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Original poster

To not believe in the mythical baby who....

67 replies

Lindtbunnymassacre · 14/04/2019 20:38

....goes to sleep "drowsy but awake?"

This is the suggestion I see in books and online but my DD, nine months old, has loudly objected every time I try it. She'll lie in her cot, have a look around for a few minutes, then start screeching.

She is currently waking up every twenty to thirty minutes, apart from between 12 midnight and 7am,when, thank goodness, she will sleep (cosleeping)

The rest of the time we are trying to get her to sleep in her cot beside our bed. She has always needed resettling in the evening and she has never napped for long, but this is just ridiculous. She went to bed at half seven and I've been up to settle her again three times already. I go back to work next month so I'm keen to have her in a better routine. What do I do? She was getting so much better up until this week and now we are back to square one.

OP posts:
MatchSetPoint · 14/04/2019 21:07

*two

Thesearmsofmine · 14/04/2019 21:08

My first baby did, he fooled us into having a second who was the total opposite!

whereiwanttobe · 14/04/2019 21:08

I spent hours and hours rocking and patting my first born to sleep, then commando crawling from the room so she didn't wake. The second would go in his moses basket, murmur for a minute or two and then sleep, it was magical. When he was tiny he also used to sleep for an hour, wake for an hour, have a feed and go back to sleep (in the daytime). My friends with screamers and restless babies hated me Grin

Sunshineface123 · 14/04/2019 21:10

Can you try and get them in their own room? That made a big difference to our little ones sleep and also would highly recommend white noise like a myhummy or dream sheep. Good luck!

Dinosauratemydaffodils · 14/04/2019 21:18

I put dd down drowsy but awake and she's currently fast asleep. She's 10 months old. However, she shares a room with her older brother. I put them both down at the same time, read them both a bunch of stories, tuck them both in and leave them awake to fall asleep.

It was pretty much like a switch went off with her, from constant waking, screaming, fighting being left up until around 8 months to this. With ds, I couldn't leave him until he was fast sleep though until about 14 months so I think it really varies from baby to baby. I would try putting in her into her own room as a first move.

Cwtches123 · 14/04/2019 21:22

Mt first child was the mythical baby - she was a dream. Second child was a nightmare!!!!

If my first had been like my second she would have been an only!

MotherOfTheNoise · 14/04/2019 21:24

All 3 of mine have (and do) I don't know how I have managed this. (Other than maybe they've inherited my need-to-sleep trait). I've been asked how to do it and I genuinely don't know. They came programmed this way 🤷🏻‍♀️

ShaggyRug · 14/04/2019 21:28

DD was a hideous sleeper until around 6-8 months - slept in 20 min intervals and tortured me with constant screaming unless being walked around having her bum patted 🤷‍♀️

Then suddenly I found I could put her in her cot wide awake at lunch time and she’d go to sleep for a 2 hour nap. Every day! Freaked me out. Felt like I’d caught a unicorn for a while.

AndOutComeTheBoobs · 14/04/2019 21:29

Op I was reading this morning about a sleep regression around aged 8 months. Could that be to blame?

None of my children slept well as babies. None of them every did the drowsy thing.

Is we photos of babies that just 'fell asleep' on their play mat or in their high chair.

Mine never did anything of the sort.

KickAssAngel · 14/04/2019 21:30

I rarely tell people this in real life in case they lynch me (particularly if they're sleep deprived from a screaming baby).

But from about 3 months I could give DD a bottle, lay her in the cot, and walk out - job done! About 10 - 12 hours later she'd wake up and start cooing/singing etc. I have no idea how we got so lucky - it just happened.

hopefulhalf · 14/04/2019 21:32

Yes both,of mine did this. Same time every day.

MammaMia19 · 14/04/2019 21:33

1st child I held to sleep which I massively regretted and was hard to undo.
2nd child goes down awake but has a muslin for comfort, on the odd occasion he will whinge for a few mins but I stick to putting him down awake because of the hell I went through with child 1

Clutterbugsmum · 14/04/2019 21:34

All mine have done that, unfortunately they all slept differently.

DD1 slept from 7pm to 7am. She just woke every night at 3am.

DD2 slept went to bed at 7pm from 6 weeks unfortunately she woke at 5 am every morning until she was 6 years old.

