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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Parents making their dcs Easter bonnets..

68 replies

MummyCool19 · 11/04/2019 15:59

Aibu to think children who parents have clearly made their dc bonnets shouldn’t win first prizes at school/nursery.

Dd is 2 and goes to a play school. They had an Easter bonnet comp, Dd absolutely loved making here, sticking it all on. It looked a mess but clearly she made it. Another child made a full on bunny popping out of a basket on top of the hat, another made a huge one. Both won.

Aibu to be annoyed 😂

OP posts:

NoWittyNamesAvailable · 11/04/2019 17:24

My 3 year old got 1st place for his today. I didn't do it (all), he had lots of fun makinga bunny covering his whole hat in cotton wool and sticking brightly coloured chicks all over it. It was clear he had some help in cutting out the rabbit ears etc but you can tell the majority was done by him. I'm glad they picked him because some of the others were made completely by the parents.

Poppyputthekettleon · 11/04/2019 17:45

I work in a nursery and I really wish there wasn't a competition element, just give everybody a small egg and call it an Easter parade, but also I think parents can helps. One of our mum's told us how she had spoken to her son and told him it was not the winning but the taking part, and that the real fun was to be had in the time they made it together not from the potential of winning.

ICanTuckMyBoobsInMyPockets · 11/04/2019 17:46

Our school only picks winners that have obviously been completely done by the kids, which is perfect.

And there's no pressure for kids to do it either, so parents aren't put under any pressure.

Orangedaisy · 11/04/2019 17:49

Dd (reception) won hers (egg decoration). Dp and I sat on our hands and decided our only input should be to blow the eggs for her and make sure everything was well stuck down. School seem to have a policy that only the homemade costumes/things kids make themselves win.

x2boys · 11/04/2019 17:54

Tbh even if I did make the bonnet I'm not sure i could do a better job than your average 3 yr old ,such is my artistic flair or lack of it.

NewName54321 · 11/04/2019 17:55

Unfortunately, in the name of seeming to be fair, often the judges for this sort of thing are visitors, rather than school staff, who simply pick the "best" creation rather than the best one that a child has clearly made.
Perhaps the way forward is to allow family entries, and bypass the child bit unless it is something actually made in school.

nocutsnobuttsnococonuts · 11/04/2019 18:12

At DD's school there is a prize per class but the further up the school the less entries there is! I think they soon learn that it's always the same children who win.

Dd2 had a bonnet parade - we stapled some foam bunnies together to create a crown and she decorated each one. She spent ages on each of their faces and wore it for the week leading up to the day!! Still wearing it now but didn't win as there were far more elaborate ones!

Dd1 had to make an egg - she chose Harry potter so we sat for an hour colouring and cutting out bits for her eggs. Was a bit dicy when I stuck my thumb through Dumbledore but we fixed it with cellotape! She won in her class... there was only 2 entries though 😂

It's not only the time some spend it's the cost, I would much rather spend the cost of materials and the hours it would take me in the evening to create a winning bonnet doing something fun!

toomuchtooold · 11/04/2019 18:41

I'll admit with having helped my DDs with school craft projects but it's because I want them to get prizes it's because the school gives us sod all warning on this stuff and usually a bunch of homework on top, so if I want the kids in bed at a decent hour I need to start doing bits for them. I even do the gluing and cutting slightly roughly so it's more plausible that it was the kids. It's not like they don't do craft stuff in the house themselves, but who enjoys having to make a collage about numbers in real life or whatever on some random Thursday night?

Kaddm · 11/04/2019 18:47

I helped my ds with craft projects when he was little because he had absolutely no interest in them and gained no enjoyment whatsoever from them. Once we did win a prize. I didn’t want a prize, he didn’t care about winning a prize, all we wanted was the craft project to be done so he didn’t get in trouble. My other dc loves craft and does the projects herself and yes she recently lost a competition to a project done by a parent. Thing is, I know the parent and know she did her ds project because he has no interest. I still don’t care, why would you. Either your child enjoys it or they don’t. Enjoy it? Do it. Hate it? Parent do it.

