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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I'm a childminder but aibu to not do all I'm asked to do.

156 replies

Missymoo71 · 11/04/2019 19:23

I mind 3 children from 7.30am to 5pm, 4 days a week. All in Montessori and school so free from 9.30 to 1pm. I have been doing jobs in the house as asked. Exp: change the bedsheets, wash and dry. All washing for the house hold wash and dry. Then I have to iron everything....I do their weekly shop for them also. Clean out the fridge, clean out the food presses and giving the playroom "a scrub ' I also make dinners, drop and pick ups for Irish dancng have swimming clubs for the 3 and have to stay while class is on. Now, here's my AIBU. They have a cleaner, she gets paid a lot more than me and yet it seems I'm doing a hell of a lot more than the cleaner. She has actually told me she used to have visit them twice a week, until I started. I'm feeling a bit used. I know I should be helping as I am paid while they are in school. But just feel like she is taking the absolute piss expecting me do the cleaners job as well as caring for the children who are my priority. At the interview, she specifically stipulated that she had a cleaner so I wouldn't be asked to do much. Wwyd?

OP posts:
Deadringer · 11/04/2019 21:28

There is a legal definition of a childminder in Ireland, it's a self employed person who single handedly cares for children in her own home. Op I hope they are paying you very well, for your nanny/housekeeper/cook/shopping/cleaner role.

Deadringer · 11/04/2019 21:30

The op said she is child free from 9-1

Theclearing · 11/04/2019 21:35

I have had the confused ‘she’s a childminder who comes to our house’ conversation with friends in ireland... it’s definitely called that by some people there, no idea why. Reverse snobbism? Nanny and au pair considered very ‘posh’ by some friends.

LaurieMarlow · 11/04/2019 21:50

Nanny’s are pretty rare in Ireland.

The legalities of what a childminder is wouldn’t trouble people too much here, as most of the work would be cash in hand anyway.

Where I am (v middle class area of Dublin) a ‘minder’ comes to your home whereas a ‘childminder’ would look after in her own home, but the latter are much more prolific.

LaurieMarlow · 11/04/2019 21:54

Sorry meant former

SoHotADragonRetired · 11/04/2019 22:08

Is it legal for minders to be paid that way, laurie? Or is it not legal but widely done anyway?

LaurieMarlow · 11/04/2019 22:15

Is it legal for minders to be paid that way, laurie?

Well there certainly aren’t all the rules about covering NI/Pension/Mat leave here that there are with nannies in the UK.

I think it’s fine to pay by the hour. It’s not strictly ‘legal’ for the minder to not declare it and not pay tax, but it’s widely done.

Attitudes to tax paying are very different in Ireland though. Virtually no one in the building trade pays it as far as I can see.

extrastrongnosugar · 12/04/2019 03:37

Wow, what did you expect? That they'll pay you from 9 to 1pm to watch the telly?
There is only so much child related work around to do without the children.

If you dont like helping out where needed for that wage either ask to be paid as much as the cleaner (who would probably be expected to do much more in 4 hrs than do some laundry and run errands) and be willing to step up your cleaning game, or cut your hours

jusdepamplemousse · 12/04/2019 03:56

OP have you a contract? What does it say? If you have no contract in writing what did you verbally agree?

This is really all that matters. There’s no legal list of tasks specific to a nanny / minder / whatever you want to call yourself. What terms of employ did you actually agree? What you’re called is wholly irrelevant. What the cleaner is paid is wholly irrelevant, however galling to you. You presumably agreed your salary / hourly rate (dependent on whether you’re an employee or self employed). If you’ve agreed crappy terms you are in a position to renegotiate or you aren’t - only you know your alternative prospects. You seem to be somewhere in Ireland - do you know anyone locally in similar roles you can have a chat with to see what is standard where you are? What’s usual in D4 is going to be v different to what’s usual in Cavan, for example.

Ignore all the stuff about legally you’re not a childminder if you’re not in the UK, it’s not relevant.

StoppinBy · 12/04/2019 04:18

If you are unhappy with what you are being paid then that is up to you to negotiate.

I guess the cleaner said 'this is my price', they hired her for that, then you came along and said 'here is my price', they negotiated your responsibilities and then hired you.

The pay the cleaner receives has no bearing on what you get paid in that regard.

In school hours I think what you do is fair, on holidays when you have more care on the children I would expect there to be a lot less 'extras' that you should be responsible for, all being school age though then some extra jobs should be easily doable.

