AIBU to think it’s ok to expect them to do this

[ThePlaceToVent]

It’s a Step-Parent one - please be fair it’s not THAT serious.

DSDs are 12 and 14. They come EOW.

DH washes and irons their school uniform for them, this is the only time it gets ironed (when they are here).

Two of my DC are adults and I still have 17 yr old (who has ASC but goes to college and has a PT job).

Since all my kids were about 12 (or old enough to be using phones and consoles) there was the expectation that they would put their own clothes in the wash and DH (not their dad) taught them how to iron their clothes.

This was by no way a regime it was just to enable them to help out and wash their own clothes if I was busy etc and in some way take a bit of responsibility. My thinking was if they can use tech they can use a washing machine etc.

On the weekend OH was irritated that DS had put some towels (old white ones whicj are tatty abdcoff white) in the wash on a 30 degree wash with some coloured clothes.

I really wasn’t that bothered as nothing had happened. He was also irritated as he wanted to put his kids clothes in which has been sitting by the machine for two days - so as not to drip feed I do have an issue with the amount of time DSDs spend on their phones.

I retorted “at least he washes his own clothes!” Which yes was a bit of me.

He then goes on a rant about how DSD2 is “only 12”. This whole time she is sat in her phone.

I suggested that if he taught them how to iron their own clothes then they would be able to do this for themselves (at home) should they so wish.

He thinks I am harsh but I think he’s doing them a favour teaching them life skills (they are both very tall so physically there is no issue) and it wouldn’t kill them to stick their kit in the machine rather than walking past it for two days waiting for someone else to do it.

[Petalflowers]

From reading your post, the thing that jumps out was that he wanted to use the machine when it was being used, even though the clothes could have been washed earlier, and that your kids do chores, but his doesn’t.

I wouldn’t expect a 12 year old to wash and iron, but they can do things such as put clothes in wash pile, put their own clothes away etc.

[ThePlaceToVent]

They ditch it all by the washing machine they don’t put it in the basket.

It takes 30 seconds to just put it on.

Tbf I then normally wash their clothes in their suitcase as they are often dirty and smell of smoke (I don’t expect them to do this I normally do this discreetly).

If you are going to put your clothes by the machine why can’t you put them in it and the machine on - rather than leave it to someone else.

[sackrifice]

When I was 12 I was helping to do the wash, and that was in a twin tub and spinner. Putting a wash on now is literally child's play.

[BackforGood]

If you are going to put your clothes by the machine why can’t you put them in it and the machine on

Because it doesn't make sense to just stick Friday's uniform in - as said above.

[ThePlaceToVent]

There is enough for a load tbh blazers, kilts, ties, PE kit.

It’s not that anyway it’s DH attitude that they shouldn’t have to put a wash on, when he felt my kids should. Why on earth can’t a normally developed 12 year old put the machine machine on? I don’t get it - it’s not like I am giving them a gar of soap and a washing board.

They will put uniform by an empty machine too. Not inside.

[ThePlaceToVent]

Typos

[SherlockSays]

I must have lived a very sheltered life.. I didn't have to do my own laundry until I left home. We didn't iron any clothes though, and I still don't.