To be so hurt by my doctor's comment

[Lisalacuistot]

Long time reader but first time poster. I have epilepsy. Been struggling with it for years. I am now 25 , and is on new medications that have been more effective than all the ones I have tried before. But the side effects are awful ( I am depressed all the time , so tired , gained weight , can barely walk the first few hours after taking it).

I have explained that to my doctor. He then told me that all anticonvulsants have this type of side effects. Because they are meant to slow down your brain activity. I am OK with the drowsiness and tiredness ( Experienced it with all the anti epilepsy drugs I have taken in the past). But not the feeling of sadness and crying all the time.

So , he asked me where I am originally from. Which I told him. He proceeded to say " Well people in your home country don't even have food , so you should be happy and grateful that you even have access to medication. You are being difficult , better be depressed than dead because of epilepsy in Ethiopia."

He did really hurt me. Am I being too sensitive or is it unprofessional to say that ?

OP I think it was the doctors very clumsy way of trying to cheer you up - by trying to make you feel grateful, therefore happy. He obliviously doesn't understand depression.

Years ago I knew a man who was depressed and he told us if someone gave him 5 million $ it wouldn't cure his depression. I've never forgotten that.

Wow, submit a complaint that is unacceptable. Was he quite old?

@adulthumanwolf Are you also the poster with the shit DP who said he'd rather you were thin and epileptic, rather than gaining weight?
I wasn't the poster either but I was dumped when a previous med made me gain weight as "you know I don't fancy anyone over a size 10". Didn't know this was a common thing!

@Lisalacuistot yes it took me ages to feel emotionally stable on these meds. I didn't get on with clobazam but what works helps one person is hell for another. Another thing is a lot of people with epilepsy end up with vitamin deficiencies especially vit D so it may be worth getting a high dose of that and taking a good multi vit as certain deficiencies are linked to depression. The epilepsy society usually has a list of local support groups. Hopefully there is something in your area.

Gah just typed a long post and lost it

Actually I don't think (and forgive me if I'm wrong Lisa) but it's "clinical" depression as a mental health condition, rather depression/low mood as a direct result/side effect of the meds? Apologies for any clumsy wording/terminology.

It's such a hard balance to strike between the risk of seizures and risk of side effects. If the low mood can be alleviated by a change/tinker of meds, it would be better to see the neurologist rather than the GP I think?

Of course living with epilepsy alone can cause low mood as it has such serious effects on life (which I was very ignorant of before developing it!) for example I'm finding this post hard to write as the words come so slowly - this could be a result of the meds, damage from previous seizures or just interictal activity. Being told I was "lucky" might well tip me over the edge especially from a medical "professional".

There is an email helpline here which may be useful? and I'll copy some forum links in a separate post in case I lose it!

[email protected]

forum.epilepsy.org.uk/

www.epilepsyresearch.org.uk/about-epilepsy/join-our-community-forum/

forum.epilepsy.org.uk

You are SO not too sensitive, he is one shit doctor.
Any chance you could see another GP? For ever?

Demonstrating my slow mind point perfectly. This paragraph missed a crucial NOT and should be

Actually I don't think (and forgive me if I'm wrong Lisa) but it's NOT "clinical" depression as a mental health condition, rather depression/low mood as a direct result/side effect of the meds? Apologies for any clumsy wording/terminology.

@WeBuiltCisCityOnSexistRoles : You are right , it's not clinical depression , the way I feel is not coming about my medical condition itself . I have had my bad days with epilepsy, but learnt how to cope with it. As I had it for so long. I get down about it sometimes but it's nothing like I feel currently. I know it's the side effects of the medication, because I can't stop crying for no reason, having intrusive suicidal thoughts only since I started it. The drug's leaflet side effects does include : " Low mood , suicidal thoughts , depression".

@Elephantbiscuit Thank you very much for those information. I did not know it.

@WeBuiltCisCityOnSexistRoles Thank you so much for the links

@BlackPrism He's in his late 50's early 60's I'd say. So yes, he's old.

Report him! What a tossed.

Tosser not tossed

Yanbu - racist needs reporting

So, they added 2 new drugs at once - the clobazam and Vimpat? Only one change should be made at a time, so you can all pin point the side effects from the change? If they make 2 changes, how does anybody know which if either drug is reducing seizures or producing what side effects?

Clobazam is likely to make you feel tired, and therefore gain weight I guess due to less activity? However in the short term, it usually controls seizures well?

Op this is totally unacceptable. What a disgrace your ethnicity, colour of your skin or sex should not decide what treatment you get via the nhs but all to often it clearly does.

That sounds so tough here's some virtual tlc from me. Good luck calling your neurologists office and you should look for local support groups also. You are so young you should be getting a chance at a better quality of life, you deserve so much better care.

You absolutely should complain.

I wasn't the poster either but I was dumped when a previous med made me gain weight as "you know I don't fancy anyone over a size 10". Didn't know this was a common thing!

What a prick!

Please do put in a written complaint to the practice! This probably won’t be the first incident and it can be difficult for the practice to take action if things aren’t formally reported. So sorry about how he treated you! (GP trainee)

Report him promptly and see a competent doctor.That is one who knows how to work with the patient to find a drug that works for them,and doesn't hide their inability behind racist, patronising, disgraceful comments.

So unprofessional! I once had a mental health nurse (when I'd had to go in for an emergency assessment) say casually to me 'oh, but do you don't look depressed, do you?'

I called her out on it and asked if I should have come unwashed, in my duvet to be more convincing!

That is actually extremely shocking. Bloody hell.

Wow, racist AND woefully ignorant about mental health. Sorry you were treated this way, OP, you deserve better.

Adding my voice to the chorus encouraging you to report him.

There is no excuse for this doctor's behaviour. Being old or wanting to xueee you up, or whatever else is no justification for racism and ignorance. Does poverty only exist in Ethiopia and not the UK? Is everyone in Ethiopia living in poverty? Shoukd Ethiopians in the UK be treated differently and be grateful for being considered and treated as second class people?

This doctor's comment is wrong on so many levels. It is overt racism steeped in a humongous dose of unconscious and conscious bias. Disgraceful. Report him.

People like this must not be allowed to continue abusing people without any consequences. Ethnic minorities face abuse and unconscious bias on a daily basis, multiple times a day, which is damaging mentally. To then go to a doctor for help only to receive even more racial abuse is devastating.