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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have refused to move my dogs?

91 replies

HipHipHippoo · 10/04/2019 22:44

Today I was in the woods with my 2 dogs and 3 DC. I was sitting on a bench with 2 yo old DD while she had a snack and her sisters climbed a tree. A woman approached and sat at the other end of the bench. One of my dogs looked in her direction and she told me to take them away. I said "excuse me?" She said "I don't like dogs, take them away." I told her that if she didn't like dogs then perhaps she should sit elsewhere (my dogs were laying down and hadn't moved since she sat down.) She launched into a tirade about how dog owners think they own the woods, that she should be able to go for a walk without being made to feel uncomfortable and so on. I largely ignored her.

When DD finished her snack and we were ready to move on, I waited until we were 50m or so from the woman before letting my dogs off their leads. She stood up and bellowed at me to put them on leads, that there are children around and it's so dangerous...! The only children there were mine, and the dogs were perfectly under control anyway. AIBU to have ignored her or am I indeed being an ignorant dog owner??

OP posts:
PlatypusLeague · 11/04/2019 10:11

No doubt you’ll get the dog haters on here that will start talking about being jumped on, dog shit, blah blah bla.

That isn't being a "dog hater", it's wishing some dog owners would be more considerate.

Silverhype · 11/04/2019 10:14

How could OP have been “more considerate” given that the woman approached them in the first place?

Armadillostoes · 11/04/2019 10:18

Some of the dog haters on here already are crazy. They have no more right to the woods than anyone else. You cannot expect.people to keep dogs on leads at all times anywhere you might happen to be. The world does not revolve around you.

LimpidPools · 11/04/2019 10:24

What is this nonsense I come across on MN about dogs being on leads 100% of the time?

My dog travels at least twice as far when she's off lead as when she's on, because she's zigzagging about investigating things. It's the only way I can tire her out. She's obedient, we're in a park where she's allowed off lead, and she doesn't have any particular interest in passing strangers.

Besides, how would you like to live your entire life only ever going outside on the end of a metre long rope?

I'm not even sure what I'm doing defending this tbh. Humans have lived with domesticated dogs for an absolute minimum of 16,000 years. You don't now get to police that relationship just because you don't personally like them.

DarlingNikita · 11/04/2019 10:30

She was just looking for trouble. YANBU.

Some people on here Confused Hmm I get that some people don't like dogs, but what the actual does a story about a boisterous dog jumping up at people, or claiming that the OP let her dogs off the lead close to the woman, have to do with the scenario?

HBStowe · 11/04/2019 10:34

She sounds like a lunatic who was spoiling for a fight to be honest!

Kaykay06 · 11/04/2019 10:35

The woman sounds odd, I don’t particularly like other people’s dogs so wouldn’t have sat beside you and if I had I certainly wouldn’t have moaned about your dogs, you’d keep walking and found a dog/kid free bench, she sounds nuts.

You can’t walk a dog on lead everywhere they need to free run to exercise - but as a dog owner they need to have a good recall and not approach people etc. My dog sticks quite close to me and couldn’t care less about other dogs or people but kids love him and run up to him and cuddle him drives me mad 😡 luckily he is a big soft lump and I have 4 kids he’s guide dog trained so very obedient. He does need a run about and I do call him back when I see people ahead when out with him.

Steamedbadger · 11/04/2019 10:35

I'm not a massive dog fan, but this woman sounds totally U.

RSAcre · 11/04/2019 10:36

She launched into a tirade about how dog owners think they own the woods, that she should be able to go for a walk without being made to feel uncomfortable and so on. I largely ignored her.

I don't like dog-haters. They make me uncomfortable. I should be able to go for a walk without being made uncomfortable ;)
Can these dog-haters be put on a leash until they have been properly trained to stay under control?

calpop · 11/04/2019 10:37

same here. Im not a dog fan and don't like other people's dogs being foisted on me but I really don't see that you did anything wrong here. I would have sat somewhere else.

MissDollyMix · 11/04/2019 10:37

YANBU. The woman sounds crackers, as others said, sounds like she was just spoiling for a fight.

gamerwidow · 11/04/2019 10:38

I’m not a big fan of dogs but she was being ridiculous. If her level of fear of dogs is that great then it is pretty stupid of her to go to a place where she will definitely find dogs.

