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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder how some people can lack total awareness when it comes to their children and behaviour

81 replies

Driftingthoughlife · 15/04/2019 02:30

On holiday and tonight was the kids club talent show which they have been rehearsing for today and making costumes
Most of the kids are singing or dancing
During the show this little girl starts running and screaming on the dance floor which totally drowns the little boy on stage. At this point you can see people looking round wondering who this child belongs to.
The next child does a card trick- Cue the little girl running up on stage and grabbing the cards of the table and flinging them. At this point the kids club rep steps on stage and asked for parents of the little girl to come and get her- finally a women stand up and goes and gets her with a right grumpy face on
During the next act the little girls starts running up on the dance floor again screaming while a little girl is singing and the mum starts filming her running around!!!!

The girl on stage ends up in tears and again the rep steps in and asks that noise is kept down. The Mum storms into the dancefloor sweeps up the little girls and walks out glaring at the rep. We think that is the end of that
Two acts later the mum is back without the little girls and starts filming a boy on stage which we assume is her son. Half way through she actually turns round to the the table behind her and gives a massive “SHUSH” to them. Hmm
At this point everyone is looking round at each other some look annoyed some look amused at her behaviour.

After her son has finished she sits down and the next act which is 2 girls doing gymnastics starts. Suddenly the little girl runs back in with a guy chasing her (think it is dad) runs up to girls on the dance floor doing gymnastics and collides with one of the girls coming out of a cartwheel.
The Mum storms up grabs the little girl who is in tears storms back stage and comes out dragging her son with one hand and her daughter with the other shouting about the shit organisation and she will be complaining that her daughter got hurt. She leaves dragging the kids with the husband following sheeply behind.
Everyone is kind of stunned into silence until the rep who had come on stage to check the girl who had been doing the cartwheel was ok said “on with the show and the 2 girls started again”
Guess who we will be avoiding down by the pool tomorrow?

OP posts:
Bumbalaya · 15/04/2019 02:38

Maybe the little girl had autism and this was the first break the parents have had in years?

GPatz · 15/04/2019 02:40

Even if so, does that really justify spoiling other children's contributions to a talent show?

NerrSnerr · 15/04/2019 02:42

Maybe she did but the parents should have still been watching her and intervened before she ruined other children's performances.

MarthasGinYard · 15/04/2019 02:47

Can't stand this kind of thing

Glad rep stepped in

I'm sure they will be there with the entitled towels on the sun beds at crack of Wink

Original poster
Driftingthoughlife · 15/04/2019 02:48

Maybe she did but does that excuse the behaviour of the mother?

My DS has autism and I would not have let him ruin others kids performance not to mention two kids including the little girl could have ended up with a nasty injury.

OP posts:
MarthasGinYard · 15/04/2019 02:54

'Maybe the little girl had autism and this was the first break the parents have had in years?'

Or

Maybe the parents are just lazy and entitled and the dc takes it's cue's from them....

makeitalargegin · 15/04/2019 03:00

Do not bring up the autism card!
My youngest has it and there is no way I would let him behave like that little girl did.

It's really makes me angry when people use autism to condone children being naughty.

My little boy has sever autism and he would never be allowed to carry on like that.

JingsMahBucket · 15/04/2019 03:12

@Bumbalaya
Maybe the little girl had autism and this was the first break the parents have had in years?

NOPE. This is not an excuse and stop relying on it. This was absolutely shit parenting, pure and simple.

JingsMahBucket · 15/04/2019 03:15

@makeitalargegin exactly. It is so insulting to kids and families dealing with autism and other special/disability needs.

People need to parent their children and teach them not to inflict their presence on others.

JanMeyer · 15/04/2019 03:19

Maybe the little girl had autism and this was the first break the parents have had in years?

Oh come on, first post in and some idiot has to suggest autism, is that some kind of record?
Autism doesn't automatically equal bad behaviour you know, and even when autistic kids do present with challenging behaviour parents usually do their best to manage it, not film the kid running around whilst they ruin a talent show.
And even if (and it's a big if) the girl does actually have autism, it doesn't sound like the parents are getting much of a break if they're running around after her constantly, so your logic doesn't really hold up does it?

