Do you think family should help younger generation to get on housing ladder?

[grimeandlime]

A neighbour of mine has a daughter who is 26 and a lawyer in London. She is a lovely girl and hugely hard working, but her mum was telling me that she cannot even dream of affording a flat due to the huge deposit needed.

Her grandparents live in a 6 bedroom detached house worth about £1mil I reckon. According to neighbour they have investments worth at least £500k due to selling off family business and inheritances.

I know it's got nothing at all to do with me, but surely they could chuck each grandchild £100k as a deposit for a flat, and downsize to a bungalow/ retirement village/ nice flat.

Do you think families should try and help the younger generations to get on the housing ladder?

[Dottierichardson]

Another friend's parent kept a large house so family could stay and is now glad as two of her now very adult children are divorcing and both have now moved back in with her while the divorces drag out.

[claireblueskies]

A 26-year-old lawyer in London can save up to buy a flat. She is in a position of privilege and doesn't need any help.

www.thelawyer.com/trainee-newly-qualified-salaries-uk-law-firms/

[Oliversmumsarmy]

The difference I see between those that qualified as solicitors and accountants or just anyone who went to university back in the 70s or 80s and got an office job compared to nowadays is the times people are at work.

I knew newly qualified accountants and solicitors who would work a strict 9-5 like the other newly qualified/straight out of uni
peer group because they had to be at their next job at 5.30. Either pulling pints at a local pub till 10.30 at night or at a local restaurant as a waiter to make ends meet and get the deposit to buy their first place which would either be absolutely tiny or have a bedroom they would rent out.

Now the same type of people would be frowned on for leaving the office if they don’t stay till very late so that extra job isn’t there to save up for a deposit.

Having said that Dd 19 is saving hard and is looking to buy her first property soon.

It will be very very cheap, from an auction, probably needing work which her brother and herself will do and miles away up north.

It is possible to buy a place at a young age.
You might not like the interior and it might not be where you want to live but you can buy somewhere .

[StillMe1]

It is all very nice to be kind and help children on to the property ladder but it can lead to all sorts of problems
What if your DC is in a relationship but the partner (this is meant to cover all types of relationships) does not have parents who are in a position to help with finances?
Would it be fairer if both sets of parents put in the same amount of money?
Would it be reasonable if the parents with financial resources said that a certain area would not be a good investment?
Would it be reasonable for the partner whose parents were not putting any money forward to be dictating where the property should be bought?
Tried to work out ways to help adult children but nothing was ever good enough for them. Or was that because of the influence of the partner. So ended up not helping even if it upsets me to see my DC working all hours and having nothing to show for it.
Too many problems in giving to children

[Dottierichardson]

Your point is a good one, I also know of a friend's parents who paid for their flat, now friend is going through a bitter divorce and a large amount of the money from the property will go to the ex.

[beansontoastz]

Agree with previous, 'I don't think they should, but I would'

Nobody owes anyone anything, but if I was in a privileged situation and had a good relationship with family members then I certainly would help out. (I hope I can in the future with my future children/grandchildren!)

It's so hard getting on the housing ladder, even renting is supremely difficult atm.

[Poppyinafieldofdreams]

Silly me. I thought it was caused by supply and demand, casino banking, ultra low interest rates and immigration. Instead it is all grandmas fault.

Thank you so much for posting this on social media.

[Knitclubchatter]

surely she will inherit when they decease. while they are alive they need their own money to live off of.
moving is stressful and costly, why move twice (home to one level then again into a care home or palliative center).
getting rid of furniture and other accumulated goods is difficult as no one really wants that stuff anymore.

[justforareply]

I'm sitting in my house worth well over a million and yes I would/have/will help them but I'm not moving out of my home to do it! I have friends/ neighbours etc close, easy access to stuff I can walk to and will need when I'm less able

[Torridon19]

I think their 500 K would give them an income of about 15 grand a year, so it's not money just sitting around - they need that capital ring fenced and invested, simply to pay the bills as they come in...

[IC4nSeeYourPixels]

I don't think they should be expected to sell their home to allow someone else to buy a house.


My Mother lives In a four bedroom house and I'd be embarrassed if my Daughter or any of my nieces and nephews expected her to sell her home to give them money.

[Pemba]

Really Torridon ? But don't you think that people with that amount of assets will normally have decent private pensions coming in too? And of course no mortgage or rent to pay, unlike most younger people.

I doubt it will be a question of desperately needing the interest on their capital to pay the gas bill etc.

However it is obviously up to them whether or not they help the younger members of their family (how many grandchildren are there?) but certainly they could likely well afford to do something.

[Dottierichardson]

Not necessarily know plenty of people planning to use assets as a substitute for a pension. And older people whose private pension schemes failed during the crash and have had to find other ways to fund retirement. Maybe also why they're holding on to their house as savings earn little and the markets are volatile.

