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AIBU?

His and his exes conservatory furniture

38 replies

Hulahoop14 · 12/04/2019 17:40

Hi, I’m new here, without sounding sad I’ve no one else really to ask this to!

I’m engaged, get married in September this year for the 2nd time. The beginning of this week, my fiancé came home from work (he works as an electrician) with some gorgeous conservatory furniture. We’ve needed some for a while, but having just paid our wedding off, we decided to wait a while before buying more. He said a customer at work was getting rid of it and asked him if it was any use to him. It needed sprucing up a bit, but as I’m good with my sewing machine, I said I would make more covers and it would be fine.

A day later I bumped into a friend of my brothers (who’s parents live down the road from my fiancé’s ex wife and kids), who asked if I liked the new furniture. I asked how he knew and he said that he’d helped my fiancé carry it up to his van from his ex’s garden! I immediately called my fiancé, who for about 5 minutes was adamant he’d got it from work, then finally admitted it was from the house he had with his ex wife!! I’ve asked him to take it away as I don’t want it, but he’s said I’m being daft and it’s juts furniture. I am hormonal at the moment, so can someone tell me, am I being unreasonable to not want furniture from his ex wife’s house?!

OP posts:

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LindaLa · 12/04/2019 18:17

My ex-dh had an ercol table that belonged to his dad.
When I moved, I asked ex if he wanted to take it and his gf said "I don't want anything that has been near that woman or her house"
I heard her say it over the phone.

Told him I'd dispose of it and gave it to a local charity.

She is petty but you seem to have bigger issues here.

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Mitzimaybe · 12/04/2019 18:19

I may or may not keep the furniture depending on whether I liked it, but the lies would be a dealbreaker for me. Why did he lie? What else is he lying about?

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Disfordarkchocolate · 12/04/2019 18:23

I'd be worried about the lies but if I could spruce up the furniture so it was my taste I would have coped with that.

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ShaggyRug · 12/04/2019 18:24

Where the furniture came from wouldn’t bother me. That he’d lied to me would really bother me. Hugely. I cannot abide liars.

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PlainSpeakingStraightTalking · 12/04/2019 18:26

@Mitzimaybe

I may or may not keep the furniture depending on whether I liked it, but the lies would be a dealbreaker for me

Oh ffs!! So you keep the ex wifes furniture but bin the bloke?.

You couldn't write the absolute bollox on this forum if you were scripting EastEnders

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TheGodmother · 12/04/2019 18:28

@PlainSpeakingStraightTalking maybe that's because you've never been in a relationship with a liar! And that's a big whacking lie, involving the kids too.

What else do they lie about??

It's not that black and white.

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DitheringBlidiot · 12/04/2019 18:31

I think he probably lied because he knew you might not be super happy about it. Conservatory furniture is fine off an ex, not like it’s a bed etc

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TripleSeptic · 12/04/2019 18:43

YABU, you're alright marrying her ex, but not sitting on her admittedly gorgeous ex conservatory furniture? I'd bin him and try to bag a virgin who lives at home with his parents. I suspect he didn't tell you because he knew how you'd react. You sound a bit high maintenance TBH. sorry!

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Justmuddlingalong · 12/04/2019 18:44

It's conservatory furniture, not their martial bed.

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Doghorsechicken · 12/04/2019 18:47

I don’t care about the furniture, I’ve still left wallpaper up and used furniture from DH’s ex. It doesn’t really bother me. What would bother me is the lie!

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GoldenPineapples · 12/04/2019 18:50

I don't think I'd want furniture that my soon to be dh might have shagged his ex on.

No it's not a bed but people do shag on other furniture too, especially sofas etc..

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Purpleartichoke · 12/04/2019 18:53

My DH uses furniture my ex and I bought together.

But I didn’t lie about it. I also got rid of the few things that did bother him.

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MitziK · 12/04/2019 19:05

Meh. DP sleeps in the bed I nobbed my exes in. He doesn't know, probably thinks I changed the mattress at least. But it cost a fucking fortune, I paid for it, like it and he doesn't know won't hurt him.

Looking forward to replacing it in the next or so, though.

After all, nobody ever sits in conservatory furniture more than a couple of times, other than the cat.

Presumably he paid at least half, so they're as much his, his ex presumably doesn't want them/her half and you've changed them. They're no different to the customer not wanting them in his story or getting them from a charity shop or Gumtree.