To be sick of the mid life weight battle

[Mangetoutrodney]

Urgh- I am 46 and feel like I am fighting a weight battle with my hormones.

I eat a dairy free veggie diet thats healthy (I eat eggs so not vegan), exercise 4-5 times a week and barely drink. I calorie track to about 1500 a day & also do 5:2.

One weekend of drinking 2 nights & eating a bit more than normal and I have put on 4lbs. I know some of it will be water etc but I feel like I could literally PILE on the weight if I wasn’t all over what I eat.

It’s like constantly treading water but watching virtually everything I eat & drink & exercising like mad to not put weight on. I am not naturally skinny either so have always had to work at it but it’s feeling really hard to stay a normal weight/ healthy.

Aibu to be fed up- I am perimenipausal & it’s wreakng havoc. Anyone else had similar?

I'm in the same boat...trying mindful eating. I don;t agree that intuitive eatings is not good for emotional eaters, in fact the opposite as it is about recognising those triggers and thoughts.

I'm just trying to eat when really hungry and this is leading to a 16:8 type thing naturally- key thing seems to be starting in the morning as eating first thing can make me hungrier- not just carbs food either but anything!

My genetics are not good- my mum is very obese and has now health problems due to it- hiatus hernia, and osteoarthritis in the knee, and want to avoid that in the future.

You only have to look at someone like the Queen, to see how her figure has changed throughout her life, and no one could call her a fattie.

It seems that for many women, they become somehow broader as they age - filling out in the upper body. I have begun to feel like that, and I'm afraid that my days of being on the chubby side of normal are over... now I'm just chubby.

Doesn't help that i'm in a job with lots of travel and getting home late... I seem to have developed a serious starbucks habit! (and not just coffee...)

I live in hope though and plan to do Jason Vale's super blend diet after the Easter holidays.. shakes but made from all natural ingredients, 3 times a day. It'll probably kill me but hey ho I have to try.

Everyone get their Anti thyroid antibodies checked. Even if your thyroid hormones are 'within range' for the NHS it doesn't mean it's normal for 'you'. If you have anti thyroid antibodies then you have an auto immune condition and the symptoms of that are the inability to lose weight.

After 20yrs I have just been diagnosed with this (Hashimotos) after pushing for years and years for tests.

A friend of mine has Hashimotos and is doing an immune boosting diet. She has lost loads of weight and feels absolutely great. It eliminates so much though, sugar, grains, meat, all processed food, root vegetables and carbs.
I have an underactive thyroid and have a lot of worrying symptoms including being 4 stone overweight and pre diabetic. I eat a very healthy diet and exercise most days. I just cannot metabolise carbs anymore and need to cut them out completely.

I'm in the same boat...trying mindful eating. I don;t agree that intuitive eatings is not good for emotional eaters, in fact the opposite as it is about recognising those triggers and thoughts.

Me too. I tried intuitive eating, just eating what my body wanted. Turned out I wanted lots and lots of junk.

I've really struggled with middle-aged spread, beating myself knowing that I just need to calorie-count, cut out sugar and carbs, intermittently fast etc etc. But it didn't happen and I just felt worse and worse. I could see my bloated belly, cellulite-y thighs, wobbly arms...

Then I thought 'fuck it'.

I don't want to spend my life striving to be a size 8 again if I'm going to be miserable. I started reading about dieting and not dieting, and a quote really struck a chord with me, "what if you woke up tomorrow and loved your body?"

I'm now really focusing on this, respecting and cherishing my body.

Firstly, I'm really paying attention to how I feel in my body. How I can stretch a little further in yoga today than I did yesterday and how I can bench press a little bit more today than I did last week.

Secondly, I'm being a little bit more aware of what I eat. Could I eat three portions of vegetables today? Could I try a couple of different types of vegetables today? Perhaps today could be the day I eat a portion of oily fish with my salad. I'm not focusing on any junk that I eat.

Thirdly, I'm really tackling my emotional eating. I'm doing something I call Prediction & Prevention. And if I find myself bingeing (or having binged) then I ask myself, "what feeling am I managing / avoiding?". And I try to allow myself to feel it; kind of breath through it and really feel it as opposed to eating it.