[Decormad38]

I think youre unreasonable making judgments about people’s financial position. Perhaps they have always worked on the principle of you make your own fortunes. Different people different philosophies. Why are you making this your business?

[Tavannach]

It would be generous if they chose to help out but it's their money and they're under no obligation to share it with their offspring. If they want they can choose to will it to cancer research or the the local animal sanctuary. Their family are not dependents and are not entitled to anything.

[AlbertWinestein]

No point wasting your time judging a family whose actual reality you know nothing about. The grandparents could be cushioning the cost of their own future care to protect their families.

We won’t be supplying our kids with deposits for homes. We will however be sucking up the cost of their Uni fees so they can graduate without the chain of student debt around their necks. And, where we live, that’s a fuck load of money already.

After that, we have our own futures to think of. And no way would we downsize to a crappy little house just so they can have the pleasure of not saving for a deposit. I love my kids with all my heart but they need to find their own place in the world without thinking the Bank of Mum and Dad are going to pay for it.

[Waytooearly]

I agree with a previous poster that the selfishness can grow through generations.

I see for instance my dad and his wife living in incredible luxuryhuge house and fine holidayswhilst my brother and his wife put car repairs on a credit card so that my brother can continue his second job as an Uber driver whilst my sister-in-law works two jobs and is finishing her degree. They have hardly any time to see their five year old daughter.

I wonder how my brother will be when he's 60? Will he be like our dad and say, 'I've earned my retirement, now you get to learn fiscal responsibility?' Or will he want a different life for his own kids?

By the way my sister-in-law's mum is always pitching in with childcare and other support for them. Honestly she seems to be enjoying her retirement a lot more!

[notangelinajolie]

In answer to the op's question. Absolutely yes. We have just done that and although it means we've wiped out our retirement fund we still have a few years left to top it up. Added bonus DD is now gone and we get our home to ourselves for the first time in 25 years which is a good thing ;-) No one helped us - my parents were quite selfish and went on lots of holidays and didn't help us at all. Me and DH really struggled when we first got on the property ladder and it was hard.

The first house we bought was an infested midden in a hovel town and I would not wish that on my worst enemy least of all my own child. I would not want any of our DC's to have to struggle like we did.

Getting on the property ladder is tough and we are very glad to help.


.

[malificent7]

I wish my dad was so generous. He is very pleased im on universal credit so i don't have to put his hand in his own pocket. Tight bastard! He's rich too. He likes to hoard wealth...always has.
Yes...his money but also his loss as it makes me resentful.

[malificent7]

I think his generation assume we are fiscally irresponsible....as they go on their umpteenth holiday per year.

[echt]

Really Torridon ? But don't you think that people with that amount of assets will normally have decent private pensions coming in too?

What on earth makes you think that?

[DexyMidnight]

I've said this before on here re. this topic, and I'll say it again. 'Help' can mean an interest free loan. It doesn't have to equate to gifting a kid / grandkid 50k. That's huge.

My parents lent me the money for my flat deposit and then for our house deposit (long story) and were paid back in full ASAP.

Yes they graciously and generously missed out on a chunk of bank interest but the 'gain' to me was worth infinitely more than that. I'm very grateful to them.

I don't judge people who aren't in a position to help and I think it's totally fair not to hand over tens of thousands to your offspring (who knows what life may bring, you may live to be 100!). But if you've got a healthy little pot (as in OP's example) and won't even consider lending to your kids to help them on the ladder to be honest I think you're a bit of a shit parent tbh (and don't be surprised when you get shoved in a home alone, even though your kids have a granny flat 'we'll we might need it one day, for a lodger').

A facetious example, but you catch my drift.

[DexyMidnight]

*well we might.

[3ChangingForNow]

I tend to think that the upper classes and working classes who've done well financially see their own money as family money, while the middle classes see their money as MINE, ALL MINE. Massive generalisation but that's what I've observed.

[HicDraconis]

I don’t think anyone “should” do anything they don’t feel is appropriate.

However, DH and I had no help from family to get on the housing ladder - we were lucky (?!) that we were buying in the time of 120% mortgages so we could afford the deposit, moving costs etc without having savings (but both in full time employment). We worked, saved, struggled, eventually arrived at the position we are now and hope to be mortgage free in a few years - and I would like to help my sons because I can.

The plan is to use equity in our family home to buy two houses, one for each child. Title will remain with the family trust (as our current house is) - they’ll be able to live in them, or rent them out for income, whatever is needed. If they marry & divorce the house is safe.

If they want to move they sell up and move, but the percentage of the purchase from the original house will still belong to the family trust and so will need to be paid back to us if there is a relationship breakup and the house is sold. Any of the rest of the value would be split 50:50 (or however is ruled).

I also want to be able to offer free daytime childcare so they can work if they choose to, along the lines of the kindy education my sons had. Activities, learning journals, daily updates, etc. They’ll have to live close enough for that though. And they may not want to use family, although I’m happy to be guided by their wants for their children (I raised my own, I’ll do what they tell me with theirs!).