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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Stood up by baby group mum

28 replies

Raggerty54 · 11/04/2019 12:02

I don’t know her well. We’ve only spoken twice. We were chatting yesterday in baby group about this free baby event taking place today. Some of the other ladies I’m friendly with were going. After the other ladies left, I was getting ready to leave while explaining that I won’t be going to said event as I can’t drive- I didnt fancy going too much anyway (it’s difficult to get there via public transport). She kindly offered to take me as she was going anyway and we live near each other. We swapped numbers and she said she’d call me at 10:30am today.

The event starts at 10:30. 10:30 came and went. At 11 I texted her asking if she was still going. She didn’t text me back until 11:45 and her reply was “hiya, no I’m not going now. My friend invited me around hers instead”. Confused No apology for not letting me know etc.

AIBU to be a little hurt and confused? It seems very rude to me. I’m annoyed too because the baby was supposed to go to my mum’s today so I could give the house a good clean. I thought trying to make a friend was more important. Why do you think she would do this?

OP posts:
GregoryPeckingDuck · 11/04/2019 12:03

She’s just a bit rude

GregoryPeckingDuck · 11/04/2019 12:04

Or she forgot

Redorangeyellowgreen · 11/04/2019 12:06

She's rude. Forget her and move on.

Unfortunately some people are just like that Sad

formerbabe · 11/04/2019 12:07

Even if she forgot...her response was very rude.

SilverGoldBronze · 11/04/2019 12:09

She doesn’t sound very nice really. Even if she forgot, it would have been good form to apologise when you texted her. Don’t give it any more thought.

Clawdy · 11/04/2019 12:09

She's one of those unthinking people who don't realise how rude they are. Most of us would have been very uneasy about letting someone down like that. Think I'd steer clear from now on.

Cranky17 · 11/04/2019 12:09

She’s rude, wasn’t worth having as a friend. Move on to other nicer people

dustarr73 · 11/04/2019 12:10

Well at least you found out now.Before you invested any more time in to her.Forget it and move on.

BlueMerchant · 11/04/2019 12:12

Rude. She's had a better offer- sitting round her matesGrin
Would have been more polite to pretend she forgot!

Original poster
Raggerty54 · 11/04/2019 12:18

Thanks for the replies! As I had mentioned, I wasn’t too keen on going anyway as I wanted to crack on with the house. I thought that maybe something had come up that meant she couldn’t make it/ reply and didn’t think much of it until she actually did reply! Like some of you have said, thank god ive seen her true colours now because I don’t particularly like time wasters...

OP posts:
justbinthefeckinbyebyebox · 11/04/2019 12:18

She's a right cow, but now you know that!

FlowersCake

MrsBosh · 11/04/2019 12:19

Aww, that's rubbish of her. Sorry that's happened to you. She's obviously not very switched on or sensitive, and I bet that's important to you in a friendship, so I'd forget her.

I wouldn't reply but be civil if you see her again. Invest your time in other people.

Don't worry about the cleaning for today. Can you book your mum in to babysit next week so you can clean?

ALannisterInDebt · 11/04/2019 12:22

That's so rude, I'd be quite annoyed if I were you. Don't give her a second chance, you don't need thoughtless people like that in your life.

RomanyQueen1 · 11/04/2019 12:29

Some people are like that, she's obviously not going to be a good friend if she does things like this.

AdelaideK · 11/04/2019 12:32

She's very rude.

Drum2018 · 11/04/2019 12:51

She should have contacted you when she decided not to go. By her response it seems she didn't forget, but chose to go to her friends instead. Forget about her. At least you know now not to get too friendly as she seems the type who will let you down.

LoveB · 11/04/2019 12:56

Very rude, she's abnormal. Forget her.

Eliza9919 · 11/04/2019 13:00

Avoid her from now on. I bet she's the sort that doesn't reply to party invitations and just turns up, with other siblings too, if she doesn't get a better offer. Not the sort of person I'd want to be friends with.

LillithsFamiliar · 11/04/2019 13:17

Perhaps there was a misunderstanding. If the event started at 10.30am and she wasn't calling you till then, she might have thought she was calling at 10.30am to confirm and that you didn't have an arrangement.

TheGrey1houndSpeaks · 11/04/2019 13:23

She’s a cow.

NoraEphronsneck · 11/04/2019 13:24

I've got an acquaintance like this.. Often asks for or offers lifts and then on the day when I arrive at her house, says she's not going now, but not a bit embarrassed to let you down at the last minute.

I feel it's almost like a little bit of control over you. They've offered, so then you're relying on them, and then they can decide whether or not to go.

Very frustrating.

AnyFarrahFowler · 11/04/2019 13:24

I’ve made some lovely friends through baby groups, but it was hard in the beginning, and I once got stood up at a baby class I’d arranged to meet a mum at - we’d met through one of those apps where you can meet other mums in your area. She did at least apologise when I contacted her afterwards - “Oh sorry, I knew there was something I’d forgotten!” Hmm but I never contacted her again. Like others have said, be glad you’ve seen her true colours now before you waste any more time on her.

Tawdrylocalbrouhaha · 11/04/2019 13:26

She's flakey (and rude). Be friendly when you see her at group, but don't make plans with her again.

I ran into this a lot on ML - we'd make plans, and I would time DS's day around them, only to receive a text as I was on my way somewhere saying "oh, Astrid has just gone down for a nap, can we meet 2 hours later instead?" Or "Just on my way home from X, still need to give Magnus lunch, can we say 3pm?" And if I waited that long my DS would be hungry/cranky/asleep. I just gave up meeting those people anywhere but group, as they saw plans as totally flexible.

Holidayshopping · 11/04/2019 13:29

Very rude! Why did she arrange to ring you at the time that the event started-would you need to do that a bit in advance?

Provincialbelle · 11/04/2019 13:30

Rude idiot, ditch her