To worry that DS is putting the deposit down for a joint mortgage?

[yunhi]

DS is 26 and his girlfriend is 21. He has a large amount of money that was used to purchase a flat from when his father died. His girlfriend recently moved in and now they are buying a house together. He's putting 100k into it and it will be a joint mortgage. Doesn't that mean if they split, she will be entitled to half of that? He says he isn't concerned about that at all. But AIBU to be slightly worried here?

[needsahouseboy]

I put up the deposit for my home and I had a deeds of trust that stipulated that I would get 20% of the property or £38000 whichever was greater if the house was sold. Very glad I did as he fecked off with someone else and tried to say he had rights to half the value of the house.

Tell your son he really needs this and tbh his solicitor should be telling him this as well.

[polarpig]

Yes, it's tenants in common.

[OneDayillSleep]

He's being very naive if he think "it'll be fine". He definitely needs to speak to someone about how to protect his 100k, it is possible to do that.

When I bought my house with my then fiancé we were 9 months off getting married. Our solicitor (who is also very good friends with my in laws) said to me "I know this doesn't really matter as you are about to get married but you should know if anything goes wrong before you are married it's likely the split would be 50/50 as you are both on this mortgage". I put in over 4 times more deposit than my husband. I probably was a little foolish myself but the wedding was booked and I was 9 months pregnant besides!

I think your son needs to realise it isn't about being pessimistic thinking their relationship won't work, it's more about protecting the money that was left to him.

[TriciaH87]

In this case I suggest he has it put into paperwork that he owns %more or that deposit is paid back if split then rest split 50 50. My partner and I bought our home last year. We have 2 children do it's a bit different. His mum paid deposit for us and mortgage in his name as at time I could not go on due to earnings. Both pay half mortgage but as stands legally I have no say. We however agreed from day 1 if we split we sell the house give his mum her deposit and split 50 50. He wouldnt screw me over for our children's sake but after 10 years I have no concerns about it happening. When we get to remortgage in couple years I will be added on but will make sure it states that the deposit goes to his mum or him in event something has happened to her.

[stopwining]

There is so much bad advice in this thread. It's very simple. His conveyancer will ask him and his GF how they want to purchase the house, tenants in common or joint tenants. They will be allowed to allocate the split by % based on eBay preach puts in as deposit and it won't cost any extra, it's just part of the house buying process

[stopwining]

*how much
Not eBay preach

[Helpmepleasenow48]

They can be tenants in common - so the amount of deposit he puts in is his.

[churchthecat]

He needs to legally ringfence the cost of his flat.

[AlaskanOilBaron]

I'd be very unhappy about this. My husband is all ready to put some of our assets in our children's names and I keep on brining up this possibility (probability, really).

Tread carefully, I guess, but do try to get your point across. Good luck.

[NoWordForFluffy]

Any conveyancing solicitor worth their salt will suggest protecting the deposit when they establish its source.

But as everyone has already said cancel the cheque it's very easy to protect. If your son is sensible and chooses to. He may take the advice differently if it comes from a solicitor rather than you anyway.

[OnlyFoolsnMothers]

He should just protect his deposit in the paperwork- it isnt particularly difficult

[howabout]

Ask him if they are committed enough to get married. If the answer is No then they are also not committed enough to be pooling financial assets.

The income disparity is such that there is not much difference in affordability between your DS being a single applicant and them applying jointly for a mortgage. This implies they are looking to mortgage up to the max which is not particularly wise in the current environment if they may later split and end up with a joint asset they have to sell. (If GF is in line for big pay rise then that puts a different complexion on the calculation)

[SpoonOfPeanutButter]

Agree with PPs and don’t think YABU to be concerned.

If the GF is reasonable, she’ll happily either agree to a Tenants in Commons mortgage or will sign something stating that the £100k will return to your son if they split and the house is sold.

I’m a similar age to your son and bought a house with my (now) DH about 3 years ago. His parents gave us the deposit and I offered to sign something stating that if it relationship were to end, I would have no claim over that money. They declined the offer (it wasn’t £100k though!), but I was 100% happy to do it.

It’s not banking on the end of the relationship, it’s just a sensible precaution.

[Helpmepleaseeeeeee]

Hi Op.
This may not be useful to you but when i bought a house with my DH (boyfriend at the time) he had a deposit of around £100k and i had £0 but we could then both jointly afford the mortgage and he just wanted a joint mortgage. I suggested that it was a bad idea and he said no i know you, you would never take the money if it weren't yours and i said that while i hoped he was right that if we had split you wouldn't know under what circumstances and it is actually easier to have sorted beforehand when you love each other rather than in the moment of a split where you may hate his guts! So we had an agreement added on to our mortgage ( I am sorry can't remember what it is called) but it basically said that if the house was sold then his £100k would be returned to him bfore any other paid in money or profit was spilt between us so still a 50-50 mortgage but his big lump sum would be protected. We have discarded it now we are married with a little boy but i think it made me feel more comfortable at the time

[SpoonOfPeanutButter]

I think your son needs to realise it isn't about being pessimistic thinking their relationship won't work, it's more about protecting the money that was left to him.

This. Totally agree.

[Disfordarkchocolate]

I think the conveyancing solicitor will raise it and make it come across as the normal and sensible thing to do, mine certainly did and I only put in 2K more than my partner.

[SosigDog]

He needs to see a solicitor and ringfence his deposit or buy in unequal shares.

[Gatehouse77]

DH and I are tenants-in-common not joint holders which was to protect my deposit money.

[LizB62A]

DH and I are tenants-in-common not joint holders which was to protect my deposit money

How does that protect your deposit money? Do you still need some sort of legal document to show what your share of the house is?

[PurpleCrazyHorse]

My DBro got stung in this exact way, although his deposit was significantly less than £100k. His GF walked away with half of the equity in their flat despite putting zero deposit in. She broke up with him, so it wasn't even my DBro saying he loves her and wouldn't leave her, she left him.

[flirtygirl]

TriciaH87you are extremely vulnerable. And most people don't think a break up will happen until and when it does. Especially as it's a couple of years to go until you are on the mortgage.

If you break up you get nothing. He can choose to help the children or not. A verbal agreement means nothing.

[Gatehouse77]

LizB62A

Tenants in common means each own it 50% unless you have additional paperwork to have unequal shares.
In our case, whilst I was putting down the deposit DH was paying the mortgage as I was at home with the children. For us, 50% was a good enough split.
It has also made our wills much easier to write up as we have protected our children for marriage after death and no one else can get their hands on what has been bequeathed to them.

[SilentSister]

DH and I bought our first flat at 21 before we were married and as co-owners. A couple of our friends also did the same as just "friends" investing in property, and we all, from memory, just had an agreement drawn up at the same time as the purchase, detailing who put what in, and what the split would be on selling. DH and I also did wills detailing the same.

His relationship is unlikely to go the distance with his GF being so young Sad way to look at things. All of our friends bought at this age, and all ended up married. Anecdotal I know, but it can have a happy ending too

[dreichuplands]

We had a tenant's in common agreement to cover this issue on our first house bought in our 20's, (for much less). By the time we got married and had kids DH dropped it for subsequent houses. They are very hassle free.

[Womaninred]

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/divorce_separation/3551348-Divorce-surprise?pg=2
Show him this. Mumsnet always lots examples of losing deposits when separation.