to think that if you get food poisoning the last thing you want to eat is the food that caused it?

[Thistledew]

This may read like a MIL bashing thread, but please bear with me because I promise it is not intended to be.

I get on well with my MIL and think she is great. She stays with us twice a month to look after DS - this is something she wants to do and brings her a lot of pleasure. It also means that I have come to realise, and have subsequently shared observations with a close friend of hers that she has very disordered eating. I won't say she has an eating disorder because she has never had that diagnosis, and I think she 'manages' her condition so that it never quite becomes critical, although it appears that it may be a contributing factor to some long term health conditions she has.

Over the past couple of months I have noticed that her eating has become increasingly restricted. She goes through periods where it seems to improve and she eats more normally, and then periods where it worsens.

On the latest time she arrived with us she complained that she had eaten a dodgy egg sandwich on the train on her way, but since she has been here all she has eaten is a little porridge, a dry cracker and some scrambled eggs.

The reason I'm asking for opinions, and I'm prepared to be told IABU, but on the few times I have had food poisoning I have been unable to eat the thing that caused it for several months afterwards. I certainly couldn't have eaten it whilst I was still feeling ill. Is this common or can other people happily eat the same food stuff that recently made them ill?

I am asking because I am concerned about MIL's eating habits, and don't know whether to add this to the list of reasons to be concerned or whether it is nothing abnormal.

Yeah I see what you mean, any time I've been I'll thinking of the food I had before I last vomited made me gag and near be sick again.
Don't know if it's the same for everyone tho.

I think theres a difference between becoming ill from a shop bought sandwich and scrambled egg prepared at home. I think advice for eating after food poisoning is plain food like toast and egg so in my opinion it's not the same as say, becoming ill from eating undercooked chicken at Nando's and then making a roast chicken at home, which I think I'd be wary of.

I once saw my mum throwing up an egg sandwich and i have never been able to eat one since. It has scarred me for life but she will happily eat them. Perhaps not as quickly as your MIL did.

It's certainly the same for me - just the association is enough. I was very ill from eating a chicken and cous cous a few years ago in Morocco. I am certain that it was the chicken that made me ill - and not the cous cous - but it was over year before I could eat either.
I am still very reluctant to eat cous cous (would never order or cook it for myself, but will eat it if given) - and there is NO rational reason for that.

Yeah I got horrendous food poisoning from a pork dumpling in Poland a few years ago and now anything that vaguely resembles a dumpling makes my stomach feel 🤮🤢

YANBU. I haven’t drunk red wine in over a year. It was ONE glass, so not the wine that made me sick but an M&S chicken sandwich eaten earlier that day, btw but it gave all of the copious vomiting a distinct red wine taste, look and smell, and as a result, I can’t drink it anymore. Or use method loo cleaner because of the smell from having my head down a loo for 24 hours.

I have no problem eating the same food as the one that has made me sick, but I realise I'm in the minority!
However if this is a pattern of restricted eating, I think your right to be a bit concerned.

I've just seen that she has prepared her normal laxative. It seems a strange type of food poisoning that doesn't cause even a slightly runny tummy.

I god food poisoning from Gorgonzola almost 10 years ago. I’ve never eaten it since.

My dsis won’t eat noodles as she got food poisoning from them, the smell makes her gag. This was about 25 years ago.

I agree with your reasoning OP, it does sound suspicious/concerning. (Although I hate to jump to conclusions!) Are you questioning the fact she had a dodgy sandwich at all? Thinking maybe that was just an excuse to eat very little while she's with you?

I had food poisoning (my own fault, moment of stupidity) from raw chicken. After barfing for two days, losing 4lbs and eating nothing but digestive biscuits for 3, I admit I was back eating chicken again with no problem.

But... when I had disordered eating (luckily it didn't develop into full blown anorexia) I used to lie and say I had a bad stomach so people wouldn't question it when I restricted what I ate.

Yes, I am questioning whether she has told the truth. The other thing that doesn't quite add up is that she claims she ate the sandwich and immediately felt ill. I've always experienced a slight delay, if only an hour or so between eating something disagreeable and feeling ill.

