My children's diet is my choice

[Alx7]

AIBU to think what my children eat shouldn't be up to other people, or be open to criticism.

Weetabix is one of the most common weaning foods DD is 8 months and has been having it for 2 months for breakfast, mashed with whole milk and half a banana.

The only time it would become a problem is if it was being served several times a day. I also think you're getting confused and the baby who died was being fed ready brek - also fine in normal portion sizes.

I’m with you OP on other people respecting what you wish to feed your children.
I have a child with complicated dietary needs for medical reasons - he could die if fed the wrong things. Initially certain family members didn’t take me seriously at all and just shrugged it off as me being difficult, overprotective mother So I then had a complete emotional meltdown, and explained in detail what it’s like to watch your baby be resuscitated right in front of you because of exposure to the wrong foods. They get it now, and no one question it. Although some people still do get antsy when I say no to them when they want to give my older child a cupcake right in front of the younger one
All in all, I’m not big on restricting sweets/treats etc to special occasions, but my kids have been brought up knowing that they have to have eaten “proper food” ie a main meal, before they get sweets etc. But I’m not opposed to them having the odd Happy Meal or something

My MIL shovelled a load of chocolate buttons into DD's mouth the other day, despite me saying I haven't given her chocolate yet and I wasn't planning on doing so any time soon.. she's 8 months old. Sigh.

I think it's a generation thing - my mum asked if I'd given her chocolate pudding yet when she was 5 months old.

My mil bought my son a milky way stars egg and a couple of sharing bags of them for "Easter treat" he wasnt even four months old and was lactose intolerant she thought it was ok because it was "milky way" 6 years on I still dont get her reasoning

@speakout

I’m like you- except for me, it’s about not making food either a battleground or a reward system.

My DM always made chocolate and sweets a reward or treat- or used them as a carrot in a “carrot/ stick” sense.

DS has pudding most days after dinner- a sliver of cake, couple of plain biscuits (like rich tea), scoop of ice cream or a toddler size chocolate. Usually accompanied by fruit or a plain yogurt.

As a result, he will say no to sweet foods if offered and he doesn’t fee hungry/ in the mood- because they’re not unusual.

I’m a pretty “right on” parent- but food isn’t something I can get het up about. If he’s getting enough “whole foods” 5-7 fruit and veg, some protein, enough carbs and dairy- and brushing his teeth- I’m happy. The rest is just noise as far as I’m concerned.

Your DCs diet will become more and more the business of your DCs. Teens, with pocket money, will be able to control a large part of their diet and very soon they will be adults who will control all of their diet. Telling them things about food that are wrong, e.g. sugar sends you loopy, or at best very questionable, e.g. sugar is addictive, wont do them any favours.

When you say she's given the 2 year old a large easter egg with chocolate bars. Do you mean she has let the child eat it all in one go?
Or just given the box to be opened later?
If it's just given in the box I would say it's up to you to portion it. I couldn't imagine giving a child an opened half egg for Easter?!

OP I’m with you on this. My dh and I have a huge issue with our diet. I’ve always hidden my binge eating of sugar laden treats. But now dh is pre-diabetic we’ve both kicked the sugar from our diets, and it’s been so hard . Our kids have never really had much of it, occasionally treats. And yes they do go mad on sugar because their bodies are not used to it. And tbh i reckon if your kids don’t go mad they’ve obviously got some kind of tolerance to sugar perhaps from consuming a lot of it. I’ve had a battle with the breakfast club to stop giving my son honey in his cereal or on his toast, I’m told it’s natural and ok. It’s still sugar and as he also has weak enamel from being premature I do not want him having it (he can’t brush his teeth at school). There is no health benefits from sugar, NONE.

Having an open cupboard of cakes, crisps, chocolate, fizzy drinks does not guarantee your children will grow up not fussed by the stuff. It certainly didn’t work I’m my instance.

They learn about healthy eating at school and we discuss it and now model it at home. Of course my children may go down to the shop and blow their pocket money on bags of tangtastics when they are old enough but it is their body and they will know the consequences of a poor diet (photographs of us).

Keep doing what you’re doing.

