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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To keep them off school?

78 replies

AttendanceHmm · 14/04/2019 11:59

My dc's school has been doing an attendance drive. They're obviously under a lot of pressure over poor attendance and I appreciate incentives are needed.

Before the holidays, we were informed that Mrs X's class had had over 96% attendance for the previous 4 weeks and therefore would get a reward, a day out after the holidays. As there were a number of spaces available, any dc who had 100% since Sept would go in a draw to fill the rest. So there are dc who only have, say, 94% who will definitely go, yet a lot with 100% who won't.

Wibu to keep my DC off that day and take them out, myself? They have excellent attendance and punctuality and I think it's unfair they'll be doing school work while their classmates are having a day out.

OP posts:

Acis · 14/04/2019 15:22

The local library gave an award (linking with schools) if you read 6 books over the summer holidays - does that discriminate against those who can't read?

No, because libraries that run these schemes make reasonable adjustments for the disabled, e.g. offering audio books or the facility to have books read to the children in question.

All this "put up with it, learn that life is unfair" completely ignores the fact that children who have to miss school because of disability already have to put up with far too much. Trust me, they don't need yet another lesson that life is unfair to the disabled.

notharryssally · 14/04/2019 15:24

I don't think anyone should win anything for good attendance rates. Time off is usually out of the child's control and often out of the parents' control too. So children with medical issues, neglectful parents, or a whole host of other things that aren't their fault get to watch other children (often with significantly easier lives) get rewarded. Brilliant.

ShawshanksRedemption · 14/04/2019 15:28

If anything the prize would have been a reverse incentive for them: the kids might well have worked out that, as they stood no chance of winning, there was really no point in trying and they might as well skive off

With that argument you're suggesting that some primary aged kids are in control of whether they skive or not, whereas others here have argued the opposite.

I'd hope that kids are being supported by their parents that it's not just about winning, and therefore not worth doing if you're not getting the prize, whatever it is.

Acis · 14/04/2019 15:43

Shawshanks, you're ignoring the fact that exactly the same circumstances could apply in secondary schools, where children certainly have more control over whether they skive off.

Of course children should be supported by parents to attend. They don't need to be supported by parents to try to win an unwinnable prize.

Original poster

AttendanceHmm · 14/04/2019 15:50

My dc have 100% this term and so were in the draw. Trip is to the cinema.

I can see I'm probably BU, I just can't see the fairness in their procedures.

OP posts:

ShawshanksRedemption · 14/04/2019 15:52

OK Acis, I get your point about disabled people needing time off due to nature of their disability, so perhaps reasonable adjustments should be made for them with regards to that.

I would ask how people here would incentivise children/parents generally to increase attendance at school? IMO the attitude from some people towards education is awful - they see little value in it and this is passed down to their kids who are so switched off from it. I think this is what the attendance drive was supposed to tackle.

AJPTaylor · 14/04/2019 15:55

Has your child been picked?

Original poster

AttendanceHmm · 14/04/2019 15:57

I don't know yet, it wouldn't change my opinion though tbh.

OP posts:

lyralalala · 14/04/2019 15:57

Class attendance awards are a disgraceful way to incentive attendance.

All it does is punish the classmates of the child with a long term health condition, with a disability or who loses a parent/grandparent through the year. How to make the kid who already struggles to fit in even more isolated from their classmates.

At primary school age a way needs to be found to incentivise the parents to get their kids to school if attendance is an issue. It's not down to the kids.

Dippypippy1980 · 14/04/2019 15:58

LIfe will be full of small injustices. I think as parents we need to teach our kids how to keep things in perspective.

This is a tiny tiny thing.

ShawshanksRedemption · 14/04/2019 16:00

@Acis I'm not ignoring it as I was sticking to Primary as that what was in the OPs post.

For one of my DC, sports day was torture, should I have just kept them home that day because they were never going to win?

Newyearnewname2019 · 14/04/2019 16:11

Putting aside genuine illnesses, disibilites and appointments the biggest thing that fucks me off about these awards is it's punishing the kids for parents choices.

If so many kids weren't kept off school due to colds or just plain laziness on the parents behalf (and yes this does happen) then schools wouldn't need to bribe to have them in. All they're achieving is punishing the kids directly that really can't be there 100% due to a minority of parents who have fucked it up for them over the years.
It disgusts me. Kids don't choose to be ill. Why should they be punished for it?

lyralalala · 14/04/2019 16:21

Exactly this.