I dunno! That's longer than I thought because it's the first time I've really articulated where I am at the moment.

I went to a dietician because I was struggling to lose weight and was told at 41 and female, the calorie guidance is massively over estimated and that I actually should eat around 950 calories to loose weight and only 1100 to maintain!! I also go gym twice I week and circuits once a week.

I dropped right down to 900 calories and lost the weight but it took ages!! Literally a pound or two a week even though the calories seemed so low.

I’ve had to get used to much less food but I’m completely used to it now. However if I go over 1000 calories I gain weight!!

So basically I have to train 3 times a week and only eat two meals a day to maintain an ideal weight at 41

the calorie guidance is massively over estimated and that I actually should eat around 950 calories to loose weight and only 1100 to maintain!

^^ This is really interesting & I have often wondered whether I am massively overeating despite only eating 1500 a day max on non fast days (I do 2 600 cal days a week)

Same here. I've always watched my weight and never overindulged, treated treats as such and always maintained a good weight. I've gone up and down 1/2 stone every since I was a teenager, but only needed to cut down a bit and get into better habits and within a couple of months would be back to my ideal weight.

No longer since the menopause. I've given up all bread, pasta and sugar but still I'm 5lbs over my good weight and can't seem to lose it. I exercise a lot, almost daily but that makes no difference.

I've read that the most imports thing to do in middle age is to reduce portions. It's hard though when things come in packs and it feels like your dinner is over before you started it even if you slow down!

I don't think of the mindful eating as 'just what your body wants' though. I agree if i did that I'd choose cake, rich things as we do crave those things naturally.

I think of it as when reaching for food / planning to eat, trying to check my thoughts and see if I'm really hungry, what would be filling / healthy, or is it that I'm bored / stressed or whatever. Giving some time to pause first.

Also paying attention to how foods make me feel, after, more hungry? crave more...or full for a while? You can even write notes down.

I watched what I ate really carefully before I had children. I put on a lot of weight in pregnancy but lost it after a battle. Diets were always 1000 calories a day and I lost 2 pounds a week. These days the calorie allowance is far too high on diets. Everybody eats far too much, snacks and eats huge portions and that’s why we have an obesity crisis. Eating out is a regular thing . It didn’t feature at all thirty years ago and was a very rare treat. People cooked from scratch .
My weight has crept up because I’ve lost all notion of how many calories Im consuming and how large my portions are.
I do think in middle age most women can’t eat carbs or sugar without reaping the consequences. We also all drink far too much.

diets were always 1,000 calories

Yes, this.

Question for you Five red - if you have the antibodies is there a treatment for it? Curious to know.

Back in the day (here we go) people walked miles and ate 3 meals a day. Even if those three meals were stodgy, the portions were small and calories were burnt off due to walking, colder homes, housework being more physical and people doing more physical activities. Less alcohol, fewer 'treats'. Wine used to be since a year affair!

Nowadays we're stuck in front of a computer, heated offices and homes, no exercise and still think we can eat pie, chips and peas on a regular basis. We can't. Daily calorie intake of 2000 is waaayy too much for most folks.

Wine used to be since a year affair!

Should say: wine used to be a once a year affair

Since I had my DC four years ago, my weight has gone from 9.5 stone pre pregnancy to almost 12. I'm 38.

I was trying on clothes 3 weeks ago and was struggling to get into a size 14 and that was the wake up call I needed. I've been on 1000 calories a day for the past three weeks and zero alcohol. It's extremely hard but I've definitely lost weight (although haven't weighed myself, rather going by the fit of my clothes)

I have never calorie counted before, but now I realise why my weight spiralled out of control. I would regularly eat 6 slices of bread per day, cheese, crisps, fast food, alcohol and only did moderate exercise.

This is SO hard but my desire to be thin and healthy outweighs my desire for junk food and alcohol. I can only hope that I can get to 10 stone - that would be a real achievement for me.

