about money? I think I probably am...

[Heartbroken2007]

I'm single, late 20s and renting in London, on a good wage.

After paying rent and bills, paying off a good chunk of my credit card and a loan each month (my own fault I know), gym membership, phone bill etc and for (some very much needed therapy) I have about £550 a month left for everything else (so all food/toiletries, any going out or new clothes/make up etc) I don't drink or smoke.

I know on paper I'm am stupidly lucky, it's my fault I need to put £££s a month towards paying down my debt, I'm just feeling a bit blue tonight about friends with much much higher disposable income who can afford big holidays abroad (America, Japan etc) and have savings etc and like I've failed for my age.

Please give me a gentle virtual slap and remind me I'm lucky.

Look, that sort of spending tells you nothing about people's circumstances. In my late 20s I was the slim girl with the perfect nails, the Chanel lipstick, the posh bags and constantly buggering off to France or America. I'm sure I made everyone sick. I was massively in debt because I was stupid about money and thought that I could live a life which you actually have to be very wealthy to comfortably afford. I sorted it out in my 30s and after ten years or so am now a fairly frumpy middle aged woman who is not too badly off at all because she's got a much better handle on what lifestyle her income can support. I know that all sounds very boring and old but what you are doing now, in paying off your debts and getting sorted out, will make you miles happier in 10 years time than you feel it will right now.

£550 is all I have for everything a month. I could only dream of that being my disposable income. 🙄

I will give you the gentle slap,
It partly depends where your friends are from, nearly 20 years ago I studied for a particular career after uni, of a group of 10 of us on a course our first year salary ranged from 18k-40k and neither of those amounts would have covered the student debt attached but some of the better paid contracts were clearing student loans if you went to work for them.
So yes some of us were living very lavishly with money to burn, others were living beyond their means and others were treading water.
And whilst £550 is a lot of money for disposable income certain jobs had quite high expectations of the clothes you wore, your grooming, your shoes, that money doesn't go very far then. Plus if you work longer hours you are less likely to cook at home so eat out more, lots of work networking goes/went on at functions but also in bars where even non alcoholic drinks are expensive.
So depending on what you are doing as a job I can see why £550 doesn't go far

Oh poor you, £550 spare after all bills a month? How do you survive?! Yabu. I had £5 spare some months, so do shove off, dear.

Not sure what size your debt is, but definitely I would work on paying that off. How did you get into debt? Was it a necessity or recklessness? You can't change the past but you can learn from your mistakes. Take your credit card out of your purse, if you still have it, and shut it away for extreme emergencies only.

Make it a challenge to see how little you can spend - if you find it hard, do a week on and a week off. Take cash out and see how long you can make £50 last.

Look at what you spend on food and cut that down, for example if you are buying M&S meals and not cooking - there are loads of websites with great ideas for eating frugally on a budget. Taking a sandwich/salad to work with you will save you £20 a week = £80 a month. Throw buying coffees and bottled water into the equation and you've probably got yourself £150 a month to pay off your credit card - that's £1800 over a year.

Look into your phone use - do you need the package you've got? A sim only deal is often better, keep the phone you have, no need to keep upgrading it, it's only fashion and habit.

Resolve not to buy new clothes for a year. Or at the VERY least only buy one item a month. Younger people now seem to expect to buy a new outfit for each new occasion - it's not necessary and the environmental cost of disposable clothing is enormous (you can always say that's what you're doing if anyone comments!)

Oh, and turn your thermostat down a couple of degrees as well as checking the heating timer isn't coming on when you're out or in bed. Because of this, my energy company have just reduced my direct debit by £19 a month which is £250 ish a year less.

Be proud of what you do have and don't compare - you don't know what debts other people might have built up along with their designer stuff!

Try having nothing left after paying Bill's, or struggling to find the cash to live, here's a not so gentle slap across your very lucky face. Be grateful you are so fortunate

Oh if you want to save more do a budget work out how much you spend on food and Bill's and shop around, food shopping aldi ? Ser a food budget, change energy suppliers, better deals on phones and Wii etc?

£550 is lots for one person! And bills often have scope for savings. Pay off £200 a month off your debts and cut up your credit cards.

If you have £550 pm left after rent and bills as a single person in London, your salary must be very high.