DS woke at 12am for a feed and then he woke at 5am and even now at 10 yrs he still wakes at 6am no matter what time he goes to bed.

When I had ds I was woken at 12 am, 3 am and then up at 5 am for the day. Unfortunately I developed insomnia so was having around 4 hours sleep for many a year.

Clutterbugsmum · 14/04/2019 21:36

DD1 slept from 7pm to 7am. She just woke every night at 3am. I should have added this went on until she was 7 years

FortheloveofJames · 14/04/2019 21:51

DS has self settled since about 4 months- he just randomly started doing it one day. Prior to that he needed a lot of rocking or boob and would only sleep on me during the day. We used white noise and that really worked for us and helped settle him. Ever since (he’s almost 2 now) we’ve had a cuddle, I pop him down, shut the door and he takes himself off. Didn’t mean be slept through tho- he didn’t start sleeping all night till just shy of a year old. He also would only do this in his cot- he’s never been one to fall asleep on his bouncer or play mat, or even now he’s older he never nods off on the couch or when having a cuddle.

Currently pregnant with number two and am under no illusions they will the same!

CarrieBlu · 14/04/2019 21:55

Neither of my DC have ever done it, I’ve always had to BF them to sleep and then cosleep all night. But, children I’ve nannied for in the past would happily go into their cot whilst drowsy and settle themselves to sleep. They’re just all different.

Exhausted18 · 14/04/2019 21:58

My baby does this provided she has white noise and the room is dark. On a good night she will settle to sleep from 9pm til 6am with just one brief wake up. The only time she is very bad with wake ups is when she is teething. I can never, ever have another baby because guaranteed they would be a sleepless demon child to make up for it.

Original poster
Lindtbunnymassacre · 14/04/2019 22:08

No I won't count my blessings because she is attached to my boob betwe 12-7, in one position, my sleep quality is shit, I've been waking up physically aching because I'm tensed into the same position, and my neck is constantly sore. So yes I'm asleep and she's sleeping a 7 hour stretch, but in the loosest sense of the word. Also my husband works twelve hour shifts so I get fuck all time to do anything by myself as it is, and actually on balance I think I'd rather have less sleep and a guaranteed hour every evening where I can get a shower, have a cup of tea, and read a book or watch half a programme.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lindtbunnymassacre · 14/04/2019 22:13

It may be sleep regression I suppose. We do use white noise and it was working well until recently, now nothing is working. I'll give it a few more weeks to see if there's any change and I might think about putting her in her own room when she's closer to a year. Though she currently naps in her own room for a whole twenty minutes at a time so I'm not sure how it would improve things at night. I had envisaged cosleeping for longer and would do so happily if she'd just settle properly in the evenings.

OP posts:
DameSylvieKrin · 14/04/2019 22:16

Going down drowsy but awake is a feature that some babies have and others done, and you can’t teach the second kind. My first never could, my second always did.
For the never drowsy often awake one, sleep training with the gradual retreat method improved her sleep straight away. She started sleeping 12 hours even when cutting molars.

TooBusyHavingFun · 14/04/2019 22:16

Trying warming the cot up with a hot water bottle (obviously removing it before putting her in.
Maybe try doing her bed time routine later so she is more tired and try not to let her have any naps after 3pm.

ethelfleda · 14/04/2019 22:18

yanbu. I wouldn’t even attempt it and my ‘baby’ is 18 months!

Original poster
Lindtbunnymassacre · 14/04/2019 22:19

What's the gradual retreat method?

I did try the no naps past a certain time thing, but she was utterly exhausted and then moved past exhaustion into hyperactivity and was bouncing around for ages. She still has three naps a day though, I wonder should I cut down to two

OP posts:
SarahAndQuack · 14/04/2019 22:22

lindt, sorry, but that's how it is!

I'm sorry it's really rough. But - it's really rough. I admit, that sounds really horrible. Solidarity about the sleeping in one position. DD is two and I have appalling back ache because she either wakes me on the hour every hour kicking me (!), or insists I sleep cradling her in the same position.

Jenniferyellowcat · 14/04/2019 22:25

DC1 slept horrendously from day 1 and is still impossible to settle at 9.

DC2 was from day 1 a put down drowsy and nod off child. I am still astonished by this several years on.

If he’d been my first I would have been very smug Smile But I did literally nothing differently. Having a ‘good sleeper’ is just luck!