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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To have refused to move my dogs?

91 replies

HipHipHippoo · 10/04/2019 22:44

Today I was in the woods with my 2 dogs and 3 DC. I was sitting on a bench with 2 yo old DD while she had a snack and her sisters climbed a tree. A woman approached and sat at the other end of the bench. One of my dogs looked in her direction and she told me to take them away. I said "excuse me?" She said "I don't like dogs, take them away." I told her that if she didn't like dogs then perhaps she should sit elsewhere (my dogs were laying down and hadn't moved since she sat down.) She launched into a tirade about how dog owners think they own the woods, that she should be able to go for a walk without being made to feel uncomfortable and so on. I largely ignored her.

When DD finished her snack and we were ready to move on, I waited until we were 50m or so from the woman before letting my dogs off their leads. She stood up and bellowed at me to put them on leads, that there are children around and it's so dangerous...! The only children there were mine, and the dogs were perfectly under control anyway. AIBU to have ignored her or am I indeed being an ignorant dog owner??

OP posts:

Queenfreak · 11/04/2019 11:11

I'm quite nervous around unknown dogs, and ones off a leash hold a special kind of fear.
So I wouldn't sit next to someone who was already sat down with her dogs- because I don't own the world. Likewise as you had waited until you were a distance away o wouldn't care the dogs were off leash.
I've genuinely never met any of these inconsiderate dog owners, if a bouncy dog has approached I've asked owners to intervene and they have.
I guess I'm lucky.

recrudescence · 11/04/2019 11:14

After you left she took herself to her local pub, sat in the garden next to the only smoker and waved her hands frantically in-between paroxysms of coughing.

Cherrysoup · 11/04/2019 11:22

I believe dogs should be on a lead, and the fact you let them off knowing that someone was afraid of them was extremely selfish and mean.

What country are you in, cos in the U.K., there are few dogs on lead laws bar near livestock. The woman chose to sat near someone with dogs. If I walked off, my dogs would be heeling me, looking at nothing bar me and if let off, would not run towards some random stranger.

LynnTheseAreSexPeople · 11/04/2019 11:22

She sounds mental. My dd's friend has a phobia of dogs I've found most dog owners are really kind when I've been out with her. They hold their dogs back and take the time to talk to her and let her approach the dog if she's brave enough. I know there are some twat dog owners but you don't sound like one of them. I would never have deliberately approached a dog and told the owner to move them!

Sitdownstandup · 11/04/2019 11:26

She was being an arse initially and you were NBU then. You then shouldn't have let the dogs offload.

Sitdownstandup · 11/04/2019 11:26

Offlead!

Silverhype · 11/04/2019 11:30

You then shouldn't have let the dogs offload.

Why not?

S1naidSucks · 11/04/2019 11:51

You then shouldn't have let the dogs offload. I’m having images of the OP’s dog sitting in a huddle, complaining about the horrible woman in the park. Not what you meant, but...😁

Sitdownstandup · 11/04/2019 11:54

Lmao

PinaColadaPlease · 11/04/2019 11:58

Being scared of dogs is her problem not yours. Is nobody supposed to allow their dogs off leads in case they come across somebody that doesn't like them?

You can't go for a walk in the woods and not expect to see dogs! As long as the owner has them under control then they have every right to be there.

YWNBU

bengalcat · 11/04/2019 11:59

Absolutely fine to not like dogs but what kind of nutter sits next to one if they’re afraid / dislike them etc .
And re nesting birds etc many areas have noticed up for dog walkers to keep their dog in a lead / on the path in such areas . Not that Mr Fox 🦊 reads them of course ( and why should he )

LillithsFamiliar · 11/04/2019 12:00

Was there another bench? If so then she should have sat there. If there was only one bench then I think you should have moved your dogs tbh. I also think you should have kept them on the lead. It seemed a petty response on your part.

krustykittens · 11/04/2019 12:08

Some one who is afraid of dogs doesn't intentionally go and sit near them and then start a row with their owner. She wasn't scared, she was looking for a fight. Letting dogs with good recall off the lead 50 yards away from her while continuing to walk away from her and increase the distance, isn't inconsiderate.

CatG85 · 11/04/2019 12:10

YANBU at all. I'm afraid of deep water so I don't go in it... simple. If she had a problem with dogs she should have sat somewhere else, I'm sure there are plenty of other places to sit.
You were then far enough away to take your dogs off the lead and unless they were running towards her she had no reason to go in to a rant.
Comments about wildlife are a little OTT as what about people walking? Other wildlife? That's probably more risky than dogs off their leads enjoying themselves innocently. If there are no rules in an area about dogs being on leads and they're causing no problems and are well behaved, dogs should be allowed that bit of freedom.

And on the side note of dogs in restaurants etc, what's the issue? Unless they're in the kitchen shedding their hair in your food, are jumping up at you or are peeing and pooping all over the restaurant, what's the big deal? If a dogs under the table occupied by their owner, laying quietly and minding it's own business people should do the same.