My parents were abusive and neglectful. My school attendance in P1 and P2 (before I was removed) was shockingly bad. The only thing that these kinds of rewards would do would either be to see me watching everyone else go off and do something really nice or it would have seen me (who was already a grubby, sometimes smelly and therefore unpopular kid) absolutely hated by my classmates because they missed out on a trip because of my attendance.

Parents who don't bother to get their kids to school are not going to suddenly get more organised, or give more of a shit, because their kid has the chance to go to the cinema.

BallsOfFluff · 14/04/2019 16:39

I hate attendance rewards.

There's a whole host of reasons why a child may not be able to attend school. It wasn't such a big deal when I was younger and thank God, because my lowest attendance was 58% and highest, 84%.
My DM was an alcoholic.

It's horrific to punish a child for something out of their control.

YouBumder · 14/04/2019 16:45

there's no typo, what I've written is what is happening.

I’m sorry but the way you’ve written it makes no sense. Who is getting the trip without having to go in the hat? Why are kids with 94% attendance getting to go whilst ones with 100% miss out?

That aside, YANBU. It’s stupid to reward attendance in this way in the first place, and it’s unfair on kids who have been off because they have been ill. It’s also stupid to say it’s a reward for achieving a certain level of attendance, when kids are who haven’t achieved it don’t get to go anyway.

I bet you’ll not be the only one who keeps them off.

BallsOfFluff · 14/04/2019 16:50

But yes, YABU for keeping them off.

Lots of other kids are in the same boat. If you think they deserve a reward for getting through the door, then take them for a treat yourself.

Dippypippy1980 · 14/04/2019 16:50

Ballsoffluff

It’s a bit unfair maybe - but it’s not horrific. Many many things in love are horrific - missing out in a school trip to the cinema is not one of them.

madeyemoodysmum · 14/04/2019 16:50

I agree with you op

Some kids are more poorly than others. Done gave serious medical issues.

Why should we reward what’s basically good luck in health.
May dd has 98.3 % and I’d happily let her have a day off for the circumstance you describe.

lyralalala · 14/04/2019 16:56

I’m sorry but the way you’ve written it makes no sense. Who is getting the trip without having to go in the hat? Why are kids with 94% attendance getting to go whilst ones with 100% miss out?

Mrs X's class has 94% overall so are all going on the trip.

Kids with 100% attendance from other classes are being put in a hat to fill the rest of the spaces on the outing.

YouSayPotatoesISayVodka · 14/04/2019 17:00

I don’t think I’d keep mine off but I agree it’s a stupid, unfair system and I wish schools wouldn’t do things like this. Of course attendance is important, I get that, but it’s hugely unfair to reward or leave out children from things that they have no control over. If my children stay off school it’s because I’ve made the call to keep them off, they don’t get to decide.

Milkand2sugarsplease · 14/04/2019 17:07

Personally I would be requesting that my dd doesn't go into the draw for it. I don't agree with rewarding attendance - after all, you can't help getting poorly and therefore can't reward good health. I have a family member who has considerable health issues requiring lengthy stays in hospital and regular days off school and therefore will never be up for any sort of attendance award. Dds school don't do attendance awards but I would be opting out of them if they did and explaining to dd why.

Original poster

AttendanceHmm · 14/04/2019 19:20

I’m sorry but the way you’ve written it makes no sense. Who is getting the trip without having to go in the hat? Why are kids with 94% attendance getting to go whilst ones with 100% miss out?

The whole of Mrs X's class are going for having 4 weeks of over 96%. Obviously there'll have been students with 98% and 94% in that class, they're all going.

Rest of school will go into the draw if they've had 100% since September

OP posts:

Acis · 14/04/2019 19:29

LIfe will be full of small injustices. I think as parents we need to teach our kids how to keep things in perspective. This is a tiny tiny thing.

It's not a small injustice to the child who misses out time after time because of disability or chronic illness. Don't you think they have enough to cope with already?

Acis · 14/04/2019 19:30

For one of my DC, sports day was torture, should I have just kept them home that day because they were never going to win?

Yes, if it was torture - pointless putting your child through that. Or you could have talked to the school about what they could do to prevent it being torture, e.g. giving your child something useful to do so s/he didn't have to compete.

Quietlife333 · 14/04/2019 19:34

I think if you want to take them out for a day you should. They are your children, their attendance is fine and it’s up to you. I’m so over all the attendance drives at our school, they are pushing and pushing kids now days, my eldest child in year 6 is doing half an hour sats test every single school day since September. It’s utter nonsense. Take them out, have a lovely day, you only live once xx

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