She always has a reason for why she is not eating well, but usually underlying it is that she is feeling stressed or anxious about something. I wonder if the real problem is that she tweaked her back the day before she came to us and in fact is not up to dealing with DS so we have had to arrange an extra couple of days at nursery for him instead. I don't think she likes to feel physically incapable but an unavoidable illness that could happen to anyone might feel to her like a more acceptable excuse. And that coupled with the fact that she deals with any emotional upset by not eating.

Yeah, the laxative doesn’t sound right tbh... But I’m happy to be corrected. I would question that more than the eggs tbh! If I’m ever poorly and vomit, I do not usually want to eat the exact same thing I’ve just vomited. But an egg sandwich isn’t quite the same as scrambled egg... and you didn’t question the bread (she had a bad sandwich, she’s eating toast 🤷‍♀️).

Yeah, maybe it’s her back. What a shame for her. I’m sure she was looking forward to seeing her dgc.

On it's own I wouldn't read too much into it but in combination with you already suspecting she has disordered eating I do see what you mean. Eating disorders aren't always all or nothing - there are people that are essentially functioning anorexics/bulimics/NOS. No idea what the solution is but it's great you're concerned about her - sounds like you have a good relationship. Good luck.

I cant eat plain cornflakes it was the milk that was turning which caused the issue but my stomach has none of ot

Years ago I had gastroenteritis after eating a tin of tuna and a pre-packed salad. I detest tinned tuna although I love fresh tuna.

I also had a bout of sickness after eating homemade carbonara. It was my easy go to favourite meal. It makes me queasy thinking about it one year on. Thankfully I haven't been ill after chocolate or cream cakes.

Oh and I was ill after a kebab in 1986. I have never eaten one since and it was well over 10 years later that I could say the word without gagging.

Thankfully I haven't been ill after chocolate or cream cakes.

me neither, phew!

I had salmonella poisoning from a well known chicken restaurant and couldn't eat it for years after. Even now I'm not keen on it but I will go if others want to... I just make sure my chicken is properly properly cooked through and hope for the best

I was once hospitalised with a stomach bug and don’t have any problems eating the type of meal I chucked up (pasta with tomato sauce) but it wasn’t food poisoning - my dad had a stomach bug a few days before, so maybe that’s why it didn’t bother me. My mum also caught the same bug at the same time and she couldn’t touch pasta for ages afterwards.

Also, I wouldn’t class scrambled eggs as the same meal as egg mayo sandwich! Maybe she doesn’t either. I wouldn’t see her eating scrambled eggs as anything Tim be concerned about.

Yes, it sounds like you have read this very accurately. I recognise those behaviours too. She is lucky to have people around her who are understanding! But I guess you wouldn't feel comfortable questioning her?

You never ever get food poisoning straight away unless you've ingested a lot of a festering food full of bacterial toxin. Most food poisoning takes 1-3 days to show. It does sound like she is taking. That said, to your question of whether people can eat the food that made them ill - I have no problems doing this at all and would happily wolf down spaghetti right after seeing it puked up. I think I'm the odd one out though.

There's no point talking to her about her eating. I did once try, together with her best friend who also observed the same behaviours. I don't know whether she is in denial or whether she has just done it for so long that she just doesn't recognise it as abnormal anymore.

I might try to talk to her about why she is unhappy. I do fear that it is partly my fault. I had a prolonged period of nearly two months earlier this year when I was quite unwell with one bug after another and I also had a lot on at work. I know that I was tired and tetchy and when I am not feeling great I really withdraw into myself. I fear that I have not been making her feel very welcome.

There have been a couple of very small but quite odd little things that I have noticed that might mean that she is feeling uncomfortable when she visits: she has stopped using a normal bath towel to dry herself but instead uses a hand towel, even though I leave both out. And she has bought herself a pan to cook omelettes in as she doesn't like ours, but when she has finished using it she hides it away in her clothes drawers rather than putting it in our pan drawers.

Time for a conversation, I think.