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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be fumimg that hes been sacked yet again!!!

70 replies

PoppyD93x · 10/04/2019 10:24

My partner has just been sacked!! I'm so angry with him. Sometimes no matter whos in the wrong you cant keep having a go at your boss!! He's so argumentative can never back down and always has to have the last word. Sometimes in life you just have to grit your teeth and do the job because you need the fucking money!!!

Sorry i just need to rant!! This is the 2nd time its happened in 6 months with the same company. I dont think they will take him back this time.

OP posts:
GirlcalledJack · 10/04/2019 11:16

If what he is saying is true he needs to go to the police.

Can you suggest anger management therapy?

He obviously needs to find a new job with a decent company but if he can’t bite his tongue and tow the line it’s going to be difficult wherever he works.
Could you suggest finding a new job and becoming a union rep? Would give him a legitimate way to solve injustices of the workplace.

AintNobodyHereButUsReindeer · 10/04/2019 11:17

Sounds like my dad, he was forever getting sacked. It was never his fault he fell out with his management though, the supervisor was a wanker, the boss was a dickhead, the manager was a control freak etc etc Hmm My dad just couldn't learn to keep his trap shut and get on with his work. He'd always start rows.

cstaff · 10/04/2019 11:20

My brother couldn't hold a job for years because of the same reason i.e. always arguing and falling out with his bosses because DB was always right. It was never DB fault anyway.

He ended up becoming a taxi driver as that was the only job he could do where he was his own boss and couldn't be fired Grin

Not sure about your DH OP - his boss sounds very dodgy tbh. Maybe not as straightforward as my ass of a brother.

anonymousbird · 10/04/2019 11:21

Oh no, so sorry to hear this, what an idiot for flying off the handle, though the situation sounds suspect. Sadly, he fell into the trap.

My sister kept getting sacked/always first to be made redundant as she couldn't accept any amount of authority or the fact that someone else might be right and she might, just might not be and needed to act in an appropriate fashion and not go crazy at superiors.

She has NPD, and constant changes of employment, getting sacked is a classic characteristic.

spanishwife · 10/04/2019 11:24

I wouldn't waste my life with someone who can't get along in regular society. There's no excuse for raising your voice at anyone.

Original poster
PoppyD93x · 10/04/2019 11:34

Thats what annoys me. Whatever the situation was its never his fault always someone elses!! Im not sure if that's the full story or not but either way yes the company is a bit dodgy but it is legit its a big company that does new builds and shop fittings. Im on maternity leave aswell so i cant help much and our rent is ridiculous so f**k knows what we are going to do now.

OP posts:
bethy15 · 10/04/2019 11:38

I've just seen your other thread and it seems he's just an awful person all around and doesn't just treat his bosses like crap but you too.

ilikemethewayiam · 10/04/2019 11:41

I know you said it’s a whole other thread OP but people are rarely shouting, angry and threatening just at certain people and not others. If he’s like this with one person I’m assuming he’s also like it with you. It’s not something a person can switch off. what ever the real reason is for him getting sacked is irrelevant to how he reacted. That behaviour is abusive full stop. I could not live with someone who had explosive outbursts. I did for a long time! I was a nervous wreck at the end of it. I doubt you’ll get to the truth about his sacking or who’s to blame but at the end of the day, do you want to live with such a chaotic person? Surely you deserve better than this.

alittlesnow · 10/04/2019 11:45

As someone who has always worked and paid my way and never taken handouts from anyone, and who comes from a family who is the same, including all the men; father, grandfather, great grandfather, uncles, brothers etc, I'm afraid this would be a dealbreaker for me.

All the men in my life (including my husband,) have been hard workers, who stayed in the same job for many years, and got their nose to the grindstone, and looked after their families. I simply couldn't tolerate a man who was flaky, unreliable, snappy, angry all the time, blaming everyone but himself for everything that goes wrong in his life, losing job after job, and throwing his family in the financial mire.

He won't even be able to claim jobseekers allowance, or housing benefit, or council tax benefit or ANYthing, not if he has been sacked.

My DH has had his moments when he has had arguments at work and claimed it's not his fault, but he has never been sacked - not in 36-37 years of work. He's not perfect - no-one is - but any man who is constantly being sacked - or even constantly giving up jobs and moving onto another one (several times a year,) is not someone I could be with.

I know several women with men like this, and they are always walking on eggshells, worrying about finances, borrowing money off people to make ends meet, and looking 10 years older than their age because of the stress. Being married to a stroppy, unreliable, immature manchild will do that to a woman.

Obviously if DH couldn't work because of health reasons or if he lost his job through redundancy, that would be different. For a start, he would not have deliberately and irresponsibly put the family's welfare and financial security in peril. And also, he would be able to claim benefits until he got another job (or until he was well again.) There's none of that if you're sacked!

