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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Has anyone managed to overcome a fear of spiders?

74 replies

AbsentmindedWoman · 12/04/2019 11:25

So frustrated with myself on this. I know they can't hurt me, and I'm fine with them if I see them outside etc so I'm not as phobic as some people. I'm also fine with tiny or very spindly ones and not scared at all of tarantulas. It's the average or large house spiders when they suddenly appear or run fast.

Seeing them in my flat makes me shaky and a little nauseated if I'm about to eat. To the point if they're running and I'm taken by surprise, I'd be worried I'd drop my laptop or cup of tea/ plate of food as my reflex to jump away is so strong. I cannot afford to drop my new MacBook!

Has anyone overcome this degree of fear?

OP posts:

MagnusMama · 12/04/2019 11:30

Yes!
I used to be pretty petrified of them, but when my pfb was tiny, I was changing her on the bathroom floor (on a changing mat) when a largish house spider scuttled over and was about to crawl up her tummy... and I just picked it up and threw it into the corner!
So, grab your partner... but I'm afraid you'll have to wait 9mo for the cure to take effect

HugoBearsMummy · 12/04/2019 11:30

Nope! And although they're harmless fucking disgusting creatures that's still of no comfort. Thank goodness I don't live in Oz or such places where they're the size of dinner plates - I'd have had a heart attack by now!
I must admit since becoming a Mum I'm able to 'deal with them' (obliterate with a slipper) or chuck them outside once caught in a glass, but it leaves me shaking and itching for about an hour afterwards. Would love not to be afraid though as it's so pathetic & irrational !

Sarahlou63 · 12/04/2019 11:32

I used to be hysterical when I was a child but grew to love them when I realised they eat flies! I will go out of my way to avoid harming them now.

ItchySeveredFoot · 12/04/2019 11:33

Like pp I've gotten a little better since having kids. I don't want my girls to be afraid so we make a big deal of watching them and saying high to them. We named one in the kitchen and used to watch it catch flies!
I also had to wrestle a spider out of dd1s fist when she tried to eat one at 5 months!

Duster12 · 12/04/2019 11:33

Start watching redback videos on youtube, after you've got through them move on to tarantulas.

DontCallMeCharlotte · 12/04/2019 11:34

I cannot afford to drop my new MacBook!

That could be the key. I used to vomit if I had to take liquid medicine, especially cough medicine. I had a really bad cough and I really needed to take it so I took it leaning over my work keyboard and away from the bathroom because I knew I couldn't throw up over that!

But to be fair to you, the big speedy ones are enough to give even the hardest person a fright. Maybe just make sure the MacBook is well insured!

GrouchyKiwi · 12/04/2019 11:35

I'm working on it, though unlike you I was scared of tarantulas. I held one recently. It was quite nice really. Helped that she was called Charlotte.

I've not seen any big spiders at home since then so I don't know if it has helped at all.

Deadringer · 12/04/2019 11:35

I was frightened of spiders as a child and often had nightmares about them. When I had my first child I didn't want her to be scared of them too so I bluffed it out when we saw one and eventually got over the fear. I would get a start if a huge one ran past me, but I am not frightened of them any more. Fake it till you make it I guess.

NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace · 12/04/2019 11:35

I'm not over keen but can manage to catch them and put them outside. I definitely don't kill them.

SickOfThePig · 12/04/2019 11:36

Probably no help but I used to have a deadly fear of lightening but I got over it so there is hope!

GrouchyKiwi · 12/04/2019 11:37

Also my fear came from an incident in my childhood, and from living in a country where venomous spiders do exist so being careful is important. I'm trying really hard to make sure I don't pass it on to my children since there aren't dangerous spiders in the UK.

LakieLady · 12/04/2019 11:37

Not spiders, OP, but I'm bird phobic and, when it got so bird I had an irresistible urge to duck every time a bird flew towards my windscreen when driving, I had CBT.

I'm still scared, but nothing like as bad as I was.

