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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think that if you get food poisoning the last thing you want to eat is the food that caused it?

36 replies

Thistledew · 09/04/2019 17:41

This may read like a MIL bashing thread, but please bear with me because I promise it is not intended to be.

I get on well with my MIL and think she is great. She stays with us twice a month to look after DS - this is something she wants to do and brings her a lot of pleasure. It also means that I have come to realise, and have subsequently shared observations with a close friend of hers that she has very disordered eating. I won't say she has an eating disorder because she has never had that diagnosis, and I think she 'manages' her condition so that it never quite becomes critical, although it appears that it may be a contributing factor to some long term health conditions she has.

Over the past couple of months I have noticed that her eating has become increasingly restricted. She goes through periods where it seems to improve and she eats more normally, and then periods where it worsens.

On the latest time she arrived with us she complained that she had eaten a dodgy egg sandwich on the train on her way, but since she has been here all she has eaten is a little porridge, a dry cracker and some scrambled eggs.

The reason I'm asking for opinions, and I'm prepared to be told IABU, but on the few times I have had food poisoning I have been unable to eat the thing that caused it for several months afterwards. I certainly couldn't have eaten it whilst I was still feeling ill. Is this common or can other people happily eat the same food stuff that recently made them ill?

I am asking because I am concerned about MIL's eating habits, and don't know whether to add this to the list of reasons to be concerned or whether it is nothing abnormal.

OP posts:
CheshireChat · 09/04/2019 21:17

Completely random, but you could get her an omelette maker to try and make her feel welcome? So she doesn't have to bring her pan?

It does sound like she has some issues surrounding food which you obviously can't tackle, but it sounds like a bit of love bombing is the way to go.

GlitterPixie · 09/04/2019 21:23

Yes I agree I got food poisoning from a burrito from a shop I LOVED (completely my own fault for bringing one home on the bus and reheating it Blush) I was so sick I thought I was dying this was about 8 years ago and even now walking down the street where the shop is I start to feel queasy and when I can actually smell it I have to really force myself not to gag. I had filled 2 loyalty cards from this place too I really loved it

Thistledew · 09/04/2019 21:55

I'm trying to encourage her away from the habit she has developed of just eating a one egg omelette and a couple of spoons of boiled vegetables for her dinner every evening.

She is with us for 4 nights every fortnight and before Christmas we were in a routine where she would eat with DH and I for at least two of those meals and I would prepare a decent balanced meal with carbs and fresh veg. From early this year she has barely eaten with us, and if she has at all has insisted on preparing her own food of said omelette, or a small slice of quiche, and very plain boiled veg such as carrot, broccoli, courgette or peas.

Sometimes if DH and I are both going to be late back from work we are very grateful that she will cook (or usually reheat something) for DS, and she will eat with him before we get home. But recently she has been going to some lengths to avoid eating with DH and I, even if we would be home to eat with her and DS by 6pm. She will say that DS is tired and needs to eat by 5pm so she is happy to cook for him and herself. Then to make sure that there is no real chance of eating with DH and I she has started preparing the evening meal earlier and earlier in the afternoon. Sometimes (as I work freelance) I can be home by 3.30 or so and I will find that she has already chopped veg that is sitting in water ready to be boiled and has broken an egg ready to cook.

More than anything I am sad that she struggles this way with her eating. Her BMI is very low and she has the early stages of osteoporosis, so can ill afford to be on a restricted diet.

OP posts:
GunpowderGelatine · 09/04/2019 21:56

I agree, I haven't eaten a curry in 7 years after getting food poisoning off one, the very thought makes me heave

MorganKitten · 09/04/2019 22:01

I had food poisoning from sea food.... no way am I giving up prawns, crab or lobster! Far too nice.

mirime · 09/04/2019 22:10

I've never been put off food I like, though oddly the food I actually could keep down occasionally while pregnant I can't face now very often.

GarthFunkel · 09/04/2019 22:14

I have a list of everything I've chucked up and can never eat again.

DS chucked up over his favourite star wars pjs and could never wear those again!

Does she eat her food in front of you? Would she eat something you had bought or prepared, but not in front of you? There's obviously something quite deep going on here.

Fatted · 09/04/2019 22:19

I know you're trying to help her, but I think the more you monitor what she's eating and try to eat with her, the harder it will push her in the other direction. It will just encourage her behaviour and send her into more anxiety and secrecy.

Have an honest conversation with her. You believe she has an eating disorder. You would like her to get help for it. You are worried she isn't eating enough for her health. And then encourage her to get help.

CoffeeRunner · 09/04/2019 22:54

I work on an elderly acute medical ward. My first thought is does she experience problems swallowing her food?

She seems to be opting for less food & softer food. I have seen this pattern many times in ladies with swallowing/digestion problems.

Hadenoughofitall441 · 09/04/2019 23:01

I’m like that.... 9 years ago I was sick , norovirus and the last thing I had eaten was hot dogs. I didn’t eat them for 2 years after and even now I rarely touch them. Twice I’ve been sick after eating sausages so I’ve sort of gone off of them, the only ones I eat now are Richmond frozen. My DS went off of triple chocolate cookies for a couple of years and he’s just had a sickness bug this weekend after a roast lamb dinner so got a feeling that will be a no go for a wHile. Dd on the other hand doesn’t care and will eat whatever whenever regardless if it’s made her sick 🙈

LuxLucetInTenebris · 09/04/2019 23:08

I haven't eaten meatloaf in prosciutto for 11 years. It wasn't even food poisoning but it was the last thing I ate before I got norovirus.......

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