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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

No children under 8

192 replies

clairemcnam · 10/04/2019 14:28

I have just tried to book a table at a local Italian restaurant and I was surprised to be told that children under 8 years old are not allowed?

OP posts:
SileneOliveira · 10/04/2019 15:23

They can hardly put a sign up saying "Well-behaved under 8s only". It just wouldn't work.

No, it wouldn't. Because parents with the worst behaved children are often the most blissfully unaware of how awful they are. Or know, and don't give a shit.

"well behaved" is a value judgement. The age isn't. Sounds like the perfect place for an adult meal out.

SVRT19674 · 10/04/2019 15:24

Not real Italian then. Southern Europeans make an awful fuss of children.

ChocChocButtons · 10/04/2019 15:25

Why don’t you arrange a babysitter and go for a date night?

SileneOliveira · 10/04/2019 15:25

I know there would be no issue at all.

You might know that OP, but the restaurant doesn't. They've probably had people in the past say that their children are little angels, you won't hear a peep from them, they're good as gold - and then they turn out to be anything but.

It's not an unreasonable rule. You are free to take your custom elsewhere. You would be unreasonable to expect them to make an exception for you, based on your say so.

eddiemairswife · 10/04/2019 15:26

Sometimes I don't even want to see children when dining out; not even the perfectly behaved Mumsnet children. Is that so bad?

Spikeyball · 10/04/2019 15:26

If I saw a well behaved sign I would wonder about their attitude towards learning disabilities and would avoid it even without ds being with us.

ALLMYSmellySocks · 10/04/2019 15:27

Not real Italian then. Southern Europeans make an awful fuss of children.

I lived in Italy for a year and found while yes kids are more accepted in restaurants they're also usually less trouble than in the UK. In the UK I notice more parents allowing kids to become a pain in the bum in public and I also notice more adults being intolerant of kids when they're not being a pain in the bum.

tillytoodles1 · 10/04/2019 15:28

I came on here expecting everyone to be shocked that their precious darlings weren't allowed in. It's so satisfying to realise that most people feel like I do, go to places were children are welcome, let adults have a choice.

LadyRannaldini · 10/04/2019 15:32

So you want to be that special case to whom a publicised restriction applies?

LittleChristmasMouse · 10/04/2019 15:34

@tillytoodles1

I'm being treated as the devil incarnate for daring the express what you've just said.

I completely agree - let's have a choice.

adulthumanwolf · 10/04/2019 15:34

I've spent a lot of time in Italy, and Italian children are amazingly well behaved in restaurants compared to British children.

WaxOnFeckOff · 10/04/2019 15:37

you wont say where it is?? its been asked a few times now

Maybe OP doesn't want to tell people where she lives? You don't have a right to information you know Hmm

BrokenWing · 10/04/2019 15:40

So yes I think I fell for the stereotype as well that Italians love children.

They do, but you will find in their culture children sit at the table and talk to adults. In the UK a lot of, not all, children have no boundaries/poor parenting, wander about restaurants, play electronic devices, leave a mess etc. They've set a cut off age where they hope to avoid some of this. It is unfortunate for those that do parent and teach their children manners

FilledSoda · 10/04/2019 15:40

Surprised because of the cut off age ?
Because it's Italian ?
Or at any restaurant making this rule ?

HexagonalBattenburg · 10/04/2019 15:42

Long as they're clear about it so it's not a case of showing up to be turned away - I have no issue with it whatsoever - I have two kids who are generally decently behaved in restaurants, but they're kids, they need reminding to keep quiet when noise levels start to rise, and they get bored easier than adults, and I fully accept that other people don't find them as utterly enchanting as I do. I'd go elsewhere when I had the kids with me and mark it down as a possible destination if I ever had a handy babysitter around.

MrsTerryPratchett · 10/04/2019 15:43

Sometimes I don't even want to see children when dining out;

I do actually find that a little odd. I mean you wouldn't say it about the elderly. Children are still humans.

notacooldad · 10/04/2019 15:43

The children we would be taking would not run around. They would sit and eat and talk to the adults
Your kids may be perfect but there sre plenty of slack parents that allow kids to roam and they think it's cute!
I'm glad there are places that have no children polices like this.
There are dozens more if equally nice places that will allow children.
I'd save that place to go with your Dp for a special occasion.

colditz · 10/04/2019 15:43

Sounds epic. Where is it? I will give them my custom!

CupcakeDrama · 10/04/2019 15:45

Agree what people are saying about the children in the uk. I was reading a post about a woman whose loud children were disturbing her neighbour and she was saying she cant tell them to be quiet as children cant be told to be quiet Hmm all the posters were agreeing with her. I find that a general reflection of parents in the uk, letting their little darlings run wild and scream and shout because children cant be told to be quiet apparently.

Ragwort · 10/04/2019 16:00

Sensible policy, I have had many meals out ruined by badly behaved children, usually with self indulgent parents beaming at their spirited children Hmm. Eating out used to be a treat, now I would rather have a nice meal in the peace and quiet of my own home Grin.

MrsTerryPratchett · 10/04/2019 16:03

Actually, thinking about it, I find Italians more tolerant of families. Not just children. Accommodating to older people, pregnant women, children, even teenagers. I think it's a culture of family, not children.

We first took DD to our local posh Italian restaurant, when she was 4. DD heard me say to the maître d', "just give us the nod as soon as there is any unacceptable behaviour at all. We will leave immediately". DD behaved impeccably (and she has SEN). High expectations and practice.

TheGrey1houndSpeaks · 10/04/2019 16:07

How is prewarning parents that their children are expected to stay at their own table “tarring everyone with the same brush”?
If your kids would do this regardless then the notice doesn’t apply to you... You can bet there’ll be plenty who absolutely will need to be told what the expectations are, because they don’t have a clue how to behave in public.
No need for ruffled feathers at all.

butteryellow · 10/04/2019 16:09

I would just laugh and go somewhere else. We have no-one to babysit (well, except iPads) so our kids have been in all sorts of restaurants (although the youngest still thinks macdonalds is the best), never with any problems - there's plenty of other places to eat.

Redglitter · 10/04/2019 16:13

The children we would be taking would not run around

Yours might but sadly not everyone's will be. I'd love a restaurant with that policy.

I went to one restaurant where the child at the table behind me thought pulling my hair or hitting me with a menu was great fun. On another occasion a small child came up to our table constantly with things hed taken from other tables. On both occasions parents didn't intervene & gave a 'isn't he adorable' type smile.

Child free restaurants are a great idea

YouTheCat · 10/04/2019 16:19

I don't mind kids if they are behaving appropriately for where they are.