I think YAB a bit U. If it was your first baby and you were just being really careful up to around 2 years, I wouldn't think much of it. But ages 2-9? They should have a little more freedom. By all means don't have treats in the house if you don't want, but the monthly trip to grandma's? Why worry about that? Let them indulge. It's a special occasion in itself, surely?
My Dsis is a bit like you and tbh it drives us all crazy at times! It turns a nice family get together into a stressful tense time whee the children are being watched and monitored, warned, bribed and cajoled into having a carrot stick when they wanted a second biscuit...
She also attributes any meltdown to the more or less non-existent sugar he's had from half a biscuit. I think it's a way of excusing and denying poor behaviour and not dealing with the actual bratty behaviour. Kids will have meltdowns whether you give them sugar or not.

@Ali1cedowntherabbithole

I used to believe “the kids don’t go crazy on sugar, it’s just excitement” research. Then one day the dog accidentally got hold of a packet of sweets and went berserk

I used to think that badger poo wasn't appropriate food for my kids, but then I saw how much the dog enjoyed eating it and I realised it was fine.

I think people should be careful about judging. My son gets breakfast then since it’s 30 mins to school often has something like cheddars or crisps on route.

Most people I know who say their children are driven crazy by sugar just have rather lively and/or badly behaved children and are blaming the sugar, but I'm sure there are a few with conditions that mean that this is actually true. In any case there are are plenty of other reasons to limit sugar so YANBU.

I hate to point out sugar has also been proven as a highly addictive substance -
This isn't true. A brain scan was done on people eating sugar and it does not light up the addiction parts of the brain.

Also OP sweets don't make you feel sick. Too many sweets might.

You shouldn't need crisps or cheddars to walk 30 minutes to school if you've eaten breakfast though

Ali1cedowntherabbithole beware of human sweets that may have xylitol in them (usually marketed as a safer alternative to sugar) because it is lethal to dogs. You really can't make cross species comparisons that easily. The 'sugar is addictive' claim comes from one behavioural study in rats that didn't even aim to distinguish between psychological and physiological addiction.

She let a 2 year old eat an entire easter egg in one sitting - specifically taking it out and putting it in a bowl. Not a gift to bring home.

I think people should be careful about judging. My son gets breakfast then since it’s 30 mins to school often has something like cheddars or crisps on route.

To be fair I’d be judging the fuck out of that.

She let a 2 year old eat an entire easter egg in one sitting - specifically taking it out and putting it in a bowl. Not a gift to bring home.

She's BU.There is a happy medium and you and MIL are at extremes, albeit opposite.

An entire Easter egg in one go for a two year old is way too much I would say something about that. It’s not even Easter yet what’s wrong with people?!? I suppose the bloody things have been in the shops since Jan.
I wouldn’t eat a whole Easter egg in one go - one reason being that it would be all gone with no more too look forward to. My DD tried to open hers yesterday I said no frigging way it’s not Easter.

Siameeasy how does your DD know she has one. The Easter bunny delivers mine(I have teens 15 and 18 * and they remain hidden until then. Play the game!

Her uncle who is a complete sugar addict gave her it greenpop when she and DH were round there. He has previously tried to give her a boiled sweet and got the right hump when I said no! I’ve told her it’s going to the food bank for a child with no egg as she now has four eggs!

If the grandparents are looking after my kids they can give them what they like

Nope.

Also I do find sugar (or more to the point, chocolate because I don’t like sweets) addictive - whatever the science says. I can’t have the stuff in the house. If you don’t think it’s addictive try giving it up completely because if it’s not addictive to you you will easily be able to. I actually found giving up smoking easier.

Within reason yes you can choose your child's diet but no you are not simply free to do as you please. restricting junk is fine and sensible. Cant she buy them some nice fruit or bake together rather processed rubbish? It also depends on the age of the child. Primary school age and under then it seems sensible not to want them eating loads of crap. Is MIL trying to show love through food? Could you suggest that she spend the money on experiences or baking supplies so the kids have special memories of her rather than sugar cravings?

I have an 8 month old the sorts of things people are doing are shocking and then they moan about the HV wanting to monitor them....