I have given up the whites, eg bread, pasta, rice and potatoes. I found that after having a high carb meal that I was very tired and had to have a nap for a couple of hours. Sticking with lower carb, under 100grams which makes me fell better in myself and no stomach bloat.

I think the increase in eating-out does contribute - or at least makes it harder to maintain a healthy weight. When I eat out, I try to choose healthy options (most of the time!) but the calorie count can still be fairly high. It makes eating out hard, which is a shame as I love eating out. I used to live in Hong Kong where it's normal to eat out for 3 meals a day and I still find the desire to eat out (especially for breakfast actually) a hard habit to break.

Yesterday I was up early for a HIIT class at the gym and then went straight out from the gym to run around doing various errands. By early afternoon, I was starving!!! I didn't want to go home until I'd finished my errands but I was getting hangry from lack of food. So I decided to pitstop at Leon and have one of their chicken & brown rice boxes. I felt SO much better after eating but it cost me 623 calories out of my daily allowance. That felt like a lot! And that was me making a relatively healthy choice. What I really wanted to have (and have been craving for several weeks now) was some poutine. But I Googled it and it has approx 1400 calories. Wtf!!!

So I guess this is life now....eat rabbit food, practice denial, do a lot of exercise and just about maintain my weight if I'm lucky. This is not fun. Sobs quietly. Yesterday I spent 30 mins on Deliveroo's website drooling over cakes that I'd like to get delivered. I never do of course, I just like to torture myself with the fantasy.

Yup trouble is you can have say a 200kcal deficit each day (which is hard enough!) that's 1400kcals over the week...that's not even a curry. Not even a dominoes pizza. Literally cant take your eye off the ball for a second. Exhausting.

My sister did the 800 calorie diabetes diet, she looked great and lost a lot of weight. I was shocked as I did not realise she had the will power. Diabetes under control now.

managedmis good point. It’s hard eating less though...!

I'm the same. I try to cut down on bread, eat fruit and veg. I used to be very skinny and have a small build but it is around my stomach. I try to walk but am not very sporty

I used to be able to eat pretty much what I wanted, although always healthy, and had a great figure - menopause, three children, etc and I’ve lost that lovely waistline and my thighs have lost their tone, my upper arms don’t look good anymore. And it’s a whole big effort to try and turn it round even a bit.

I started a thread about this a couple of years ago (under another username) and some younger posters were very dismissive of it, saying I probably didn't move at all and stuff like that. Just you wait, I thought I used to have an amazing metabolism throughout my twenties. No exercise except walking from pub to pub Ate LOADS and BMI of 19. Over 50 now and it's tough. BMI now 24 whilst eating like a bird.

So many people depend on extreme exercise in the gym in order to eat more, but when you can't exercise like that anymore (knee trouble and the like) you need to cut right back on your calories.

Depressing, but true!

So I guess this is life now....eat rabbit food, practice denial, do a lot of exercise and just about maintain my weight if I'm lucky. This is not fun. Sobs quietly. Yesterday I spent 30 mins on Deliveroo's website drooling over cakes that I'd like to get delivered. I never do of course, I just like to torture myself with the fantasy

Sounds like me!

So I guess this is life now....eat rabbit food, practice denial, do a lot of exercise and just about maintain my weight if I'm lucky. This is not fun. Sobs quietly. Yesterday I spent 30 mins on Deliveroo's website drooling over cakes that I'd like to get delivered. I never do of course, I just like to torture myself with the fantasy.

It's your life, you choose how you live it. If it's being miserable, go for it. Personally, I just bought bigger clothes. I'm a 14 now. In order to be a 10 I'd have to be eternally hungry. No, thanks. I'd be utterly miserable cutting out food groups, eating 'rabbit food', no wine except once a year (I don't much care for sweets so I'm not bothered by cake). I exercise a lot, but my shape has changed. I'm not 25 and have given birth to 3 large children and am menopausal. We're here for a good time, not a long time. No one is going to give a rat's arse if you were ultra slim or not 100 years from now.

If you want to subscribe to asceticism it's your lookout, but life has enough misery in it without bringing them down on yourself.