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Original poster

Should I replace child's designer coat?

306 replies

happyrain · 10/04/2019 12:21

DS punctured a hole in the arm of a classmate's coat while playing with a stick during breaktime this week. The children play in a wooded area so stick play is not unusual there, although I have of course had stern words with DS about stick games and being careful and so on.

Parents of coat-child naturally aren't happy. I have offered to have the hole professionally repaired but no, they want us to replace the coat. I'm guessing the coat is some sort of designer one as they want the best part of £200 from us.

Whilst I completely accept my DS's responsibility for the damage I am not sure that £200 for a small puncture hole is entirely reasonable.

Any thoughts?

OP posts:
Original poster
happyrain · 10/04/2019 13:00

DS actually strongly denies ripping it but I'm as confident as I can be that it was him as he was seen (by a teacher) next to the other child with a stick in his hand at the time it happened and the other child has no reason to lie. I don't think DS meant to do it, or even realised he had done it (hence the teary denial) but the evidence is strong enough for me to accept it was him.

I haven't seen the coat personally. The teacher is into sewing and seemed to think it was a simple repair job which is why I offered the professional mending job.

OP posts:
Ginnymweasley · 10/04/2019 13:01

Have you seen the coat? Is it definitely worth 200 quid? Surely the repair would be fine if it's just a hole? Accidents happen and I would imagine most parents would be happy with your offer of a repair cause it's perfectly reasonable.

Mitzimaybe · 10/04/2019 13:02

I wouldn't pay a penny unless I knew that DS had deliberately torn the coat. If it was accidental then it's just one of those things that happen when children are playing. If the situation was reversed i.e. your DS came home with a torn coat, would you ask them to replace it?

sauvignonblancplz · 10/04/2019 13:02

Hold on. It is 100% the parents choice to send the kid to school in whatever style/price of coat they choose.

There must be more to it OP, otherwise I’m surprised the school are asking for compensation .

You can absolutely offer to have it repaired or offer your apologies and say it’s just one of those things. However if you feel the cost should be replaced , then the cost should be replaced - the cost shouldn’t have any bearing.

Original poster
happyrain · 10/04/2019 13:03

Oh and to answer another question the parent contacted me via messenger. I don't think I have ever actually met her as she doesn't do the school run.

OP posts:
NicoAndTheNiners · 10/04/2019 13:03

No way would I pay. Sounds like their child was happily playing along with the game.

CallipygianFancier · 10/04/2019 13:04

At that age managed to put a hole in the knees of a brand new shell suit (look, it was the 80s, OK?), and there's a couple of instances of things like wearing through the toes of shoes in a couple of hours on ride on toys when I was younger still.

Kids are hard on clothes! Spending £200 on a jacket for an 8 year old is idiotic, unless you don't have to be concerned about the cost beyond how anyone else would be about a £20 one.

thecatsthecats · 10/04/2019 13:04

I don't really understand how a stick could puncture a coat of reasonable sturdiness accidentally (i.e. without really significant, prolonged pressure) though. Is it some kind of very delicate down coat?

Well, this is totally beside the point, and outrageously snobby of me, so I shall flagellate myself later...

...But it's very new money to buy a £200 designer coat that doesn't even stand up to wear and tear. My mum got in with some local minor aristos, and they are all about the 20yo Barbour with sleeves repatched beyond counting.

Totally their choice to be that way and spend that money. Totally not within their remit to set the rules about replacing such naffery as a £200 coat for playing in though!

Original poster
happyrain · 10/04/2019 13:04

The school aren't asking for compensation. They mentioned the incident to me at pick up yesterday and just said it should be a simple repair job.

OP posts:
ineedaholidaynow · 10/04/2019 13:05

Have you seen the damage? Have they sent a photo of it?

Chippychipsforme · 10/04/2019 13:07

I'd offer to pay for a repair if a receipt was provided up to say £25.

I'm not even sure I'd accept it was my child that did it, could have easily been a sticking out branch.

SavoyCabbage · 10/04/2019 13:07

I’d retract the offer for the professional repair and wash my hands of the situation. You’ve done your best. They are being ridiculous.