Original poster
Missymoo71 · 12/04/2019 06:27

Ok, so, the position advertised was "Childminder Required" hence the reason I am querying this. I'm registered years, but I don't see the relevance.

OP posts:
Original poster
Missymoo71 · 12/04/2019 06:43

I have always looked after the home in regards of the children,.get them up in the morning, school lunches, making their beds, make their dinners, washing their clothes, clean and hoover, change their bed clothes, do a bit of shopping, these things are of no issue to me, it's just the list seems to get longer and longer of jobs to do every week. I don't want not extra money as I don't want the extra work.

OP posts:
Witchtower · 12/04/2019 07:03

@MissyMoo71 are you based is Ireland, I’m not sure if that was an assumption by a PP?

Being a childminder is relevant as it will affect your pay. Your employers can claim government support if you are registered.

Witchtower · 12/04/2019 07:04

Also if you are a registered childminder you are required to care for the children and feed them. Apart from that you have no obligations.

maras2 · 12/04/2019 07:05

By calling the cupboards 'presses' I would imagine that OP is in IR. and not UK.

Original poster
Missymoo71 · 12/04/2019 07:09

Yes that was an assumption. But also correct. I am in Ireland.

OP posts:
AlaskanOilBaron · 12/04/2019 07:13

It's not unreasonable for them to expect you to clean while the children are at school. It really depends on what you agreed in your contract, obviously.

The role that they advertised for is really not the beginning and end of the conversation.

ChocChocButtons · 12/04/2019 07:17

A childminder is a self employed body who runs a small home daycare essentially. They are required to be ofsted registered and provide early years education from their home.

A lot of families hire a nanny/housekeeper when their children are at school to help with housework etc.

Do you have a contract? Going rate in my area for a nanny is 12-14 pounds an hour net.

A nanny is employed by a family to work in their home. You don’t need to be ofsted registered to be a Nanny. In my 15 years experience I’ve never been registered l.

I am a nanny and for example in my job I look after babies. I do all his laundry, and cook all his food. Nursery duties basically.

JellyBaby666 · 12/04/2019 07:20

Sounds like a lot! Make a list of the jobs in different categories - child related jobs, house related jobs, and cleaning and show your boss and explain which are extra and you feel outside of the expectations you had/have, especially as she is also paying a cleaner and tell her what the cleaner said! If you’re doing too much then stop doing the extras - surely some jobs aren’t daily though? Like changing the bedding and cleaning the fridge?

nannynick · 12/04/2019 07:23

Do you have a job description or anything in the contract that states your duties?

As a nanny I care for the children as no1 priority. no2 priority is caring for the home and pets. What duties I do depends on what the parents want and the time available.

There have to be reasonable expectations on both sides. If they are asking you to do things that you do not feel are reasonable duties then you need to discuss that with them.

faeveren · 12/04/2019 07:25

I would say no to doing adults laundry, including washing and ironing, the weekly food shop, dinners for grown ups and cleaning out the fridge and kitchen items. They are not in connection with the children.

I think they are taking the piss, asking for a childminder but expecting a nanny, housekeeper and cleaner.

Have you totalled how many hours do you work and what rate of pay? Does the Irish dancing and swimming still mean you finish for 5, when do you get your lunch break?

Witchtower · 12/04/2019 07:25

I live in inner London and childminders are £8-10 an hour and then any additional sibling tends to be £2 cheaper for the hour.
I haven’t looked into nannies so I’m not sure how much they cost.

It’s probably fair to do the amount of housework you’re doing, which is not an issue for you but your annoyance is the fact that they keep piling it on which is a piss take. I think it really depends on the about you are doing. If you can comfortably (time) fit in some housework then I think that’s reasonable.

Horsemenoftheaclopalypse · 12/04/2019 07:25

Yanbu

Get a new employer and better boundaries!

purplepears · 12/04/2019 07:28

Sounds like the parents are getting carried away in their expectations of you.
Have a chat or send a message, be friendly, explain what you expect to do and that the extra jobs are too much for you and more than you agreed on.
Their response will answer your questions and then you can make a decision on your future.
Good luck.

Witchtower · 12/04/2019 07:30

OP it really depends on your pay. Do you get paid per child. If you were a childminder here in London you’d be getting paid £26 an hour for caring for 3DC, which is a huge amount.

Do you get paid per hour or per hour per child?