Is your debt going down now and have you got your credit cards on interest free deals so the money you pay reduces the balance instead of paying the interest?

Can you cut down as much as possible on clothes/make up etc?

What is your food costing you? Do you cook at home and take packed lunch to work, or are you spending lots on food and drink outside the house - if you eat out a lot, or always buy your lunch, this can cost loads.

You probably could afford a good holiday each year if you saved some money each month - say £100-150 pm would give you enough for a long haul holiday.

Sounds like you need the moneysavingexpert money makeover to minimise all your expenses, make sure your debt is on as low an interest rate as possible, so is going down quickly, and make the most of your disposable income so you can afford those holidays.

But don't compare yourself with others, you have no idea about their finances, they could be in debt, or could have had an inheritence that means they live mortgage free etc.

I view myself as financially comfortable and even I’m left with just £3 at the end of the month! It’s depressing when you’re young. I remember having a love interest who had paid for my holiday, I just needed to get the connecting flights and passport. I couldn’t afford either so I couldn’t go. I have a feeling I’d have a family with them now if I could have gone! It’s hard in your 20s but you’ll get mixed responses here

Well you could save half that every month and in 6 months you'd have enough for an amazing trip somewhere.

You know you're being a prat by saying "waaaaahhh, £500 after billls, poor me"

I'd pay extra off my CC and save for the holiday.

How much is the credit card debt and loan? What interest rates? could you roll into one single cheap loan?

£500 a month to yourself? Well you can save £400 a month and live off £100 if you wanted to like a lot of people, including me.

I think you need to focus on cutting back and paying off your debts as quickly as possible then you will have enough for savings/holiday.

That’s more than we have to feed clothe and entertain a family of 6! You can clear debts quicker and spend less then you can build up savings and have holidays

Yes, yabu but it's hard when the people you associate with, seem to have more. You always compare yourself to those who have more, not less. It's human nature.
How much debt are you talking? Can you have a really frugal few months and pay those off? Then start again?

I lived in London, after my bills I had over £1000 disposable income and I still had CC debt! It's a super expensive place to live!

OP i have that left too roughly but i put £200 of it into savings so i am left with £300 ish. I don't shop for new clothes or go out much, thats how i do my holidays. I am lucky to get an annual bonus too that goes straight into savings for holidays.

It doesn't have to be though ketchup. People always say that there's lots of free stuff to do, transport is cheap compared to the rest of the country and you're more likely to have a travel pass for work and no other travel costs.

A lot of restaurants etc are similar in price to everywhere else and the OP doesn't drink so it's not like she's spending all her money on £15 cocktails.

I don't know why people are saying it's disposable income, OP has to pay for food out of that which isn't cheap in central London. So she probably has £250 a month of not a little less, on a city where a glass of wine is easily £10 she's not exactly living the lifestyle of a high roller and for those saying get a cheaper gym, the £10.99 deals don't exist in the city. OP you need to focus on clearing your debt, it's that that's stopping you saving and you've enjoyed yourself to accrue it, so lesson learned. Hope much do you have left to pay on your loan and credit card, is there any way to consolidate them for lower interest?

I get why you are feeling down Op. the people we spend our time with set our “normal” that we compare ourselves to- that’s human nature.

My suggestions

• make sure you are being as savvy as possible with getting your debt down: come and join the debt thread
• do you really need a gym membership? Are there other, cheaper, ways you could exercise? (Running is free...)

-is your rent as cheap as it could reasonably be? Or could you rent somewhere smaller/ cheaper?

• is your phone contract as cheap as possible?
• what are you “frittering” money on? Are there things you could stop buying to help save up?

But yes, the reality is they may have wealthy parents helping, or cheap or free rent in London, or all manner of reasons that mean even on the same salary they can afford a very different lifestyle

Get rid of your gym membership and go running instead. Also change from contract phone to Sim only/pay as you go if possible? There must be a few ways you can make changes

I'm not going to slap you when you're responsibly working to pay off your debts. If I were you I'd consider taking up running and cancelling the gym membership. It might be worth it to get out of debt faster.

And I do sympathise, paying down debt is hard when your friends seem to be living the high life. But you're doing the right thing, hang in there.