Mum said no to helping me with the kids

[Teddybear080818]

Not sure if anybody remembers the thread (I had posted about doing a mutual exchange but the lady wanted me to pay for the damaged doors)

Anyway the council have agreed to fix them!! And I move in on Saturday. I first asked her if she could have my eldest for a few hours to allow me to move in peace (other kids going to other family) she said no, so I asked if she'd be willing to come and sit in the house while I pack and she said no.
So not to be accused of drip feeding, I offered to make her dinner and endless amounts of cups of tea and she still said no, she wouldn't have to change them or give them dinner. Just sit there and make sure they are fighting/licking doors while I run around!

I am beyond stressed trying to get packed, I have 3 days well technically 2 as I have a meeting with the council on Friday and then work

If I am BU then can I have tips on how to get packed with very little time?!

[IWentAwayIStayedAway]

Cancel settling in session. And start being petty with your mum. Where are you. Im free on saturday and would be happy to watch kids in your house for a couple of hours.

[Teddybear080818]

I've already been to the nursery session so that was a bit pointless lol. She needs the settling in sessions otherwise she can't start after the holidays. She has another one Monday but shall be moved by then so all is good

[Yougotdis]

It’s just about you and your partner ploughing through it. Get a hold-all and put four days of clothes in it for you and the kids. Everything else gets packed. Wheel your bin into the house if you can so your not in and out to the bins.

[Shenanagins]

To be honest, I would say to my mum outright not to ask for any help in the future as none will be forthcoming.

As for the poster who said to take a sickie, please don’t take this terrible advice.

Both you and your partner are relatively new in your jobs and easily expendable when they find out (after you notify them of a change of address), that you were lying and then sack you.

[Jessie94]

I wouldn't be annoyed. They're your kids after all, not hers.

How old are they?

I'm sure they can help pack, if they're young then pack during nap time or pop them up in a sling while you do it.

I moved house as a single mum with a 14 month old to a new town 90 miles away. I had no one to help. I had to pack everything and deep clean. It's perfectly do able.

[HedgerowTree]

Your mum won’t watch your kids in your house when you are moving house? Then you never do Absolutley anything for her ever again.

Don’t bother folding the laundry and putting it away first, just put it straight in bin bags to unpack when you get there. Bin bags are your friend for everything. Don’t organise or sort, just empty and sort the other end.

[AllTheFours44]

Has anyone got a medal for Jessie94?

Hope you’re getting through it, OP. Your mother is selfish.

[mylifestory]

Remember when your mum wants to come round after uve moved that u are not able to accommodate her as u didnt have much time to pack properly so unshoved everythign in boxes and it will take u a year to sort thru it!

[nuxe1984]

You should be packing instead of going online moaning about your mum not helping and, no doubt, wasting more time reading all the responses.

My mum died when I was pregnant. We had the funeral a week later and moved the week after that. And I had no help.

Just put stuff into boxes - you can sort it all out when you unpack it.

[woollyheart]

@nuxe1984 That must have been terrible.

Not quite the same situation though. In this case the grandparent just doesn't want to help and apparently is not sick or dying.

[Aragog]

Pack room by room.
For bedrooms - pile all the smaller stuff (toys, teddies etc) into the inside of the duvet cover, fasten in and put in a bin liner.

CBeebies and treats - bribery for the eldest two.

[ZforZack]

I agree , just open cupboards, drawers etc & empty them into boxes ,
They can be sorted at the other end ,
Bedding, soft toys & clothes in black bags
Repack shopping ( food ) back into bags for life etc
Good luck op !! 💐

[JemSynergy]

Just remember to say no the next time your mum asks a favour!

[ShowMeTheKittens]

Sorry your Mum won't help. that's pretty rank. My partner has done the packing and we are moving tomorrow. I am terrified ( enforced moving due to redundancy after two years of being bullied ) and have been ill for two weeks. I have done all the arrangements and admin . But nobody has helped us, not that I asked. We are doing it cos its Easter break. So he is home. But I wish someone would have helped you! Keep us postedx

[Teddybear080818]

Glad to see I'm not totally BU! I can cope with my kids and I'm a bit sad that somebody insinuated I couldn't but I suppose that's AIBU for you!!

I'm not working today so I've packed as much as possible, kids room needs done but I hope some chocolate buttons will be enough of a bribe to pack the toys tomorrow!
My bedroom is done, a few of the babies clothes to put in a box.
Bathroom is done but as I've bathed the kids I need to clean the bath etc so theres a few cleaning products scattered about.

Tomorrow I have my electricity test so will be in for the guy coming, I have the HV coming too so hopefully they're on time!!

I don't want to still be packing come Saturday morning but have a horrible feeling I will be

[Middersweekly]

I am glad you got the housing situation sorted and are moving! You have my sympathies as I too had 3 under 5yrs at one stage of my life. I can count the number of hours on one hand that my mum has babysat for me and my eldest is now turning 16 soon!
Buy a couple of rolls of bin liners and be brutal. Pack what you need and bin any junk you don’t need/want any longer. I’ve moved countries twice with my 4 kids and me and DH did everything on our own with the kids milling about. It was stressful agreed but doable! It will be worth it when your in your new home!

[Daddylonglegs1965]

SkintAsASkintThing

You drew the short straw with mum's..,..... remember this when she's old and feeble.

This. I asked my parents if they could help me out occasionally for 1 or 2 hours a week or babysit once a month to help me as had two DC 13 months apart and was having panic attacks as felt permanently stressed and GP insisted I ask. They had practically looked after my niece full time as well as regular babysitting but refused to help us at all telling me if DS cries just put him in the travel cot and leave him to cry while you see to the little one. They lived 5 to 10 minute drive away.
I feel like reminding them of this and suggesting they get a big cot for Dad as he has dementia but I couldn’t be that selfish.

[Teddybear080818]

That is what I have managed to get done today, it's been a nice day so have had the walking ones outside constantly!
Getting there!!

[Fairyhill]

I m not sure where you live - but if I lived by you I d take the older one for you - or any of them so you could pack - been there and done that with little ones .. it’s so stressful - and when you know that a family member could help but just does nt want too - it hurts.
But remember that when you chose her old people’s home! .
Good luck .. you can do this - and let us know how the move goes.
Be thinking of you.

[manicmij]

You will have a stressful time but at the end you should give yourself a pat on the back. As other suggestions, packing boxes, newspaper. Try dealing with a room at a time and putting a label for the room on the box. Are you actually moving everything yourself or have a removal co. The removers usually provide some packing boxes but nit usually enough for a family of your number. Don't panic, you will manage and Good Luck.

[TigerTooth]

Do you know any responsible teens who would sit and entertain them for a few quad an hour? Childminding service?

[TigerTooth]

Must be crap - my mother was 65 when I had my first - she’s 87 now and she still collects my youngest from school and helps out in any way she can. Including having the younger overnight whilst I looked at unis with eldest.
I do worry that my children will expect me to be as wonderful as my mother🤣

[Teddybear080818]

@TigerTooth my mum is 53 and says she's too old to help :/

[TigerTooth]

Gosh - your mum is my age! ( had my last at 43!)