AWishForWingsThatWork · 11/04/2019 10:42

She was ridiculous and actively looking for a fight about your dogs. I would have politely told her to do one.

merrymouse · 11/04/2019 10:42

I think you met somebody who was a little strange/troubled, and her problems are bigger than your dogs.

I don't like smoking, but I wouldn't go and sit on a bench in a park with a smoker and tell them to put their cigarette out.

BlueSlipperSocks · 11/04/2019 10:47

Sounds like a MNetter.

Your dogs were on lead. Your children were enjoying the woods, crazy lady sat on the bench with your dogs then proceeded to rant about dogs being in the woods and how scared she is.

OP you should know by now that all dogs must spend their lives lying quietly in their baskets, never seeing the light of day.

As long as your dogs didn't run over to her, put their muddy paws on her best white jeans, knock her over and pin her to the ground (Which seems to happen a lot in the Fairy tale world of MN, but strangely not very often in real life), I would have stood there and laughed at her.

Hope your childen and dogs enjoyed playing in the woods.

YouTheCat · 11/04/2019 10:47

I'm not a big fan of dogs so I wouldn't choose to go somewhere without dp to protect me where there was a likelihood of dogs being walked, like the park. If a dog is off the lead on the street I have been known to cross over. It is totally my fear to manage and no one else's problem.

This woman sounds a bit crackers.

fleshmarketclose · 11/04/2019 10:49

Some people are just barmy when it comes to dogs. If your dog is under control when off the lead then there is no reason not to let them off. It is a downside to dryer warmer weather I find. In the wind rain and snow you tend only to meet other people walking dogs first sign of spring and there are more people out and more chance of meeting someone who objects to a dog, however well behaved, being in the same area.

Lifeover · 11/04/2019 10:55

Op no you’re not unreasonable at all. Some people are bat shit crazy when it comes to dogs and think they should all be kept in your back garden and destroyed if they so much as whimper through a 6 foot high fence. Your dogs didn’t approach the woman )she actually approached the dogs£

Once again if you have a phobia about something it’s down to you to deal with it. You can’t go round dictating to the world how they should live their life to fit in with you providing they are acting legally and without endangering others.

Cyberworrier · 11/04/2019 10:57

Merry mouse’s analogy is spot on- why sit next to you if she is scared of dogs? You did nothing wrong!

AndItStillSaidFourOfTwo · 11/04/2019 10:57

Re your first paragraph, YANBU - and I'm, putting it mildly, not a dog lover. If I had been her I would have kept well away from you/found somewhere else to sit.

Re your second paragraph, YWperhapsBU. Off-lead dogs and their unpredictability make me very nervous. And, as silly as the behaviour of the woman you met was, she's right in that some dog owners do seem to think they own public space and damn the consequences. (Not saying you think like that, at all).

Cosmoplease · 11/04/2019 10:59

No, YNBU.

I had a similar experience last year, but I am mindful that some people have a genuine fear of dogs and it must be very difficult for them when out on walks.

However, you can't just tell someone to move their dogs away, assuming they're not in their space, that is. It's up to you to move or at least explain that dogs make you nervous, so could you please keep them close to you etc.

The guy who had a go at me was absolutely full of hate and rage and my dog had done absolutely nothing. He said if it was up to him, they'd all be shot and my dog simply walked past him. Nice man.

Serialweightwatcher · 11/04/2019 11:00

She sounds not quite right to me - if you were there already, she could have gone elsewhere ... wouldn't worry OP, world is full of total arseholes Flowers

Lifeover · 11/04/2019 11:00

And totally agree flesh. In winter the countryside and beaches are full of dogs and dog walkers, usually kept clean and tidy, keeping cafes and the like open with the doggy pound. A bit of sun the dog haters appear demanding the pooches are locked away out of sight for the next 4 months. Screaming hysterically if a dog comes within 100 feet of them. Beaches covered with litter. Come the end of September they clear off, beaches and the countryside covered in dogs not litter again.

TrendyNorthLondonTeen · 11/04/2019 11:00

I bet she's on MN.

Clutterbugsmum · 11/04/2019 11:07

YANBU.

If you don't like dogs then don't go where you know dogs are walked. You don't sit next to someone with dogs if you don't like them, you find another bench to sit on.