RageAgainstTheVendingMachine · 15/04/2019 03:27

Maybe the little girl had autism and this was the first break the parents have had in years

Even if that was the case, you'd bundle up your little one and take them out. DH and I would do this then take shifts while parenting our others/finishing up drinks.
I don't know of any SN parent who would let their child have a meltdown/escalate to a meltdown/become over-stimulated/ruin their sibling's moment (or anyone else's for that matter) or not be safeguarding them. Not because we aren't knackered/stressed/fallible but because we know how quickly things can escalate and because we know how judgy other feckers are!

PyongyangKipperbang · 15/04/2019 03:49

Autism is not some kind of Get Out of Jail Free Card for shit parents!

The shit parent of a child with Autism is still a shit parent. My son has SN and there is no way on earth I would have allowed that kind of behaviour. If he was disturbing others then we would leave, end of.

sobeyondthehills · 15/04/2019 03:49

Maybe the little girl had autism and this was the first break the parents have had in years?

Oh fuck off

Ellenborough · 15/04/2019 04:02

Haha Jan I was just thinking the same thing. As soon as I read OPs like this I think ‘how long before someone says Autism?’ but this one was like shit off a hot shovel.

It wouldn’t matter what the cause was. The behaviour was inappropriate (although possibly not the child’s fault) but the parents’ response was inadequate and unacceptable.

OhTheRoses · 15/04/2019 04:03

Every single aspect if the evening sounds horrendous.

snitzelvoncrumb · 15/04/2019 04:06

Some people are jerks, and make people miserable where ever they are. It's not just people with children, there are lots of people with antisocial behaviour. It's part of life. Just ignore, or if you are feeling brave or have terrible PMS tell them to bugger off.

Aquamarine1029 · 15/04/2019 04:25

Maybe the little girl had autism and this was the first break the parents have had in years?

This is a joke, right?

ahtellthee · 15/04/2019 04:27

autism

Sigh. As an autism parent, I hate it when people say this crap. PP's seem to have covered everything about why that is so wrong.

Aria999 · 15/04/2019 05:20

Her talent act may have been screaming in other people's acts... would explain the mum's reaction 😂 not sure anything else can

JingsMahBucket · 15/04/2019 05:29

How much you want to bet that family will complain the next morning that they weren’t able to enjoy their evening because the staff were rude to them? 🙄

Foxmuffin · 15/04/2019 05:47

That’s terrible behaviour the parent should have stepped in!

I have a child with developmental delays and autism. It isn’t a free pass. If they are upsetting everyone else they need removing from the setting where safe to do so. Here is a prime example.

Sirzy · 15/04/2019 05:52

Most parents of a child with autism or additional needs would go above and beyond to ensure that everyone could enjoy the event. Don’t try to use it as a “get out of jail free card”

Good on the rep for trying to sort it!

blackcat86 · 15/04/2019 05:54

That sounds horrendous. We actively avoid 2 extended family members because they just let their kids run riot whilst they ignore it (kids are 10, 7 and 4 - no sn). Its incredibly embarrassing and also really makes me question them as people as they'll be the first to pass judgement and yet their kids are clearly ruining some poor couple's meal or knocking over a young child etc. Its so selfish. All 3 kids are quite entitled and generally unpleasant. I also don't want DD or DSS thinking it's ok to behave this like.

MaybeitsMaybelline · 15/04/2019 06:28

Austism Bumbalaya ?

So selective autism then? That prevented the child running on the stage and ruining the act when her brother was performing?

HBStowe · 15/04/2019 06:33

Ffs. Maybe she did have autism, but does that mean her parents don’t have to parent? You’re being offensive imo to the many autistic kids who wouldn’t behave that way, and to the parents of autistic kids who wouldn’t put their child in an environment they clearly couldn’t handle and / or who would take them out if they were disrupting it for other kids (some of whom may have been autistic themselves!)

OP YANBU, that’s so unfair and totally oblivious behaviour.

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