · 15/04/2019 20:30

Tbh he’s not that awful he’s generally very decent.... he’s the one that encouraged me to apply and supported me through doing all the skills tests etc helped me revise and all that. So he’s not a complete and utter bastard. He’s just pissed me off. It’s also just such a first world problem

OP posts:
Original poster
Chillyegg · 15/04/2019 20:33

I think his mums putting on the pressure and that’s trickling down.

OP posts:
ThisMustBeMyDream · 15/04/2019 20:34

OP my boyfriend is doing his PGCE this year. This holiday (easter) is the only one he has truly been able to take a break in. He has had 7 consecutive days of no work now!
I think is possible, if you want to do it. But your boyfriend's attitude would make me not want to go.

kmammamalto · 15/04/2019 20:35

A scitt is far more intensive than a pgce and the stage you'll be at at Easter will be crucial looking at your next year's employment. I did a GTP (same thing but secondary, and it was like being a teacher full time and going to uni all at once) and I would leave any holidaying until your Lovely and well deserved summer!

CrunchyEggshells · 15/04/2019 20:37

Sorry so it’s a 1 year school based PGCE and I have lots of school experience.

I think chances are you might well feel you want a holiday and have time for one. That still doesn’t mean you have to say yes to this one though. If you’re unsure you could wait till nearer the time and book something last-minute.

But if you like the idea of this holiday, and know that if you needed to work while there your boyfriend and his family wouldn’t try to make you feel bad about it, I think go for it!

Original poster
Chillyegg · 15/04/2019 20:43

Well I’ve just got my knickers in a twist about it all, explained my point, he said don’t worry about the holiday and just concentrate on my studies. He acknowledges that on reflection he was being a bit of an arse

OP posts:
EnormousDormouse · 15/04/2019 20:43

I went to the US for the full 2 weeks of the Easter hols when I did mine - it was good to have a complete break from work. By this point you will (hopefully) have secured a job & have achieved (or nearly be there with) the standards.

EnormousDormouse · 15/04/2019 20:43

Well scratch that then!

PurpleDaisies · 15/04/2019 20:45

By this point you will (hopefully) have secured a job & have achieved (or nearly be there with) the standards.

Really? Lots of trainees don’t have jobs yet. It’s still early for nqt positions in primary.

Luaa · 15/04/2019 20:47

I would definitely go. If there's a lot of work then you can take your laptop and work a few hours a day. I would have jumped at a chance for a holiday at that point in my pgce!

Original poster
Chillyegg · 15/04/2019 20:52

I think we’re gonna have to wait and see on this one. Nothing like being on your period and throwing an all mighty strop!

My going to eat chocolate now

OP posts:
stopitandtidyupp · 15/04/2019 20:53

The worst term is September to Christmas.

It is a very steep learning curve though. So nobody could blame you.

bridgetreilly · 15/04/2019 20:54

How long is the holiday? If it's a week, I'd go. You'll need the break anyway. If it's two weeks, I don't think you can go.

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