JeezYouLoon · 11/04/2019 18:48

My DCs always made their own as I have no creative bone in my body It was quite sad and pathetic how grown adults were happy to cheat and 'pretend' their DCs had done it all themselves.

My DCs learnt early that you play to win but you don't cheat, it says more about them than you.

outpinked · 11/04/2019 18:49

YANBU. I was seething last year when I witnessed this happen. The children who had made their own didn’t get a look in and it was outrageous .

Grobagsforever · 11/04/2019 18:49

I bought DD's in primark. Easter bonnet making can fuck off to the far side of fuck. I work full time and don't have capacity to pander towards dogma inspired rituals just for the privilege of giving a pound to the PTA.

Original poster

MummyCool19 · 11/04/2019 18:54

The nursery put pictures of everyone’s Easter bonnet on their private Facebook, and then they had to message the page and say who they were voting for. The girl who wons mum is popular 🙃 so even if her hat was crap and not made by her mum she would have won anyway 😩😂

OP posts:

meepmoop · 11/04/2019 18:55

When I went to primary school there's a girl whose mum worked there. She won absolutely everything.
Everyone else gave up by the time we got to year 6

x2boys · 11/04/2019 19:02

Same at my ds1, school meep the deputy heads daughter and teaching assistant,s son was in his class they won everything and had a lead role in everything from reception, mind you when I was at primary school the music teachers daughter was in my class , she got picked for everything too

Nofunkingworriesmate · 11/04/2019 19:03

Suggest that it’s not competitive next time everyone gets an egg as it’s unfair and the very idea that a popularity should play any part is wrong
When my kids have these things I always do the research and settle in a design that the kids can make mostly themselves
I’m unusual I. That I really like these projects and doing them together but the main thrust is always from the kids

Wearywithteens · 11/04/2019 19:06

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

icelollycraving · 11/04/2019 19:11

I did ds’ when he was in reception. It was a parade rather than competition though.
When I was in primary I cane second in the cake competition. I didn’t get first as mum liked to make cakes so they thought she’d done it. She hadn’t. Still bitter.

Jimmers · 11/04/2019 19:11

Oh god yes! My son used to make all his own, and after a few years of the same ‘favourite’ kids winning said he couldn’t be bothered because the only kids who win didn’t make their own.
I can be stubborn & competitive at times, so I promised him a hat that would win. Made him promise not to tell teacher I made it. He was so pleased to win an Easter egg. And I don’t feel guilty at all too much

Thunderpunt · 11/04/2019 19:13

I don't know how to link previous threads, but in MN Classics is a fab thread about a sinister Easter Bonnet....

Parents making their dcs Easter bonnets..

jelliebelly · 11/04/2019 19:17

YANBU but you'd better get used to it- School is no better!

toomuchtooold · 11/04/2019 19:33

I work full time and don't have capacity to pander towards dogma inspired rituals just for the privilege of giving a pound to the PTA

I'm a SAHM to school aged kids and even I don't have capacity for it. I didn't give up my career to spend my days slaving over a hot glue gun

ohmydaysagain · 11/04/2019 19:38

I love the fact my school gives the prizes to the ones that have obviously been done by the kids. The perfect parent made ones never win and they take great delight in parsimony the work of the children who made them themselves!

LadyRannaldini · 11/04/2019 19:43

Easter bonnets are the thin end of the wedge! I'm sure that one of the reasons for getting rid of Maths Coursework at GCSE was because too many parents were doing the work and insisting that it was assessed as their child's own work. I once had an almighty argument with Senior Management about a girl's coursework, I had asked her questions about and her father had complained. It clearly wasn't her level of work but the Senior Management insisted that I gave her a good mark.

Cloudyyy · 11/04/2019 19:44

Ha ha I am that parent! I always make my girls beautiful flowery Easter bonnets and they love them!!! I’ve already spent ages sewing silk flowers onto their bonnets this year... they will have them Easter morning and wear them all day with pride I hope! They aren’t for a competition though. The only competition they’ve had to enter involved Easter scenes that the kids made in nursery together....I wouldn’t be entering my bonnets into a kid’s competition 😂😂😂

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