ScatteredMama82 · 10/04/2019 13:09

8 year olds will play rough and accidents will happen. Anyone sending their child to school in a £200 needs their head read. Stick to your offer of repair, that seems entirely fair if your child was at fault.

PeachesAndMayo · 10/04/2019 13:10

Nope. A professional repair is all that's required (and mum will throw it out anyway because even after the repair it'll be 'ruined'). You're on a loser here from the start, so save your money.

OneDayillSleep · 10/04/2019 13:13

Who sends their child to school in a £200 coat? I fully accept whatever I send my child to nursery in is likely to come back mucky/possibly damaged or worse just not come back! I wouldn’t be replacing a £200 coat, I think you have been more than generous offering to have the coat repaired. This is on them for sending their child in ridiculously expensive clothing.

Next do lovely coats for £30, I think that’s the max I spend on children’s coats and rightly so.

Whathappenedtothelego · 10/04/2019 13:14

I'm not sure sneering at people who buy expensive coats is helpful.

My children wear expensive coats at school, as do many of their classmates. Because we live in an area with lots of wet and windy weather and where it's normal to do outdoors activities t the weekend. They need technical waterproof coats, and people prioritise them.

I'd be gutted if one got damaged, but I would accept these things happen. I wouldn't be demanding a new coat and would gratefully accept the cost of a repair.
But I wouldn't be impressed with being told it's my own fault for buying an expensive coat.

Original poster
happyrain · 10/04/2019 13:16

Actually @Mitzimaybe my other child did come home in a torn coat before Christmas funnily enough. I shrugged my shoulders, told him to be more careful, and he's still wearing it with a hole in. I appreciate that not everyone has my sloppy standards and aversion to any kind of conflict though and this parent is perfectly entitled to not want her child to have a hole in his coat through no fault of his own.

Might speak to the school again at pick up and see what they advise.

No, I have not seen the coat either before or after the damage. No idea what sort of coat it is. Was very mild here on the day of Stick Incident so doubt it was a heavy thick sturdy stick-proof one.

OP posts:
Hollowvictory · 10/04/2019 13:16

It's a repair job for them not you.

caughtinanet · 10/04/2019 13:17

I'd ask the school what their usual approach is to stuff accidentally damamged at school. Might be something they could think about if parents are stupid enough to send their children in expensive clothes.

MatildaTheCat · 10/04/2019 13:17

I would actually be inclined to ignore the message completely. The incident happened at school whilst under the supervision of their staff who allowed play in this area. If anyone is responsible it could be argued to be the school and you can bet your bottom dollar they have a policy of ‘at your own risk’ when it comes to items of clothing etc.

Accidents happen, stuff gets damaged. They can repair the coat and reflect on the sense of sending a kid to school in a coat which wasn’t, as it turned out, fit for purpose ( outdoor play).

Notverygrownup · 10/04/2019 13:19

I would be contacting the school again. If it is their policy to allow students to play in the woods at breaktime unsupervised, then they should have a policy about who pays for any damage. It was on their premises, they are liable for the students behaviour there. They should be mediating - this shouldn't happen via messenger.

At the very least, they might advise parents in future to provide appropriate clothing for breaktime and making it clear for future students where liability lies.

And no, YANBU offering a professional repair service.

HolesinTheSoles · 10/04/2019 13:19

If DS had his coat accidentally torn at school I wouldn't even consider asking the other child's parents to pay for it. It's just what happens and is why you shouldn't send them in their best clothes.

Aprillygirl · 10/04/2019 13:20

You don't need to spend anywhere near $200 for coat to be wind and waterproof though Whathappened. And it's the kid wearing it I feel sorry for. Poor child must feel under so much pressure to keep it safe.

howmanyusernames · 10/04/2019 13:20

You have done more than you should have in offering to get it fixed.

IF you do pay for a new coat, you need to:

  1. see the coat and damage first
  2. take the coat to keep it if you do replace it
  3. insist on buying the new coat yourself

But it does sound like the parent is trying it on.....

lordofthefries · 10/04/2019 13:20

They shouldn’t send their child to school in such expensive clothes, kids lose and damage things so easily. Don’t pay the £200, I’d tell them you’ll pay for a repair or nothing

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