Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I will never be attractive again because of my stretch marks

43 replies

namechange586358 · 15/04/2019 12:47

I recently had a baby, and gave develop extreme stretch marks. I've never seen them like this before and my doctor said it's a hormonal thing. I didn't put on much weight in pregnancy and am now a healthy size 10-12.

I have stretch marks on my belly, back, thighs, calves, ankles, arms, forearms, that fat but above my vagina, on my labia, my boobs, everywhere apart from my face. I look almost freakish and don't know why it happened as I only put on weight really on my belly and a tiny bit on my legs.

I am in a deep depression over this. My ex and I split up because he became abusive towards me during pregnancy. He hated my stretch marks.

AIBU in thinking that whilst people will tell me I'm beautiful because they're being nice, I'll never actually be attraftive again? I look vile Sad

OP posts:
Home77 · 15/04/2019 12:50

Ex sounds horrible, glad you are rid of him.

If it helps any my tummy is covered in scars from surgery...a one across (c section type) then another up and down, so it looks like hot cross bun. Oh and stretch marks as well!

I don;t like it either and sometimes it gets me down, but i try and focus on things like the children it made or that the ops saved my life. it helps a little.

Oh and it can weed out horrible men as well! Smile

Yesicancancan · 15/04/2019 12:55

It’s does sound distressing for you, however they will fade. Be glad your ex showed you what a cunt he was before you wasted any more time with him.
Beauty is on the inside.

RedPanda2 · 15/04/2019 12:57

I'm bi and stretch marks wouldn't put me off at all

Shitonthebloodything · 15/04/2019 12:59

Your ex was a wanker and it's shit coming to terms with a post baby body but they will fade and you're lucky to have them x

thecatsthecats · 15/04/2019 13:00

Think about it this way.

I have stretch marks. Faded, silvery but there.

Do you fancy telling me my body is vile and that I'll never be attractive again?

No? I hope not anyway! So why tell yourself that?

ScreamScreamIceCream · 15/04/2019 13:01

Your stretch marks will fade so will be less noticeable and mature adults aren't interested in bodies with no history.

Oh and congrats on your weight loss - approximately 70kg is a lot of dead weight to lose.

GregoryPeckingDuck · 15/04/2019 13:04

They will fade and become less noticeable as your skin tightens back up. You can also consider laser treatment, microneedling and tattoos (to match your skin tone) to reduce their appearance if it helps you feel better.

PregnantSea · 15/04/2019 13:06

I genuinely think that faded stretch marks look absolutely fine. I have never worried about them and you don't even really notice them unless you look very closely. I promise I'm not just saying this to be nice - I have quite a lot of stretch marks too and I really don't think people notice.

Also, your ex sounds like a prick. I'm sure he's very unhappy with whichever poor sod he ended up with.

AnneLovesGilbert · 15/04/2019 13:06

Congratulations on your baby and well done for getting free of your horrible ex Flowers

You sound so low about your body, sending you a hug. I’m not going to dish out platitudes because you feel how you feel, but I’m sure you ARE beautiful and your body has grown a whole tiny human being, which is a miracle. It doesn’t take away how you feel but it’s still true.

Original poster
namechange586358 · 15/04/2019 13:07

I'm not saying all stretch marks are vile. I don't want to offend anyone who has them. I Had a few before I had my son and never even thought about them. I'm so covered now though that people actually stare at me. My then DSD told me my arms looked like prunes (she was only 4). I just can't get my head round it. I've gone from loving my body to having a complete crisis over it!

OP posts:
Chouetted · 15/04/2019 13:09

I've never had a baby, but I developed a LOT of stretch marks during adolescence, in most of the places you mentioned (I've, uh, never thought to check my labia...).

They were ugly and I hated them. Big purple marks all over. My body had been ruined before I'd even done anything with it.

But now they're faded and silvery, and look a bit like the surface of the sea, and I think they're beautiful. Sometimes I just stare at them and marvel at how my skin changes from different angles.

A few people have commented, mostly because they were confused about whether they were pregnancy marks or not. No-one's said anything negative. Ever Flowers

Lemonsquinky · 15/04/2019 13:09

You need to reframe this. Your body has made a human. Your stretch marks are the evidence of the amazing thing that your body did. They do fade over time. Also it's your ex that has the problem not you. Your stretch marks will fade but he will always be an abusive arse. Don't discount the pain you are feeling because of the abuse you suffered from your ex. Be kind to yourself. Think of them as the reminder of the fact you made a human.

formul1isSoBoringNow · 15/04/2019 13:11

it sounds like you have had to cope with quite a bit and your ex has made you doubly aware of your stretch marks.
I promise they will fade to silvery wisps.
please bear on mind only knob heads will have problem with your stretch marks in the future.

