about money? I think I probably am...

[Heartbroken2007]

I'm single, late 20s and renting in London, on a good wage.

After paying rent and bills, paying off a good chunk of my credit card and a loan each month (my own fault I know), gym membership, phone bill etc and for (some very much needed therapy) I have about £550 a month left for everything else (so all food/toiletries, any going out or new clothes/make up etc) I don't drink or smoke.

I know on paper I'm am stupidly lucky, it's my fault I need to put £££s a month towards paying down my debt, I'm just feeling a bit blue tonight about friends with much much higher disposable income who can afford big holidays abroad (America, Japan etc) and have savings etc and like I've failed for my age.

Please give me a gentle virtual slap and remind me I'm lucky.

Don't compare your life to others. Just enjoy the lot you've got! That's all you can do. Things and holidays don't make you happy, it's your mindset.

Honestly as a single person you could easily get your spending for groceries / clothes / going out down to more like £300 a month and put £250 away each month for a holiday, as £550 is a lot of disposable cash for a single person.

I have £390 for myself and my child, food, petrol and entertainment....

£550 a month after all bills etc is more than I have as a teacher with 30 years’ experience. I work in a private school so my pay is less than it would be in state, but even so... you have plenty of money. You can save for holidays easily.

Some people have no money left at the end of the month, so yes, you are lucky.

It's plenty to live on but I understand it's not loads - most of my friends in London earn between 3 and 10 times more than I do and don't have expensive childcare/ general child costs either. They might spend that in one weekend without thinking on theatre, meal, cabs, a new pair of shoes... I feel "poor" in comparison even though I know I'm not. So I get it. I think I'd need £120 a week to live comfortably (£50-60 on food shop in central London , £60-70 on going out / other food, hobbies, clothes, toiletries, presents etc) which is only a little under and I'm not extravagant at all.

Having said that if you really wanted to it sounds like you could cut down on your expenditure significantly.

Put 50 into savings each month. Set it up to automatically transfer on the day you get paid. That leaves you with 125 a week. One person can get by on £40 a week for food (that is generous!) that leaves you with £85 a week for socialising and extras.

Budget £50 a week for socialising (again, generous) that still gives you £35 a week or £140 a month for luxuries!

Firstly, you don’t really know how much disposable income each person has.
Secondly, you need to change your attitude;not “I’m broke/don’t have enough” but more “I’m prioritising paying off my debt over holidays in USA”. Make it your choice because it is.
In th

And to add... once you start saving it becomes addictive. Seeing that money build up gives you a boost like no other! Especially when it becomes habit and you don’t check for a while!

London isn't cheap and I suspect that's a huge part of your problem.

Our mortgage on a two bed house with a garden, five minutes from several beaches wouldn't even get us a room in a house share in London! And our mortgage isn't expensive by any means - £320 a month.

£550 left after bills? You poor wee soul. My heart bleeds. 🎻

Find it weird you'd budget for phone and gym before food? Food seems more like a 'bill' and the other two are more dispensable.

If you want more money to save for holidays, cancel gym and get a cheap payg phone contract. holidays don't have to cost loads if you plan.

Also, those other people could be in debt. or they could have inherited wealth or something. it's hard to tell from appearances so I wouldn't compare yourself to others, it will make you miss things you don't even want!

I can just about afford a tiny violin for you.

I spent my 20s wondering why everyone earned so much more than me - I worked hard and had a good job, but all my friends had done the same in more lucrative industries.
I've always been confused as to how young women afford labelled clothing, shoes etc. More of them than i realised turned out to be semi-subsidised by parents, or had been helped into well paid jobs through family connections.
Those in couples are also paying lower living expenses overall - that helps them save.

OP I get your frustration - £550 is decent (you know that) but tbh in London once you take out weekly travel card and groceries, it's actually not a huge amount.
I agree about looking at budgeting apps to help shape your thinking around saving/spending - but pay off your debt first

TBH living in London £550 deposable cash is very impressive!

I can happily live on £200 in the SW can you live on £400 and save £150?

Don’t compare will drive you mad!

Diddums.

Comparison is the thief of joy OP. Stop thinking about what you don’t have and look at what you do.

The positive you can focus upon is that you have a LOT more money than many, many people on here so despite not having the fancy holidays which you feel you’re missing out on, you are in a very good place.

I would aim to save another £100 a month so you can build up a contingency fund and after a year, if you haven’t needed to dip into it, use it to pay a big chunk off your debt. Aim to do free stuff as much as possible as well and cut down your general spending.

Lastly, I’d say look at doing some sort of charity work. Working with people who have so much less than you (for example if you work with the homeless or refugees) should make you realise that you are in a fortunate position and help you get out of this mind set.

every month or week try not doing one of your luxuries.so night out.or clothes.by all non branded foods etc.and then each month a least you will be seeing your putting something away.once you see those savings it might help motivate to do bigger or different to save.
nothing wrong with france either op.
because you are lucky.very.so enjoy every moment.
the things you are able to do each month is what most would strive to do with a perfect life!

£550 is a whopping spends budget. You can easily cut this right down. You don't need new clothes and toiletries every month, food shopping can be really cheap and you can easily find cheap or free ways to fill your weekends. If you put some of this money towards paying down debt you will be debt free much quicker. Then once everything is paid off you can start putting the money that was clearing debt into a savings account instead. Then go on a fancy holiday to Japan :)

I would say that's a decent amount of disposable income for a single person to be honest - I don't think we have too much more, and we are a family of 4.

I would firstly look at making sure your debt payments are going towards paying off debt and not paying off interest by looking into balance transfers etc.

When that is all sorted if it isn't already, it's really a time for you to reflect on what you are looking for longer term. What is most important to you? It doesn't matter what others are doing, it only matters what you would like to do and what you would like to focus on. Think about where you would like to be in two or five years time. Make yourself some goals so that you are working towards something tangible.

When you have thought about that you can make yourself a new budget which enables you to work towards the things that are most important to you, and work out where the balance lies in terms of short term sacrifice for longer term benefit. For example, you need to weigh up whether your gym membership is enhancing your quality of life vs the money saved if you cancelled it, and saved the money towards a yearly holiday...

It's really easy to see what everyone else has and compare, but in reality a lot of things that would make one person happy, will not make another happy, so you really have to forge your own path.

Why do people respond just to be vindictive? It’s all relative! I lived on £80 a month after bills for a while and coped. Now my income is higher, my standard of living has improved! There is no need to be snide. We tend to live to the higher end of our means. No matter what you have that can cause conflicts.

Absolutely Maccapacca88! The OP was not suggesting she (assuming here) was being hard done by and acknowledged other people have a much harder time financially. Never heard the phrase ‘comparison is the thief of joy’ before but it is a good one.

I get that if you are surrounded by people in a much better off position you are bound to feel fed up comparing yourself to them. It is always easier being slightly better off than your friends, even if you are less well off than you are.

YABU, but at least you know it. If it helps, I know someone with the perfect IG who also has £15k credit card debt from jetting off places. There's often a lot going on behind the scenes!