I had to pay for it privately though, I couldn't get any help on the NHS. I had to do it though, as it was so bad I felt it wasn't safe for me to continue driving.

LakieLady · 12/04/2019 11:37

Got so bad, not bird!

SickOfThePig · 12/04/2019 11:38

*Deathly fear, not deadly .

64sNewName · 12/04/2019 11:39

I have heard really good things about the London Zoo day course for overcoming arachnophobia. The zoo nearest me now does a similar course modelled on the London one and I am considering booking. Big house spiders ruin autumn for me and everyone who has to live with me

Jolonglegs · 12/04/2019 11:40

No I haven't, and that applies to any creepy crawley. Its pathetic for someone who likes to think of themself as being rational. If I see any in the house I shriek and shout for DP to move them. Even the kids think I'm ridiculous.

jaseyraex · 12/04/2019 11:43

Have tried and failed. Although I am scared of any and all spiders, no matter how small! Does your local zoo run a spider phobia workshop? I did one at mine, and although it didn't work for me, I think it might help your degree of fear. They have a hypnotherapist in, you get to talk about your fear and try to get to the bottom of why you're scared, they dont show any pictures of spiders during the talk. But at the end of the day there is the option to try and catch a common house spider, or just simply be around it in its tank and see how you feel. I know a few people who found the workshop successful.

64sNewName · 12/04/2019 11:46

Yy to other creepy crawlit’s. Anything quick with lots of legs

When heavily pregnant with dc1 I went to Greece for a week and we stayed in a pretty villa on the ground floor. Every night it was full of large delicate fernlike millipede things partying all over the floors, and I kept on having to get up and brave them to go to the loo because of pregnancy bladder pressure. Was SO grim.

64sNewName · 12/04/2019 11:47

*crawlies

Lizzie48 · 12/04/2019 11:51

I'm not afraid of spiders, as they don't hurt me and are in fact more afraid of us than we could ever be of them. I wouldn't like to find one in my bed having said that!

My DDs (10 and 7) are terrified of them, though, so it's just as well I'm not.

I'm totally phobic of wasps, though. I haven't a clue how to conquer that fear so I'm of no help, sadly.

stitchwitch84 · 12/04/2019 11:53

I was phobic until I woke in the night once with one sitting IN MY EYE SOCKET. I threw it across the room 😆 and weirdly, after that, they lost their fear factor for me. I quite like them now!

ShinyRuby · 12/04/2019 11:53

I'm just the same, so scared of the big house spiders but not bothered about others. I used to trust dh to get rid of them but he'd drop them & say it didn't matter, when for me they have to be out of the house. Used to hoover them but I felt cruel. So I got a 'spider kit' ready. It's a pint glass, a postcard & some foil. Put the foil on top of the postcard, glass over the spider, slide onto foil & card, fold foil over glass & flip it over. Chuck outside quickly. I keep it all ready in a cupboard & it's helped me deal with them calmly. Not sure about the initial shock when you see one though, very soft carpet for your MacBook???

AllTheUserNamesAreTaken · 12/04/2019 11:58

64snewname which zoo (other than London) is doing the course?

Lellochip · 12/04/2019 11:59

I've done the London zoo course and it was great! Would recommend it 100% - might still make me jump when I suddenly spot one but then it's all fine.

I was one of the less phobic ones on my day but there were 40-odd people there and I think all but one or maybe two managed to catch and release the big house spider at the end. Most also held one of the tarantulas. Quite expensive but I was your kind of level of fear and don't regret doing it. For people who are so bad they spend all day on 'high alert' and crash cars/drop babies/sleep outside when they see one, it could be life-changing

BernardsarenotalwaysSaints · 12/04/2019 12:30

I too found having dc helped greatly as I didn’t want to show them I was afraid of them, have them be like it too. I am much better now, still not keen but can tolerate them. So far only Dc2 really does like them. Dc5 was a late July baby though so I was night feeding during the mating season this meant I had to keep my legs up on something because I was a bit worried about one running up my leg

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