I had purple and red stretch marks running up my tummy when i met DH, and I didn't even had DC as an excuse, DH didn't mind though.

SnowyAlpsandPeaks · 15/04/2019 13:11

I was lucky in that I only had one 1.5cm stretch mark on my tummy from both my pregnancies. However, I have silver stretch marks across my lower back, my inner thighs, like you that fat bit above my vagina, the sides of my knees, boobs (34GG but have been a K too) and a few on my upper arms- phew that’s a lot!! Mine was growing so fast as a teen I think, but they are there and there’s nothing I can do. They have faded a lot over the years. But being 100% honest- they’ve never put a man or women off, and I have been with men and women who have stretch marks and they haven’t put me off either. There’s very few people who haven’t got at least one small stretch mark somewhere. But you have them for a reason- you grew another human being. So I’d say they are pretty magical!

yikesanotherbooboo · 15/04/2019 13:13

He sounds really horrible. Please don't blame yourself for stretch marks they are nothing to do with the amount of weight you gain or the expensive creams you buy. Some people are just more likely to get them.
They fade to next to nothing .
I don't know how to help except to say that your body has done something amazing in producing a whole little human and that all of us mothers have some marks to show for it. Be proud of yourself and feel very grateful that you are not stuck with such an odious man anymore.

GooodMythicalMorning · 15/04/2019 13:15

Im sure you are beautiful. Stretch marks will fade sweet, they wont always be red and angry looking. mine are so much better now after a few years. If anyone judges you on them they are not worth it.

CryptoFascist · 15/04/2019 13:18

I've got shit loads of stretch marks. I've had several partners since getting them and nobody has said a word. And they weren't all princes!
Men get them too, in fact anyone who grows will have some somewhere.
It's not the stretch marks that's caused this, it's your awful ex using them as a stick to beat you with.
Of course you're attractive. The stretch marks will only make a difference to the most shallow of men who think women are only here to be decorative, unspoiled blow up dolls. And you wouldn't want someone like that anyway, so it's all good, isn't it?

spanishwife · 15/04/2019 13:21

No amount of us telling you that they look fine/all part of being a mum will help you feel better. You have to make a decision for yourself on whether to love it or not.

You your body is yours, it's your only one and it'll look the same whether you hate it or not. So, tell yourself you are beautiful, you are you and learn to love yourself. Or, continue to hate yourself and feel miserable.

Feeling confident and beautiful is all about the way YOU feel about yourself, it's really nothing to do with the way you look.

AltogetherAndrews · 15/04/2019 13:33

I know they look very obvious now, and you are probably in shock with the changes to your body, but they will fade and faded stretch marks, no matter how many, or how big, are really beautiful. A bit of time, for healing and for getting used to them will help.

SosigDog · 15/04/2019 13:39

I grew really fast during puberty so I got stretch marks on thighs, calves and breasts. Nobody has ever commented on them, or even noticed really. Post pregnancy I have them on my stomach too. Personally I could live with stretch marks if my body was nice and tight with a flat stomach. What bothers me is having a saggy loose belly that no amount of exercise can tighten. I’m saving up for surgery.

Theweasleytwins · 15/04/2019 13:41

They fade after a while, or there is a lady who put breastmilk on half her tummy and it really sped up the fading (if you are breastfeeding)

Cwtches123 · 15/04/2019 13:43

There was an interesting show on C4 last week - naked beach - one of the participants had real issues about her stretch marks. It might be worth watching (I'm suggesting you go naked on the beach)

Cwtches123 · 15/04/2019 13:43

I'm NOT suggesting you go naked on the beach!!!!

EmeraldShamrock · 15/04/2019 13:50

OP they will fade, there are lots of remedies these days. They are the lines of your beautiful baby growing in you.
You ex is a prick.
My pal used to say "My body is not ruined I'm a god DAM tiger, who earned her stripes"
I didn't get lots but the ones I got are barely visible now.
Concentrate on your baby, the right man won't give a monkeys we are so much more than our shell.

EmeraldShamrock · 15/04/2019 13:53

Oh to add by breast had huge deep purple veins for at least a year each time after 2DC.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.

Swipe left for the next trending thread