And for added shock factor for those who go on about the argument between dog owners and those who don't own dogs - I own a cat! ;-)

Brilliantidiot · 11/04/2019 12:17

So OPs dogs didn't approach the woman when she sat down, didn't move, except for a totally natural reaction of looking when something moves, so the dog moved it's eyes, head at the most. Then when let off lead 50m away also didn't approach the woman, so at no point did the dogs invade the woman's space.
Think she just wanted a row.

LetsDialDownTheIanPaisley · 11/04/2019 12:21

Dog owners DO think they own any wooded areas!

BlueSlipperSocks · 11/04/2019 12:57

Dog owners DO think they own any wooded areas

What does that even mean? Has a dog owner ordered you out of the woods stating, "I own this woods!" Or what?

Wolfiefan · 11/04/2019 13:01

I think Lets means that people think they can let their dogs run anywhere and do anything in wooded areas.
The ones we walk in have runners and walkers and horse riders and cyclist about. I keep my dog where I can see her and make her stand still and out of the way if we encounter others on our walk.
Not all dog owners are irresponsible and not all dogs are badly behaved.

sonjadog · 11/04/2019 13:06

I have occasionally come across people like this when out with my dog. There is some strange people out there. Not worth giving them headspace.

CalmDownPacino · 11/04/2019 13:12

And totally agree flesh. In winter the countryside and beaches are full of dogs and dog walkers, usually kept clean and tidy, keeping cafes and the like open with the doggy pound. A bit of sun the dog haters appear demanding the pooches are locked away out of sight for the next 4 months. Screaming hysterically if a dog comes within 100 feet of them. Beaches covered with litter. Come the end of September they clear off, beaches and the countryside covered in dogs not litter again

^^ Well said.

stayfit · 11/04/2019 13:22

You can't understand the fear dogs can cause for some people. I have had dogs come so close to me and I find that disturbing and unhygienic. I won't ever go to woods alone.
But if you do see someone who is afraid of dogs why couldn't you keep them on lead just to be considerate.
It also doesn't hurt to keep them away if someone has to sit in a bench. They were probably tired as you and your kids were and sharing a bench is being nice.

bigbluebus · 11/04/2019 13:22

If you don't like dogs then don't go where you know dogs are walked
The thing is, dogs seem to be absolutely everywhere these days - not just in parks, woods, beaches. DH and I went to a shopping village the other weekend - I have never seen so many dogs out shopping. Yhey were everywhere. Yes they were on leads but not always short leads. DH was standing in a queue in a clothes shop waiting to pay for a couple of tshirts when he felt someone 'feeling' his leg. He turned around to discover that the woman behind him in the queue had a dog with her and it was the dog sniffing his trousers.

We both like dogs (don't own one because we don't want to be tied down by one - but happily walk friends' dogs when needed) but it is now nearly impossible to go somewhere and guarantee you won't bump into one - pubs, cafes, shops all seem to be fair game now. I really feel sorry for anyone who is afraid of or allergic to dogs.

Why do people have to take their dogs everywhere with them now? - it never used to be the case.

bigbluebus · 11/04/2019 13:24

And I forgot to say that I agree that in the OP's case the woman who sat on the bench where she and her dogs were already seated is at fault here. She should have walked on and found somewhere else to sit.

Biancadelrioisback · 11/04/2019 13:27

Lilliths why should the OP have moved if that was the only bench? Benches are for people right? Are she and her children no longer people because they have a dog with them? Do they have less entitlement to the bench than the other woman?
They were there first. It is a first come first serve bench. OP and her child were sat down before the woman approached. If she needed to sit down for medical reasons, she could have asked OP nicely.

BlueSlipperSocks · 11/04/2019 13:41

Wolfiefan

I think that's typical of most dog owners tbf. Not many would allow their dogs to run free if there are horses, motorcycles and children about. I can't see anything wrong with letting a dog have a run around with a ball, swim in the river or just to sniff in the undergrowth, when there is clearly nothing/nobody around. Mine has excellent recall and ignores everybody and other dogs so not a problem at all. She has also been trained to sit and wait for people/horses/cyclists/joggers to pass. I certainly don't think I own the woods lol! I don't see many unruly dogs about tbf and I'm out in dog walking areas 3 times a day, every day. The minority who are unruly are a bloody nuisance for dog owners and non dog owners alike.

I usually head to the top of the mountain during school holiday time. Nobody without a dog will walk that far. I've just come back from a walk in the woods. It was very pleasant. Plenty of dogs and their owners interacting appropriately. The next two weeks will be very different and we can look forward to rubbish being discarded everywhere, because families simply must have a picnic in the woods, and leave their rubbish there, all the while complaining that someone has the audacity to walk their dog in a public place, whether it's on lead or not.

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