As I said, dealbreaker for me. I'm afraid I would be leaving this man.

Sorry @PoppyDX93 You are worthy of a better man than this. Don't look back in 30 years and regret your life.

StarTheGirl · 10/04/2019 11:47

Ime you need to go quite a long way to be sacked without warning*. That’s what’s so annoying. It’s so easily avoided in this case.

*Swearing and shouting at your boss will do it, right enough.

Sexnotgender · 10/04/2019 11:50

Sounds like my ex. Nothing was ever his fault.

Was a bloody nightmare to live with. Note he’s an ex.

Itssosunny · 10/04/2019 11:50

He needs to go to the Citizens Advice Bureau and talk to a solicitor. It's free for 30 min.

Ellisandra · 10/04/2019 11:55

When asked of their relationship, a poster says “that’s a whole other thread” you just know they should just leave.

Obviously easy to say and hard to do when you have a small baby.

But honestly - your boyfriend should be among the very best people in your life. Don’t settle for this shit. Make sure you go back to work over maternity leave, and get your ducks in a row to have the options to leave him, if he’s the tosser I suspect he is.

HappilyHarridan · 10/04/2019 11:57

Has he works there continuously for over two years?

spanishwife · 10/04/2019 12:02

your boyfriend should be among the very best people in your life great line.
They should be someone you are proud to be with and excited to spend the rest of your life with. Anyone else isn't worth your precious and limited time.

TatianaLarina · 10/04/2019 12:06

What are you doing with this man?

TroysMammy · 10/04/2019 12:13

I had a husband who was constantly in and out of jobs. He in 98% of the time he walked out with some stupid reasons, as a postman he didn't want to get up in the morning! I wish I hadn't spent 13 years married to him and had a backbone although he didn't like confrontation. He's been an ex for 16 years and at the age of 50 is still flitting from one job to another. My advice get rid. The uncertainty isn't worth it.

shakenfizzydrink · 10/04/2019 12:30

I feel like there is his story, his bosses story, and the truth somewhere in the middle.

But if he's nasty in general op, just get rid.

Horsemenoftheaclopalypse · 10/04/2019 12:34

What are you doing with this man?

This.
Honestly break up with him. Why are you are wasting your life this man?

Takethebuscuitandthesink · 10/04/2019 12:37

It is indescribable how livid I would be in your shoes. Even if it wasn’t his fault he has a baby on the way and a girlfriend to provide for. I would tell him that either he finds another job within a reasonable period of time (I.e a few weeks/a month) and keeps it. Or that is you two done.

Loopytiles · 10/04/2019 12:42

This plus the relationship problems you allude to would be a deal breaker for me.

That said, construction employers can be shit!

Whatever you do continue to work FT.

TaxiPlease · 10/04/2019 12:52

I have a friend whose husband is also serially being fired. He is a lovely bloke but has a real problem with injustice - just cannot keep quiet when faced with it. It has its good points - he will speak truth to power - and its bad - he'll go off the deep end and treat a minor customer service problem like it's a human rights issue that requires the immediate intervention of Amnesty International. It actually turned out that he had an undiagnosed, non-neurotypical issue which was contributing to the behaviour.

As someone who also struggles with authority, respecting hierarchies and biting my tongue (I don't swear or threaten people and have only been fired once, though!), downcast's post really resonated with me, especially the injustice bit. I have ADHD and medication does help me keep myself in check a little bit better. The OP's partner may just be a bit of a dick (haven't read OP's other thread), but there could be more to it.

Dana28 · 10/04/2019 12:56

Your dh sounds well out of it. You should be supporting him.some jobs are not worth having

Original poster
PoppyD93x · 10/04/2019 13:03

Another boss has now said he might get his job next Monday. Oh what a mess!! Tbf he is trying in terms of the relationship we haven't had a big argument since Christmas when he first said he would change. In terms of his job its just added stress i dont need

OP posts:
Topseyt · 10/04/2019 13:06

I don't know whether you will ever be sure that you are getting the whole story here, either from your partner or from his employer. Both sound dodgy to me.

It would be a deal-breaker for me too. You won't get to the truth. Nothing will ever be his fault. Is what he says about his employer definitely true, and do you know that for a fact? Getting keys cut without permission to premises you neither own nor lease sounds very risky to me. Criminal really. Could he have taken it upon himself to get the keys cut without telling anyone so that he could get the equipment? Was he caught and has been summarily dismissed for it, so is now trying to blame others for his twattery? I would wonder if that sounds more likely.

I have occasionally had workmen accidentally leave something behind when a job is finished. They just phone and ask about it, and arrange to come back and collect it. They have never had keys cut and just come to help themselves. That would surely be trespassing.

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