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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

No children under 8

192 replies

clairemcnam · 10/04/2019 14:28

I have just tried to book a table at a local Italian restaurant and I was surprised to be told that children under 8 years old are not allowed?

OP posts:

Nicknacky · 10/04/2019 14:48

Unless it’s the only restaurant in your town then I don’t see the problem. Not every business wants children, high chairs, colouring in, kids menus etc.

It obviously makes more business sense for them to target adults and older children.

MrsTerryPratchett · 10/04/2019 14:49

There is a myth that all Italians love children. We booked a table at our local some years back and felt about as welcome as a shitty stick.

Italians in Italy welcome Italian children, who generally know how to behave in a restaurant. Because they've been trained from birth. Table manners generally appear to be dying but they aren't in Italy.

StarTheGirl · 10/04/2019 14:52

It sounds fair enough to me too I’m afraid op!

I used to work in a vair naice restaurant and although we didn’t have a policy per se, young children were only welcome at lunch time.

Once a man made a last minute booking for his dw’s Bday. We moved things around to accommodate him. He then showed up for his reservation for two people, bringing his 3yo along too! My manager had to very diplomatically send them packing. They were very , but we didn’t even have a high chair and this place was sooooo formal. I did feel really bad for them, but at the same time, do your research before booking and book for the correct number of people! Obviously he was trying to be nice to his dw, albeit very last minute.

AryaStarkWolf · 10/04/2019 14:53

Sounds amazing

LostInShoebiz · 10/04/2019 14:55

Where is this place?

Acis · 10/04/2019 14:55

They can hardly put a sign up saying "Well-behaved under 8s only". It just wouldn't work.

ThatssomebadhatHarry · 10/04/2019 14:57

Your taking this too personally. Of course some kids will sit quietly, but many don’t. Plus parents perceptions of how quiet their kids are can be way off. My kids have always been taught to sit and eat quietly, as I was as a child, but I would equally love a place where me and dh can just go and have a nice adult meal.
There are plenty of other places.

Original poster

clairemcnam · 10/04/2019 14:58

Yes good point.
It is a proper Italian restaurant, not a pizza and pasta place. So yes I think I fell for the stereotype as well that Italians love children.
And honest, the kids would be so well behaved.

OP posts:

HavelockVetinari · 10/04/2019 14:58

Ooh I'd love to go there! DS is nearly 2, he's a pest and a menace at restaurants - when we get a rare child-free night out the last thing I want is small children around making jokes about bums and laughing like hyenas There's also the fact that high-chairs can make it difficult for waiters/waitresses to get in and out of the tables, depending on size and configuration.

You should just find another restaurant to go to as a family, and visit that one when you've got a babysitter. I bet you'll have a great time!

Giddyuppp · 10/04/2019 14:59

There's a Turkish restaurant near me where under 12's aren't allowed. I have kids but I still think it's fair, if I want to go with kids I will go elsewhere... no biggie.

RosaWaiting · 10/04/2019 14:59

is it in London? I want to go! I know lots of people who would love that, including my mum.

StarTheGirl · 10/04/2019 15:00

Tbf havelock, bum jokes are pretty hilarious... .

Spikeyball · 10/04/2019 15:00

It's fine. A clear non discrimatory policy.

womandear · 10/04/2019 15:01

Lot's of gastro pubs round ours are no kids after 8pm - even teenagers, and I think that's fair enough. Most pubs/restaurants are very family friendly, and if they think they can survive without allowing families with younger kids fair play to them.

Sirzy · 10/04/2019 15:01

I would't want to go to a restaurant with this policy. I have never been bothered by other people's kids at a restaurant.

Then you don’t need to and you can go to one of the many family friendly places.

I went out for a rare “proper” meal with my DP a few weeks back. Child free. We picked a nice place and I would have been annoyed to end up with children in there because sometimes it just nice to escape from children!

cordeliavorkosigan · 10/04/2019 15:01

I think it’s probably because dc take up a seat but are unlikely to order as full a meal and more costly in mess and disorder, so it’s more profitable if they can fill the restaurant with adults!

Original poster

clairemcnam · 10/04/2019 15:02

This is at all times. It looks such a great menu as well. Oh well!

OP posts:

womandear · 10/04/2019 15:02

Italians in my experience are just like everyone else - they like their own kids but not always other people!!!

PlainSpeakingStraightTalking · 10/04/2019 15:02

Whats the address ? I think I'd like to go there !

MadameDD · 10/04/2019 15:07

Perfect - where is it?!

They must have had some bad experiences with kids - well not necessarily kids behaving badly - parents not parenting them well.

Are you 100% sure OP that the children you'd be taking would behave, not scream and shout, demand an Ipad etc?

I was taken to a restaurant when I was a child at approx. 8-10 years old - and this was one that said it welcomed children - had hamburgers, knickerbocker glories etc and framed signed photos of stars and colouring pencils/crayons. Otherwise it was Pizza Hut etc.

My DD4.5 lovely though she is can be a little madam at times, I don't like using an Ipad to amuse her, she wouldn't colour/chat nicely all the way through a meal either, maybe a short lunch. She doesn't scream (thank god for that!) and wouldn't run around but she might - if waiting staff spoke to her do her 'shy and silent no speaking routine'. I tend to bring her favourite toy (a dog eared old velvet kangaroo - don't ask...) if we go out to e.g. Bella Pasta.

Beansandcoffee · 10/04/2019 15:09

It gives everyone a choice to go for a meal without kids there. My kids are very well behaved but if I’m out for a meal I don’t always want to go where kids are allowed. Same as hotels - adult only hotels are very popular here and abroad. Once my kids don’t want to come on holiday with me I will be visiting adult only hotels so that I can enjoy my breakfast without kids screaming and running around.

MadameDD · 10/04/2019 15:14

OP - actually I have a friend who owns (family run) an independent Italian restaurant in central London who 'did' allow children until recently.

She said that some patrons with kids - used to be fairly strict - e.g. sit up straight, no running etc - but then they got a few patrons who wanted Ipads at tables, a few occasions when kids did run round and parents wouldn't or only after being spoken to by one of the managers more than once tried to get their child to sit down. She said they had complaints from other diners without children dining too. They took the decision that Ipads (which sometimes had no headphones, and kids running around) weren't a good business model for them to take in future and to take the hit on not allowing families. They're in a tourist area so could potentially lose out if tourist families with kids under 10 wanted to eat there.

Recently they imposed a ban of no under 10's.

She actually said to me that if a baby was to come in a Moses basket/travel cot and was asleep that that wouldn't be a problem.

Original poster

clairemcnam · 10/04/2019 15:16

madame Yes they would be well behaved. They are used to sitting at the dinner table and eating dinner and talking. I know there would be no issue at all.

OP posts:

CupcakeDrama · 10/04/2019 15:18

you wont say where it is?? its been asked a few times now. Sounds ideal. I hate seeing kids dropping drinks and standing on tables. and I say that as someone with 4 8 and under! not everything has to be child friendly

ALLMYSmellySocks · 10/04/2019 15:18

I've been turned away from places for that reason. It's unusual but I've also been in restaurants over run with noisy kids so I kind of see why.

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